Sunday, January 20, 2008

You're not Jesus You Know

Tonight a Saturday night, was cold again. The cool weather keeps a lot of people at home, but not all of them. The night was uneventful at first. I drove lots of my own personal clients. They're fun and they are probably the reason I feed my baby so well. The night got crazier the deeper it sank into morning. While I'm driving I have my fare share of time to think about everything. One thing that always seems to bother me is that even though I live in cold ass Canada there is nothing that separates my country from the USA. To all those of you who don't agree here is my little test, imagine this. Ten Canadians standing in a row, now imagine ten Americans standing in a row. Now what are the Canadians driving? shit the same thing as the Yanks.(Albertans drive even bigger trucks then the average gas guzzler type in the world, it's horribly bad here). What shoes are the Canadians wearing? that's right the same sweat shop made shoes as the Americans. Not enough, one more, how about those Canadians what's in their garbage? That's right people, the same fast food, chocolate bar fatty fat shit as the Americans. Canada looks and feels American, except of course for Quebec, they have some culture there, and smaller cars too. Aaaa I just wanted to get that off my chest. If you don't like what I just said go drive your massive 4by4 off a cliff, or better yet run it into another huge truck , that way you might help get rid of some of the ignorance in this nation. Alberta, my province is the worst culprit of this type of mentality and behavior in North America. Hey who cares though?
Tonight it got busy toward the end of the night. My cell phone rang off the hook. So this one time I answer it, it's this women that I drove earlier in the evening. She tells me she's at a bar on the east side of Jasper ave, I tell her I can meet her in ten minutes. So I cruise up to the pub, there is hundreds of people that are all hailing me frantically, trying everything for me to pull over for them, legs out some tops up (in the cold ) but I don't pull over I promised this women I would pick her ass up. So I get there and call her. While the phone is ringing I can see people spot me from other bars, they all start running at me. There is no answer on the phone. Some of the people who want a taxi start knocking on my locked doors. I'm shaking my head no. No one cares more and more people surround my car, some start to hit it trying to get me to open the door (it's crazy in Edmonton during the bar rush, good money though). I would not have stopped in such a place if it wasn't for this bitch who wasn't answering her phone. I hang up on the voice mail. "Fuck" there is at least ten to twenty people that want in the Taxi. Who do you let in? No one you have to drive away, If you even open the door there will be a fist fight within a matter of seconds, It might even involve me for being such an ass and tempting all these kids in the cold with a possible taxi ride home before they get hypothermia. One of the dudes who was being pushed up against my passenger side window, kept yelling "you're not Jesus you know" that made me laugh. I drove away with no broken car parts. Lucky! I picked up the next girl I saw, she was standing in the -25 degree weather with bare legs and a short skirt she looked cold, (later I realized she was just angry she lost a cell phone or something) she was nice she shared the taxi with two young lesbians paid their fare and tipped me thirty five bucks, she was my best fare, "hey lady thanks" she was also a little crazy but that's what makes my job so exciting. While driving her the lady I was suppose to pick up at the pub calls, "where are you?" I almost tore her a new one, but I was polite and told her that I had left because she did not answer her phone like a good passenger. Fuck her. I did my job, she was probably giving some dude a hand job in the can. If there was more I can't remember.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahaha i bet it felt like you were Jesus though, everyone surrounding you, WANTING you, to be at your presence hahaha

Bum Atom said...

totally, I'm like a rock star during the bar rush

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being so good to us that night. It was random but thoroughly enjoyable to have multiple trips with ya and go all the way to the bend. :)

Vicky said...

If I was Jesus...I'd probably make sure your blog got in the bible.

Elizabeth said...

Hey!
you're back!
how was Van??
did you get business cards made up with your blog address?
dude you should if you don't :)

sorry we couldn't catch up on Sunday.
it was a CRAZY nite......
next time k?

Bharat said...

I know I shouldn't be saying this... but the only source I get on Canada is... well.. coughsouthparkcough... and i'm quite sure they don't do justice to you lot by a mile...

XD (you're not jesus you know!)... I wonder what he meant by that :)

PS - You're not jesus you know, with your word verification and everything... what is cwzukvl?