Monday, March 31, 2008


Hey there sweet lady, you must be a girl or an old lady, I can tell. I think I gave you a ride I don't know, but that's what I think. Keep commenting, I'll know who you are, you might be someone who's blog I commented on, that's cool I hurt your feeling that's good I must have been right, Love you too, rock on. Or she could be a whore I didn't touch, fuck I love this, it's thrilling. No she doesn't know me, but it's a women I think.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

What is Canadian freedom?

Military fares always get the best treatment, well I treat everyone the same but dudes in the army get my respect even if they misbehave. Tonight there was a 20 year old soldier in my car and he was the man, super cool kid. He had a older girlfriend that loved him, very cool, but what made him so unique was that he had been shot twice. Once by a Recoils rifle ( bazooka) obviously he survived but it took a chunk out of him, dude you and your lady rocked thanks for talking about Afghanistan with me, and Yes your job is much more dangerous then mine, but mine does have it's moments. Like tonight there was this guy, my last fare 711 154st and Stony plain Rd he had been waiting for a Taxi for over an hour. No one wanted to pick him up because of the way he looked. I did, he called and I showed up there. O.k so he gets in and of course says 95 st and 107 ave (little Italy) tough area. He's angry that he had to wait so long. I tell him I just got the call five minuted ago and the reason he had to wait so long was because he was in one of the filthiest neighborhoods in the city. I let him smoke a cigarette, he forgets the whole ordeal. He starts telling me about how he was at Brados Bar when some guy he was dealing with messed around with him. My fare is a little unstable. He waits for the sucker out side the bar and when he steps out for a Smoke he pins him against the wall. Then Suckers buddy breaks a beer bottle over my fares head. That's the end of that. My fare is done, he shows me the gash on his head. You never can tell what's under a baseball cap. One of the things with dealing with violent people, you know the inherently scary ones, you have to have them on your side. To do that you side with them. If there is more then one violent asshole in the car it gets a little harder to deal with but this time it was just me and him. This guy was on crack or maybe coke or meth but I think it was crack. So on the way to 95 and 107 he starts telling me about he's a single father and his daughter is at the neighbors house and how good of a person he is. He says he's from out east and how much better it is there (morally), he said it was so bad here that he needed to buy a 9 millimeter. This guy owns a hand gun he bought from someone for twenty bucks. I asked if he used it, he said no not yet. He kept pretending that he was holding it. I told him that it wasn't a good thing to have around a five year old. He told me that he kept it on his dresser, no fear. Then I told him that the address he was going to was in a whore ridden part of town. He told me that the Italians don't stand for that kind of stuff, that his block was clean. Then I pulled into the alley where there was an entrance to his apartment building and I saw a couple of junked out whores, he got excited, I said that there is no way in hell they're getting in to my car. He pretended he wasn't going to pick them up. He paid me 20 bucks it turned out I forgot to turn on the meter. I drove off past the hookers who were just some young native girls so strung out that they were twitching. I drove past the alley where I entered with him and saw one of them on her knees, at least he didn't do it next to his daughters room with his gun.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Imagine Your Favorite Guitar Lick...

The best thing ever is driving fast on a highway to hell. hhaha. Yeah that's cool but when you're a dad the next best thing is driving on a highway listening to Jimmy Hendrix alone. Ever done it? Wow it gets me every time, and then a SuperTramp song comes on and you take the long way home. I bet you guys thought I was only happy when I'm drunk. Tonight there was many marvelous people and more then a few crack head whores and pimps, I love them all. I got a crazy perspective on my man the mother of nature, lucky me. My second last fare was a strange one. There was this women at the 711, an old Indian women. She gets in and tells me a name of a neighbourhood, "Callingwood." I start making my way there. I ask her the usual, "where you from? where did you go? Why are you stranded on Stony Plain road alone at 4pm?" She gives me the same old answers "The reserve, I was at the Ramada, my friends ditched me and now I'm lost." Anyone if you come to the big city remember your address or else. Anyway she started to talk to me in a drunken haze, she told me that she came to Edmonton to drown herself. I asked if she meant drink a shit load of booze, but she said "no". She said she had two kids her baby boy is going to be 18 in a month. She said that his 18th is the golden birth day. Then she told me that her daughter would have been 28 but she committed suicide ten years ago. The women also told me that she went out with her 18 and 17 year old nieces but they ditched her cause her 50 some year old ass wouldn't smoke crack with them at the Ramada inn. She was kind of a sad fare. I was going to be really stern with her because she didn't know the address but her stories were able to soften my mean cabby heart. She paid me and even asked for the 40 cents change, she said she needed it, I believed her. Then she left and I picked up a dude on his way to the airport. I dropped him off and as he was walking to the entrance to the airport I realized that Native women that I drove earlier had urinated all over the front seat. That's why she was so settled, I get a sad story and she pissed all over my passenger side seat. What's the moral?

Friday, March 28, 2008

Floating on my own boat

The one thing that can really get to any cabdriver is the back and neck pain. Fuck! I feel like I'm at least 50 my neck is so twisted, my head hurts. There is more, my first fare was a gang member of some sort he told me the name but I chose not to hear it. He straight out told me he sells hard. Hard is not soft, to those of you who have no clue, Hard is Crack and Soft ....... is coke. I guess it also causes softness. I asked him if he did crack he said "no". His teeth said pipe. I wanted to ask for some cash up front, but I never do that it makes me feel weird. It's also one of the reasons I get to know each client so well. I want to know that they are going to pay me, but at the end of one of my rides you always leave a tip. This guy was either really fucked up or just didn't want his I pod thing a mijigi video something, 30 GB. I don't think it works cause it keeps showing me sad mac, I don't have the right connection, a USB cable, Ill get one, but if I can get it running I think it was worth the 13 dollar trip. I took a gamble with this one, but at least I got paid. This Thursday was a sign of things to come. Quite. Not just slow, dead. I drove around for hours looking, hunting for nothing. The only thing I found was other taxi drivers. Headache. I still have one. I tense up when I'm alone in the Taxi for to long. Then I was sitting alone in the On The Rocks parking lot right after last call. I was burning Gas waiting for anything, looking at pictures of my son when a kid gets in, drunk and he had just smoked a joint, He stank. "West end" he directed. I acknowledged him and we started on are marry way, then the girl called and told him she wants to see him in the south side, deep south side. So toward Ellerslie I drove. I got there with a little help from my dispatch, but as soon as we arrived she announced that her boyfriend was there. My fare got to kiss her Goodnight and returned with me to the west end. He worked up a good 60$ fare, he tipped me a lot. He said I made his trip to Edmonton a Good one, he was from Edson. Then I told him I was nominated for a 1# driver in the service industry. He wasn't surprised, but then no one ever is.

Monday, March 24, 2008

your allowed to drink and blog

I just make no sense, but neither does life, sometimes. If I left you an awful comment, leave me one. No one ever does.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Canon Camera was Lost by Laura- weird

God I love having this blog. Blogs are so fucking cool. My taxi is an amazing place to watch a night out on the town unravel. This was a strange weekend. Quit! It was hard to make money, but you made money. It's such a crazy job, you never know. Today is easter Sunday. O.k so my last fare, West-west end stony Plain Rd, motel, Inn thing, room 2 something this women comes out screwed to the tits, Broken, Messed and ready to continue on a psychotic crack bender from hell. Twitching! Bad. Great. "Where you going?" She can't tell me she's flipping through her address book. Totally finished. " I've only been awake for two day's." She was lying. The dirty west-end Hotel shit that's a never ending nightmare. She was scary and I told her that. I was having fun talking to her, but there was always a possibility of something, she could be a threat. This women was for sure schizophrenic, Drug induced. She was also a scam waiting to happen. She was taking me further then I was expecting to go. I asked her for the address. She asked to use my phone."No!" Instinct. I was past the half way point and she'd been to the address. I trusted her. It was 4:00am I wanted to dig deep into the underbelly of the beast. It is easter morning. This women is so messed up. Flying around the back seat like a little demon, but she wasn't, but she was. I wanted to record it. Document it for you guys, visually. A prime example of a person in the Wind. We showed up to a House that she pointed out. Twin Brooks, Classy joint nowhere to run. Knock Knock, Ding dong. Middle of the night. Crazy, tweaked out, hooker smiling at you at your front door."Go away" she's told by someone who's probably pretty confused because the women was totally brain dead and kicking. Then we went drove a block over, Ding dong. The door opens and she's gone. I saw her jacket fly off and the door slams shut. I wait......and wait........get impatient, radio dispatch and tell them I'm going in "keep an ear on me." I get out and cruise over to the door. Twin Brooks nice neighbourhood, I use my knuckle, Tap tap. She answers, he's right behind her, nice house she invites me in. There was a nice look while she was waving me inside, it was like she was inviting me to where she was really from. They were on their way, I jumped back in the car and radioed back. The prostitute had her stuff all over the back seat. They both jumped in. We started back toward the main road. The dude was a dude that was fucking himself over bad. Loosing his house, business, Bad news. He had the cash, well the credit, he told me his friend was at the 711 up the road. We drove there. We talked about how badly this guy was fucking up. He laughed, she laughed, We laughed. 711 was about five bucks away, we got there and waited. The crack dealer showed up. Then the John bought the whore a grape slurpee. That's what she wanted. When the guy took a drink of it he said " Man that reminds me of high school." The girl was almost asleep on the guys lap. My Taxi ride can settle a troubled mind or maybe it was that the crack hit was coming. Dispatch sent me a Text. I called in and told "I'm ok." The fare was sixty Dollars, he gave me sixty five. I said "stay safe" he said " I'll try" and that was my last fare.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Its hard to make Refference to Music. Groovy

I love and hate my job. I love to experience the creation of the mutual understand of things. Tonight was tight in good ways and bad. Nothing scary, just screaming people that have face book stalkers. Men already know everything there is to know about women before they even consensually meet. Not fare! What's fare? I drove a Muslim man from the Dyker to 107 107, slow down, we talked about religion. It's a religious day. For some. Jesus was a hot topic. It was neat. The Crucifixion is a big day for Catholics, and Christians too. I spoke Polish in the cab, with a young gentlemen. That never happens, his father was a taxi driver here. Polish people are often the people behind the wheel. GoD I love speaking in other languages, I don't like it when others speak a language I can't understand. Today some Egyptians spoke Arabic, and it's like I lost control of the situation. I usually can get in on any conversation. Just throw the philosophical question and boom! In there and running, working your way into their lives realizing whatever you can just because you can. I don't speak Arabic, I can't even remotely understand it. I think they did it (not include me) because I almost drove away from them. I wasn't discriminating I was just not focused on making money tonight, I mean I was but I didn't make any. Moving to fast. Sometimes you can only try so hard before you give up. The Police always come out in full force on nights like tonight. When things are quiet even though it's a Friday night, that's when the cops can pick on you. There is this crack dealer that I drove once, he's been calling me non stop, I can't have him in the car, and he needs to use it. I could never have that kind of stuff going on around me. Often there are Cats that think that they can use me in order to personally gain a great deal of wealth, by destroying the lives of others, and then compensating me with Jack shit. This guy got my number from some girl I totally trust. He is her family, and I wish I never met him. I was hungry all night and still am. Some rich people are good and some are not. Same with the poor, and the middle class. Fuck groovy I am a pessimist.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Sweet feet something you just can't beat

Thursday is the start of the Easter long weekend. My night was going well at first. I was making the mad money when I was suppose to go to the airport to pick up my own mother. Well it was super busy so I called in a favor from the family and they sent my extremely pregnant cousin for the ride. So who can I write about, there was the chick that is on her way to becoming a RCMP officer she told me that the police chief actually became the chief because some one owed him a favor, and that the man that was meant to be chief would actually be doing something about the crime. Go figure the chief got luck won a bet and started to watch a city burn cause he really knows nothing about taking care of his job, not surprising. It was a personal client kind of night. My first clients were sweet St. Albert women that were lucky to get me cause they looked good the first time I ever picked them up, they wore these sexy high heels and I appreciate a women that can wear a mean set of heals and actually walk in them. So they got picked up and they paid like only classy chicks know how to pay, thanx. Then there was the teacher women, I've never been able to pick her up, tonight I tried but she ditched me. Getting ditched almost never happens so it hurt a bit, but I survived. Then I got a personal call that I know very well, I've been driving her for a long time she has always been consistent but tonight she did not show up, which is shitty but not like her. I should know she has called me at least 50 times in the last year. I tried to call her back but she wouldn't answer her phone. I'm scarred something happened to her. Call me please I'm still worried, she has even left comments on the blog before so she might read this and get my message. Then there was another old fare, it's her birthday today, the big one nine. She is young. Her older cousin sat in my lap trying to get a cheap fare to Sherwood park but that was a no go. I drove the birthday girl home alone and for free. Happy birthday. Some dude also snorted so much coke in the back that what he left behind was enough to kill a bull dog, but he seemed fine, he must have had a hard core tolerance, coke kids always tip me pretty well and all I want from them is to sober up and have fun naturally, but they never do

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Fake Id's at the Druid 80$ a Pop

Saint Patrick's was my most lucrative night last year. I grossed something like 650$. This year was much different, it was a Monday, people work tomorrow. I made a decent wage. I have a couple stories. There was the old dude, real nice. I picked him up at the bus station, and the first thing he told me was that on the bus he had to take a shit. He could feel his crap creeping up on him. When he reached the city station he shot out of the bus as fast as he could. He made it to the bathroom, then he had to get undressed. Well then he took his shit. He said that when he finished he felt satisfied, but as he was pulling up his pants he found, on his special pads a few lumps. Good thing he was wearing the special pad because all he had to do was throw the pad away and bada bing he could put his pant on without feeling insecure. I thought that was a great one. Then there was this big lady coming from downtown to the west end. She was hefty, she was wearing a dress, lots of cleavage and it was a short dress. When she got in the front seat she sat like a man, big legs spread, she smelt so bad. Her insides, it was rough. Then there was the Jehovah's Witness, she was insane, she told me that she was kicked out of her religion. She had had premarital sex with another man of her faith. She confessed for her sin but he did not, she got the boot he stayed. She smelt like she had not showered in a month, but she was nice and she was a believer in the big guy upstairs so she was kind of intriguing, even though she smelled funny and she was a little crazy. Crazy people are either Jesus or the devil. I also picked a 18 year old up in Riverbend he was hitchhiking, I picked him up and drove him to the outlaying suburb of Sherwood Park, a forty dollar trip for free, so Johnny don't forget the Karma Factor. That was it for strange things that happened to your......oh no there was also this women from Doc's a shit hole on Stony Plain Rd. She was only going three blocks. I don't even turn on the meter for trips like that. She gave me five bucks and I gave her my number, she gave me hers and said "If you're ever looking for some crack just call or some crack (snatch) just call" then she told me she wants a kid because her youngest is now 8. I told her to think about that and maybe just remember how much attention a baby needs. We all know that a women that sells her snatch for crack should lay off the baby making. At least that's what I think. How about you? Better yet how's about Saint Pattie? Bada Bing.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Cork Whore-Hard Core Hot Dog in the Mouth

My night was full of snow. More fucking snow. I had lots of personals, some personals called just to say hi. Yo, Love all of you. Not much to say other then tonight I had several intelligent ladies and gentlemen in the car. Not a one was a crack head. There were so many drunk drivers. I now realize that the cops are just worthless. One of my good friends called me, one that I stopped hanging out with cause he really isn't such a good friend, but he was with his cousin who just had a daughter and I had a lot in common with him so I'm happy that I picked them up. Babies can really bring people together. Earlier in the evening I was called to an address 81ave and 109st they asked for five taxis. That's a huge number of cars. I was the first to show up from my company. There was a another Co-op taxi there already. I'm not affiliated to Co-op so I went to his window to ask if he was also one of five that were called to that address, he said "yes." That means that the asshole who lives at that address called ten taxis. Some of the people started to come out of the house. I asked the Co-op prick to not take them cause they have abused their privileges, the asshole took them, they even started talking shit to me, his fare. #$% was the Co-op cars number, so he took the first batch of assholes and then all the other cabs started showing up. 8 fucking taxis. @#$ had already taken off. If I ever find that piece of shit taxi driver and I'm loaded I am gonna take a dump in the back seat of his van. He broke the ultimate in taxi etiquette. He even wasted his own peoples time, remember readers $5$ Co-op a big van, that guy should be taken off the road, non violently but he should be gone. ^&% if you get in his van feel free to take a shit for me, in the back seat please and thank you. Other then that the night was uneventful and that's great.  Peace and love.  

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Like I don't know, the Yukon

Holly shit this was a doozie. The storm came and went and then came back. Snow, snow, snow and then some more fucking snow. Mat sorry no Beaumont tonight. Love to all my personals. Now lets get down to business, my fares. There was little that I can tell you that was interesting other then the fact that it snowed about a half a foot of snow in a matter of a few hours. Most of those hours where pivotal moments for money making, but that's life. Mother nature sure knows how to stick a dick in the ass of the taxi driver. That's o.k as long as no else tries to I'm fine. Back in the day some native man asked if he could hold my penis, but I think I already told you that one. Tonight was not the best for a decent story, the only thing that sticks out in my mind was the voices. People get in a Cab and talk. Some speak eloquently and some don't. Some tell the truth and some lie. Others talk down while others speak up. You can tell a lot about a person by the sound of their voice, by the way they insinuate things. Tonight I had a 17 year old in the back seat with a young gentlemen 18. She was under age but she had gotten a hold of half a Margarita, so in her mind she was allowed to behave drunk. She wanted attention, and the only way she could do it was by talking like she was like needing to like stripe or something like that. She couldn't hold a conversation with a brick wall but she would fuck it for attention. I tried to tell her that her behavior was unacceptable without actually telling her that she sounds like a 17 year old that's on her way to being some rig pigs crack whore, but her mind though young was to feeble to grasp my approach. The boy did, he knew the girl was headed for trouble but he was 18 and like all 18 year olds sex is a necessity. Dude I hope you got laid, but that girl is bad news. Later I got another girl with the same attitude in her voice, condescending. She was like aaaaaa I don't know like aaaaaaaa you know like aaaammmmm except she was like twenty five and almost a nurse. She wanted the same type of attention except she was almost 25. I told her that she sounded like a teenager, that pissed her off (it was suppose to, but she didn't understand) Girls with good looks often don't fully develop mentally they kind of stop at 17. That's when they can get whatever they want, as long as they bend over or smile like a donut, so sometimes I like to point that out to them. Now I don't know if any of the ladies that I talked shit about will read this post but if they do please leave a comment explain yourselves. Or change your ways. Honestly adulthood is so fucking hard, I wish I didn't know the right way, then I might be able to except all the shit that happens in this modern civilized rich world. Ladies (only the dumb bimbos, they know who they are) your children are going to one day rule the world, teach them how to make life beautiful not how to suck dick for coke. I'm an asshole but I'm right, cause some women are having kids and those kids are brought up by empty people. Who cares, I did my job, I did my best so to you good folks out there stay safe and have fun. If you know you know.

Friday, March 14, 2008

If your boy can't drive you home sober, ditch his ass

Tonight was the night before the storm. I hope there is no storm tomorrow. Not much to tell you guys about, there was a couple of personals. My old lady is in Van this week so I'm home alone, I went to work early. I thought I was going to make a killing, but I was very wrong. 350 some km and I made some crappy number closer to 200 then 300 but at least no kick in the head right? Wrong, I'm sick for the first time since I started driving taxi. My face is full of snot. I hate it. I realized that I have snot all over my jacket, it must have landed there after one of the many sneezes. I am so embarrassed because even though there wasn't very many people in my taxi they all must have seen the glimmer of bugger all over my collar area, no one said a word, and no one tipped worth a damn. They had good reason I guess. "AAAaaaa chuuuuu" fuck I'm done there is snot on the keyboard, please come back tomorrow I might have a decent story for you.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Edmonton the land of Dirt Bags

You know last night I was so tiered that I forgot to tell you what happened to my friend. She works at a bar, just a little pub off of Jasper. So last call hits, then the bars closes and she get in her car to go home. She turns onto Jasper ave and stops at a red light, there is a man sitting in his white truck with the hazard lights on. As soon as the light says go she starts to move but so does he. She drives home, her usual course all the way to the West end, when she approaches her house she realizes that the man is still following her. He's making all the same turns she does. She tries to loose him but no the fucker persists. She drives toward the freeway, so does he. She calls me over and over again. She was so scared that while driving on the freeway she swerved into an exit lane at the last minute. The exit leads to my house where my girlfriend was sleeping. She lost the guy but was so scared to go home she knocked on my girlfriends window at 5 am. She slept over at our house. I was upset to hear such a scary story. I was more upset that she did not get the animals license plate, but I was happy that she felt safe here with my family. If I was a women getting followed by that asshole he would be in jail, getting rapped (hopefully). I would have gotten him back. Anyone in this position ever should call 911.

People who stand in lines to go to the bar are like sheep

Tonight was a straight up shit show. The weather was good throughout the day (spring like) so the night was full of people looking for trouble. The lines to the bar were so long that I wish I took a picture of them, but I was too busy driving dushbags around. I had a fare on the North side 156 ave and 43rd st, holly shit was it ever hard to find. I would have ditched it it took me so long but it was my cousin. I love my cousin even though he parties on the North side. There wasn't anything weird tonight. Except the daylight savings change that made the night go a little faster. Driving the night shift for almost three years has fucked me up. I need a little more day time, sunlight and a little less blackness and bad driving. Lots of drunks driving more then usual and I saw lot of cops but they were in the bus shelters flirting with the bums. I'm happy they weren't hitting on me. Lots of personal fares called me, the only problem was they all called at the same time. I can only drive one car at a time.
My first fare was a personal client, she told me that her mother was a drug addict. I drove her mother to buy prescriptions the other day so I already knew that her mother was a heroin, oxy-codon abuser. The fare also told me that she had given birth to a still born baby a little while ago. The father of the child had left her, and she was forced to arrange the funeral by herself, thats some sad stuff. She was still upset about it, I think anybody human would be, but she did not turn to drugs to help her deal with the pain, actually she moved out of her moms house and completely turned herself into a good person. I could see the kindness in her eyes, something that her mother did not have anymore. The night was so busy and flew by so fast that I can't really remember very much so I hope the horror story about the still born is enough and if it isn't then come back soon there is more where this came from.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

If the line up to the bar is too long go somewhere else

Tonight was so nice, one of my new regulars did something for me that I'll never understand. I drove her to New City, she gave me the best tip I've ever gotten, so thank you. The night was slow, no rotten apples (thank God) but other then the Big tip I made jack shit, but that's o.k. 2-300$ is better then a kick in the face. That's what my old lady likes to tell me when I complain about money, and she's right I don't want a kick in the noggin. Lots of personal fares, some new some old. One of the newer ones is this 19 year old girl. She likes to party but just drinks booze no drugs. Well she called me late or early in the morning, she sounded distressed so I hurried to pick her up. She had gone on a date with a Newphy, actually I drove the couple to the strip club. Well she called me later and sounded upset so I picked her up. She tells me that they were having a great time until he wanted to go back to his place, he dragged her back. She though maybe it's going to go, pizza and a movie. No that wasn't the case, the dude was hurting for sex and he tried to force her into it. When she got in my car she told me that she was lucky that he even let her go. I am now starting to understand the concept behind date rape and how women feel guilty over such incidences, but I will never understand how a human male is capable of it. A man who forces himself into a women is not a man he's some sort of primate, a monkey that knows how to talk. Women should have a radar for that kind of bastard. There is signs I bet but I can't see them since I am never exposed to rapists who will admit that they rape. That's the strange part of my job sometimes people tell me shit about their life that no one knows, but even though I've had girls tell me they've been assaulted, I've never had a man come into the taxi and tell me he just raped somebody. I know that I've driven someone like that way to many times, but I never heard a word. Sometimes I'll drive a group of men that just had sex with a girl, and it sounds like they took advantage of her but because their in a group they don't see it the way I do. Drunk assholes are some of the worst people they follow each others leads like sheep. That is one of the most nauseating things that I see, the following of bad behavior even though you know better. I guess we can't all think for ourselves, because so many humans are just cattle. Mooo.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I never picked up a Hooker Untill my Girlfriend got Pregnant

Tonight tonight. What happened? Well there was my third fare an ex cab driver, this guy worked for the same company I do and even drove taxis owned by the guy I work for. He gets in at Lee Gardens Pub on the West-End and as soon as he steps in he asks "you a cop?" I say "no" then he says "good then we're going to be doing some driving." I Know what's going on but the guy keeps telling me that he knows all the tricks of the trade cause he drove a taxi for ten years ten years ago. He told me to go downtown, so I started driving in that direction. I knew what he wanted but I figured since the mother fucker was such an experienced driver that he could guide me. He did willingly. He gave me sixty bucks and told me "there was more where that came from just keep driving" so I did. We get to 107 ave and he starts his trolling, He sees nothing that he likes and we move on to the next street, 95th st still nothing. He tells me that there is this one that he really likes. We keep driving until we hit 118 ave, lots to choose from, none tickle his fancy. Until he sees her, ugly skinny and fucked up. "Stop that's the one" he screams so I turn into an alley and tell him that if he wants me to drive him back to the West-End he's going to have to step out of the vehicle to solicit her, he doesn't he just rolls down the window. Again I say "get out of the car, don't talk to her from inside my car until you finish the business you want to arrange with her outside." He gets out, I think to myself this guy is married . The two get in. I say "west" and the guy says "no Londonderry Mall", I move in that direction, the whore starts talking to her medicine man over the phone "hey it's China, no no I got money Ill be there in a few minutes, I got some wheels." We pull up to the mall and China steps out looks around and tells us to wait. I tell the guy to watch her, he had already given her 150$. We wait until a blue Olds Mobile pulls into a parking stall a few cars away. She goes and gets in, then another lady walks up to the car and gets in. They both get dealt a bag of crack suited for a John and his whore. The two hookers get out of the blue car and China comes running back to my taxi. She gets in, the two in the back talk in whispers for a few minutes, then China packs a pipe full of rocks and tries to get the guy to smoke it so he can prove that he's not a cop. I tell the two there is no crack allowed in the car. So we pull into an alley off of 127th st and the dude gets out an smokes and hit of crack. She is cool with him after that, but he has decided to kick little China doll out into the cold and move on with his bag of crack without her. In a way I applauded him, most men can't do that, even if they're married. He gave me 20 more dollars and I dropped him off a Ezzies in the Ramada Inn next to the airport downtown. That was 80$ worth of work don't you think?
Then there were the two dudes, they came from up North, they were rig pigs. They told me to drive them to the Fairmont Hotel McDonald, I thought classy for riggers but hey the dumb fucks go up there to rack in the cash. Later they told me that the company pays for the rooms. On the way we get to talking, they both seem legit, until the one who's been a rig pig since he was 17 decided he wanted to go to a Rub and Tug. I told them it's late, and most massage parlors are closed, they did not care, they had money in their pocked begging them to be spent on whores. We drove around for about fifteen bucks looking for a sleazy Jerk off Joint but we had no luck, they tried so hard too, they would run up to the doors to make sure they were closed. Then one of them said "fuck, I've made enough money why don't I just call up an escort, whats 400$ for a good blow job and fuck hahahaha?" The two laughed. I got them to their hotel and they left me feeling dirty, but this jobs been doing that lately. Then I had a couple of Mexican musicians smoke weed in the car, I told them not to but their friend just kept insisting "it's that guys birsday, please, don't kick us out" the smoking Mexicans stopped and I got them to their destination. There was more crap like that but I'm tiered so peace out. Oh and I haven't talked to the owner of the taxi about the theft yet but I'll fill you in if there is any juice behind it.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

I knew DATS was chalk full of bad Drivers but.......

A DATS driver was charged for a sexual assault on a Women with a disability. DATS is an Edmonton transportation company, it's for the disabled and they get their Drivers from the Taxi commission sometimes. If you ever get a shifty driver of any kind report the bum, and get his ass fired or arrested. It's in the hands of the victims.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

"Hello this is Constable............."

I wake up to my girlfriend telling me "the cops just called asking if you're safe" I asked "why?" My girlfriend said "They have reports that two aboriginal women are driving around in your taxi." The funny thing is this is the second time I've gotten that phone call in a year. The crappy thing is I filled the car with the expensive gas, they were out of regular and I was excited to drive around with some high octane.

Alley cat's right past 142nd, nice hood

Hey tonight was awesome for all the right reasons except the cash, I came home with Thursday night earnings. You know what that's o.k this thursday I made more then I usually do. I picked up a women that I met using Blogspot. Her and her boyfriend were my best fare tonight. You two thank you for the kindness and the appreciation you guys are hard core and I loved it, call my ass anytime.
I did have one interesting fare, it was this girl that came into the car with a bunch of guys, she knew one of them but they weren't together (just friends). This lady was hyper-active or going through a manic state of some sort. She did not appear high on drugs in any way, she was just on fire. She kept insinuating that she was a slutty girl, she talked about how she likes to smile like a donut and that kind of dirty stuff. The car was full of guys including me, when she stepped out to buy smokes we talked about what we thought of her. The two dudes were already planning a tag team event, they were even giving each other high fives like they were in the ring, but they were in the front and back of my car. She came back and talked dirty some more and even told the two guys that she was going home with them. She backed out at the last minute and went home with her friend. She has this blog address and my phone number so if she wants to find out where the tag teamers live just give me a call, not! Hey lady I hope you stay safe in the future but even if you're manic depressive remember the world does not revolve around you, this is a dangerous city and you could invite the wrong mother fucker into your hotel room one night and who knows what will happen? Crazy.
There was also this personal fare that I had, she called me, and I decided to pick her up. East end of stony plain. She lived in a house that had been black listed by all the companies. I met her last night. I remember I had to drive fast, before the pharmacy closed. I made it with three minutes to spare. She got her pills. The next stop was the London Drugs store, she got cover up to cover up the herpes . She told me she was a coke addict. I drove her home, and gave her my number. She called tonight, I was stupid enough to pick her up. I waited like twenty minutes and when she finally got in, she told me that she was going four blocks away. She hadn't slept since I drove her to the pharmacy. She did a lot of coke. We were greeted at the destination by a fat asshole that was so psychotic he forgot to put on shoes, she paid me ten bucks and told me that she hoped that was enough to re insure another ride at another time. It's never enough, but that lady is never going to get my time of night.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Fucking Photo Radar

Do you know why it can suck being a bouncer at a strip joint? Cause sometimes you got to throw out a fat guy wearing loose sweat pants and no underwear. Hahahahaha someone told me that tonight. So what happened? I bit my tongue and it's bleeding. I got lost with these two sweet women, nothing makes me feel like less of a man then getting lost. I also got a photoradar ticket. If you guys know anything about me it's that I fucking hate the photoradar operator. He's as bad as the fucking crack dealers except he puts money in the pockets of mmmm I don't really know but I'm sure the money gets wasted on politicians and cops. None of them do very much good. At least in my city. I can't talk too much shit about the cops cause one day I might need their help and they might actually make it in time to assist me out of a violent situation, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It was a slow night, the two ladies I got lost with were my best fare, because they enjoyed the ride so much they left me a huge tip, so thanks.........whatever you want to call the big guy or girl upstairs for women who don't know where they're going. Oh my last fare was a couple of strait up crooks, they spend the night looting and breaking into peoples houses for a living, I just wanted to let you guys know that they were wearing thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, and they had lots of cash, so if you want to rob and steal and get away with it Edmonton is the place to be, and if you want to be legit and be successfully, die and go to heaven cause this is hell baby, at least at night.