Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Memories, the first of many

Horror stories, I got lots. To keep my reader reading I have to go back a year or two to give you people some truth, a nasty event that I witnessed while just learning the city. Here you go.
It was a snow storm, in 2006, the snow was incredible that year. I was driving up 127th street with a fare, a couple of boys and a girl. They were having fun on the way to their house I remember, I was already a kick ass navigator, we were in the North side 160th ave. We passed a bar named Richards Pub, the snow was falling hard, a Friday night snow storm. So on the way to the fares house I saw a girl frantically flagging me down, but since I was delivering a group of young drunks home I could not stop for the lost looking lady. Luckily the fare was almost home, a block away from the girl, I remember being overjoyed. "I'm gonna get that crazy looking chick" I shouted to my fare as they left my taxi to enter the comfort of their own home. I remember rushing back so if another taxi was in the area they would miss her. I made it. The chick was still standing in the snow by the side of the road flagging me down frantically. I stopped to let her in, as she got in I saw her cloths were riped and she was crying hard. "Are you alright" I asked immediately , " I was just raped" she told me, I was new but I believed her, the tattered cloths were a good hint. She was upset. I told her that we were going to the closest Police station, She said "NO". I was like "Why not, some predator is out there in this snow storm, the fucker should get caught". In hind sight I should have recommended the Hospital, less emotionally intrusive and better for the physical evidence. Either way she did not want to go. It weirded me out. She said "this has never happened to me, please just take me home". I said "come on, this guy will do it again if you don't do anything, I'll take you to get help anywhere for free, lets just get this guy". Her answer "No, just take me home". I drove her home, it was all that I could do. I was scared for her, and I did not understand why she made such a dumb choice. I did what she asked, I took her home for free. She lived close to Richards Pub.
After she made it inside her apartment, I was on the prowl . I drove back to the Bar looking for a suspect. I remember seeing some dude in heavy winter cloths walking, I rolled down my window and asked him "have you seen anything suspicious around here" the dude said "no". Then I yelled "I just drove a girl that got raped home, do you know anything" the dude said "no" and ran away into a field full of snow, he disappeared into the storm in a matter of moments. I drove up to the pub to look for the bastard. Some older women came to my car, they needed a ride. I told them to get in. Once I knew where I was going I told the drunk old twats what had just happened. They flipped out on me "it was you" they said "you're the rapist". I told them "she got in my cab just like you ladies, I had nothing to do with what happened to her". They were drunk, one of them understood what I was trying to warn them about, but one of them kept accusing me of the crime. She asked for my Id witch I showed her, she said "I'm gonna call the cops on your ass" then she phoned someone. That someone was not the cops, it was a group of big black dudes, She told them that I was trying to kidnap her and her friend. They came to back her up. Her friend tried to talk sense into the bitchy lady, but no matter what she said the women kept accusing me of raping a girl. The big black guys made sure she made it home safe. I was scared shitless, no one touched me, that girl got raped and no one really cared. That's life I learned, no way around anything. First you can't help then you get blamed, fuck what a world.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Downtown lets go Downtown in a tuque

Tough night. It was like everyone in the city finally payed of their credit card dept just enough to go out for the first time since Christmas and the New Year. There is also this Arctic system moving in this week, it's suppose to be the coldest week we've had in Years. People stay home when it's cold. So tonight I kicked a couple of guys out of my taxi. I've only done that three times in my career. The guys get in. One slams his face into the window and laughs, their sketched out. The dude who hit the window then spits in the taxi, fucker. I told them to get out right then and there. Both of them were huge. They were like "Why?" I was like "You just fucking spite in my taxi, No! I can't take you" they got angry, I got scared. I even held my finger over the emergency button, but then I was like no I can't be scared of these massive shit head junkies so I just grabbed my key and stepped out of the car and onto Whyte ave. Whyte was busy tonight. I flagged down another Taxi for help. The other driver was old and looked scared of everything but he stopped. That's all that matters, the presence of others. There is strength in numbers. If I had picked those assholes up somewhere else, somewhere less public I would have had to drive them, actually stuff like that happens often but tonight I wasn't having it. I got out and the other driver stopped and the bastards got out. I though he was going to try to hurt me but he just slammed the door very hard, so hard I can still feel the dudes rage. If I could let my rage out that penis of a man would be under my car, but I refrain. So many drunks all over the city got in their cars and drove, the cops did nothing, neither did I. How many times can I call 911 there must be others out there.
There was this older lady later on in the early morning, she got in and told me her north side address. I talked to her about how the guy behind us was ridding my ass and he might run into us if he continues driving like an shit face. She told me that she doesn't even pay attention to the rear view mirror when she drives, that way the pressures of traffic don't affect her. I told her about all the drunks and the angry guy that slammed my door. She could not understand why people were so mean. I told her "because we let them. We just keep looking ahead instead of all around and the assholes get away with everything" She won't look around and take in the reality of her surroundings, neither will anyone else leaving me to be the only who cares that a very drunk person is Flying up jasper ave until someones kid dies. Then she'd call 911, if it was her son, but until then ignorance is bliss. Lucky bitch. I can't desensitize, It's starting to get to me, man our future is looking bleak, I mean mankinds, what well happen when the world is one big city, the criminals will control it, fuck they already do. If they didn't we'd be on Mars. Man when will we learn.
There was also this girl it was her twenty forth birthday, she must have been really loaded because when she got in she just kept crying, because it was her twenty forth birthday, I couldn't console her. I even told her that the reason that I was wearing a tuque was because my forehead had some serious pimple action on it. She payed me forty bucks to drive her eight bucks away, sad or not she rocked my world. Oh so did all my personal fares, thanks guys and gals, you know who you are.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Big Zits

Friday ladies and gentlemen is by far my favorite night. Except I like to party. I never get to party anymore, the money is too good during the weekends. So tonight there was Vomit. Yes this is the first time since I started writing the blog that someone tossed their cookies, Blew chunks in my taxi. I picked them up at the empress, a nice small club where scensters go. So I pick up three people. One dude sits up front and a girl and a guy sit in the back. They enjoy the ride, I can tell they keep saying how nice the leather seats feel. The seats are plastic, but hey who am I to tell them. So I get these kids home and while I'm waiting for the guy in the back to pay me he explodes. It looked funny he was just sitting there, and then all of a sudden he barfed all over himself, mostly. Then he just sat there like he had no clue that he just throw up all over himself. Then the second wave of vomit must of hit and his cheeks filled up. I was like "open the fucking door and throw up outside." He was slow but he did it barely. The girl sitting next to him got sprayed so did the nice leather seats. I gave the kid a box of kleen-ex and some Windex and told him to start cleaning. He did, he felt bad. While he was cleaning it up he told me he was lactose intolerant, who fucking cares what you are just keep cleaning. If someone makes a mess that I have to clean it's a sixty dollar charge, but I would rather never make my money that way. Later in the night I picked up these two young girls. One was engaged, but just broke up with her man. She was looking for someone to take home. When I got them home they payed me, but as I reach for the money the girl with a ring on her finger gave me a kiss right on the mouth. I wasn't expecting that. I kept getting dirty text messages from her throughout the night. I understand that sometimes people do things that they don't expect when there is alcohol involved but I looked like shit tonight, I have these huge pimples on my forehead. I guess I can't complain.

Friday, January 25, 2008

What middle Eastern Country?

The Thursday, what can I say? My income was a joke. Ha. Who cares? So tonight I drove this guy that lived in Mexico the northern part. He knew the area that I went to school in western new Mexico. That was strange because most people that I drive have no clue about places that I lived. There was also a blind lawyer, man if there was ever a man that I want on my side it would be that guy. He might have been blind but the guy saw the world through intelligent eyes. There was another guy that lived in the middle east, a nineteen year old, drunk and mouthy. He just came back from living with his mom in Qatar. He was an arrogant son of a bitch that kind of scared me but I think I understood his anger. I lived in Riyadh the capital of a middle eastern country, when I returned to Canada no one really understood me. I had an advanced sense of cultural being. This sense was something that I was proud of but no one really gave a shit about it, this frustrated me. This kid was kind of in the same situation, I think I helped him feel better. Do you know how? By telling him that no one knows the truth about anything no matter what they think, that includes me, fuck am I ever an ignorant prick, but I've seen a lot of shit, but fuck I bet you the blind guy sees more then I ever could.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

You're not Jesus You Know

Tonight a Saturday night, was cold again. The cool weather keeps a lot of people at home, but not all of them. The night was uneventful at first. I drove lots of my own personal clients. They're fun and they are probably the reason I feed my baby so well. The night got crazier the deeper it sank into morning. While I'm driving I have my fare share of time to think about everything. One thing that always seems to bother me is that even though I live in cold ass Canada there is nothing that separates my country from the USA. To all those of you who don't agree here is my little test, imagine this. Ten Canadians standing in a row, now imagine ten Americans standing in a row. Now what are the Canadians driving? shit the same thing as the Yanks.(Albertans drive even bigger trucks then the average gas guzzler type in the world, it's horribly bad here). What shoes are the Canadians wearing? that's right the same sweat shop made shoes as the Americans. Not enough, one more, how about those Canadians what's in their garbage? That's right people, the same fast food, chocolate bar fatty fat shit as the Americans. Canada looks and feels American, except of course for Quebec, they have some culture there, and smaller cars too. Aaaa I just wanted to get that off my chest. If you don't like what I just said go drive your massive 4by4 off a cliff, or better yet run it into another huge truck , that way you might help get rid of some of the ignorance in this nation. Alberta, my province is the worst culprit of this type of mentality and behavior in North America. Hey who cares though?
Tonight it got busy toward the end of the night. My cell phone rang off the hook. So this one time I answer it, it's this women that I drove earlier in the evening. She tells me she's at a bar on the east side of Jasper ave, I tell her I can meet her in ten minutes. So I cruise up to the pub, there is hundreds of people that are all hailing me frantically, trying everything for me to pull over for them, legs out some tops up (in the cold ) but I don't pull over I promised this women I would pick her ass up. So I get there and call her. While the phone is ringing I can see people spot me from other bars, they all start running at me. There is no answer on the phone. Some of the people who want a taxi start knocking on my locked doors. I'm shaking my head no. No one cares more and more people surround my car, some start to hit it trying to get me to open the door (it's crazy in Edmonton during the bar rush, good money though). I would not have stopped in such a place if it wasn't for this bitch who wasn't answering her phone. I hang up on the voice mail. "Fuck" there is at least ten to twenty people that want in the Taxi. Who do you let in? No one you have to drive away, If you even open the door there will be a fist fight within a matter of seconds, It might even involve me for being such an ass and tempting all these kids in the cold with a possible taxi ride home before they get hypothermia. One of the dudes who was being pushed up against my passenger side window, kept yelling "you're not Jesus you know" that made me laugh. I drove away with no broken car parts. Lucky! I picked up the next girl I saw, she was standing in the -25 degree weather with bare legs and a short skirt she looked cold, (later I realized she was just angry she lost a cell phone or something) she was nice she shared the taxi with two young lesbians paid their fare and tipped me thirty five bucks, she was my best fare, "hey lady thanks" she was also a little crazy but that's what makes my job so exciting. While driving her the lady I was suppose to pick up at the pub calls, "where are you?" I almost tore her a new one, but I was polite and told her that I had left because she did not answer her phone like a good passenger. Fuck her. I did my job, she was probably giving some dude a hand job in the can. If there was more I can't remember.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Frozen Spit Balls

Thinking thinking thinking about what I should write about. There was the working girls, I have driven them before and written about them. The two are both still teens. I found out that one likes to sit at home and puff the refer and only the second one works at the infamous massage parlor. She also does videos, porno. That was a real eye opener, I never dreamed that in my life I would get to know a porn chick. She's cool. Totally not what you would expect, but who is? This girl is not a drug addict, other then the refer. Weed in Canada is tolerated to an extent, prostitution is 100% legit, as long as you follow some crazy rules, like it's in a massage place. My fare is always so good to me, meaning she takes good financial steps with me to ensure quick and prompt service every time.
I have other fares who pay me extremely well , they know who they are they call me at least once a week I love them all. Most of them are good people, hard working guys and gals who just want to get to the bar when they feel like it not when some shitty cabbie thinks it's time to pick them up.This is how my shpeel sounds like, first I hand them a card that has my name, number and blog address them I tell them "I can't guarantee that I'll pick you up, but call me and tell me where you are and I'll do my best, If I say I'll be there I will in ten to fifteen. If I say that I can't I won't." I noticed I have lots of personal fares. They all rock because they always show me the love and not one of them has ever threatened to stab me.
There was nothing much that happened tonight, there was the girl who was on her way to a mans house at four in the morning, I asked if he was her dude, she said "no he has a girlfriend, but she doesn't care" I don't believe that shit. Unless of course she's a hooker. Oh to all you guys that wanna hear about Edmonton, it's fucking cold. To all you guys who know nothing about the cold in Alberta, it's so cold here that when I spit outside the window of my moving taxi, it freezes so fast that if I tried to hit someone they would get hit with a little frozen spit ball, (I don't spit, not my style) but if I did I could probably knock an eye out. -35 degrees Celsius with wind chill, man I wish I lived in the Tropics.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I started to wear a seat belt

No Vomit

Ha what a night. Made almost zilch at the start. Worked my ass off for jack shit, until I picked up this young dope dealer. I know him, I've been driving him since my girlfriend was pregnant. He has always taken good care of me and he has never used me to sell drugs. He only calls me for a ride home. Well, I like him no matter what he does. Call me a hypocrite. He has never once been anything but a good client that calls me when he needs a ride. He has started working legitimately, and that makes me happy, he's young and I know he can make something of himself cause even though he is a real gangster he is also not the average gang member. I wish him the best, and I'll probably see him soon. I gave him my blog address, I hope he isn't hurt that I wrote about him, I would never say a thing about him to anyone in the real world.
There was a guy today, a punk, who got in and said his name was "Phil" then a big burp "Collins" that mother fucker stank. Lots of nice people tonight, these two teacher ladies that were so hot, I wonder if their grade four students have a clue how lucky they are.
Well I'm off to Vancouver with my son in about and hour so I got to cut this one short. I love you guys and gals so rock on and stay safe. Oh and yeah there was no vomit, not yet. Cross your fingers.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Would you sleep with someone who's married?

My Saturday had very little to say. Money was O.K but the night was all around slow. Who cares? Yeah Yeah. There was this one women who was going pretty far. She gets in and right away says "Your a guy right?" I was like "Yeah" then she went on and asked me what she should do. There is this guy she works with that she has fallen in love with. "He understands me and cares for me so dearly" she starts telling me. So I'm like "whats the problem?" and she says "well I'm recently divorced, two kids and he is going to be getting a divorce and he hates his wife." So the dude is still married and this lady still wants to jump his bone. I told her to let love take its course, not to rush the guy but if he and her are meant to be it's going to happen naturally. She did not like my answer, you know what I should have told her, the next time you and him are together at work go down on him. That would most definitely solidify the relationship. Hahahahahahahahahaha
My last fare was a bunch of natives, scary gang member types, the Algonquin Motel. I drove them and did not even flinch, most people would be scared in that situation not me.
Oh I just remembered, on Friday night one of my fellow taxi guys had an emergency, meaning he pushed the Taxi panic button, I was across town tonight but I always help when I can . Later on in the night I saw him and asked what happened, he blew me off. Then started talking to another driver in another language. What an ass I though to myself, if I pushed the panic button I would have had a good story for all but this guy just kind of waved me away like I did not deserve to know, I walked away annoyed. Well tonight there was an accident and guess who it was, accidents suck and I hope all is well with everyone involved but I wounder if fate would have thrown the man a different pitch if he had told me the story. Mmmmm just things to ponder.

Friday, January 11, 2008

half a box of smokes

Typical Thursday night except there was almost no business, I made some money but trust me if I told you guys how much you would stop reading my blog. There was one guy I drove to Sherwood Park who tipped me twenty five buckaroos. O and there were the two musicians you gave me a half a pack of smokes, except when I looked inside it was some strange green herb. I don't smoke cigarettes so I gave the pack to a bum at the gas station, he was pretty happy. Stinky herbs. Mmm really you guys nothing much to say. I drove a girl who worked with my brother, one thing I can say is that we live in a small world. Brother if your reading LOTs of people know you, but now they know you as the taxi drivers brother. That's right big guy I am the man. O.k enough of my bullshit what can I say about tonight. Tonight my second biggest fare was from a bar that was having something like a wake for a student who hung himself. Sad. The two were crying in the back of the car. Young people should never do that. Alcohol was involved, awful. The thing is who is anyone to judge weather it was a bad thing. The kid did himself in, no one really will ever know why. Even if there is a suicide note what can it really say. All I know is that he left people who loved him behind, they were mourning his death by going out and celebrating their lives. Good on you. The girl I drove that knew the guy said she thinks she believes in God. I told her that I do. Why? because it makes my life fuller in a strange way. Like there is more to life them meets the "I". Who knows? I know, no one. Thats it, so now I know and get to go on living while knowing. Knowing what? no fucking clue, get it? yeah it's nice. Suicide is an option we have, do animals commit suicide? Sure I bet some do. I wounder if it's the same as when humans do it? Who knows? Oh yeah God maybe. Right. Wrong. Fuck!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Loaded Cabbie

Another new post. I Got drunk again. Took another taxi. The driver was not truthful. He showed me a fake Identification, then after my interrogation he told me the truth. Two friends of mine were in the car. Was I a drunk ass, Or what? The Driver Knows.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Learn CPR trust me you might need it one day

This post is so unreal most people will not believe it that's O.k cause I know that there is not one word of a lie in it. I'm going to start with destiny, last night I saw a group of women walking up Whyte ave, they were not dressed for the minus seven degrees Celsius. You see in Edmonton minus seven means short sleeves for some people, that is until they need a Taxi home and then they're standing by the side of the road freezing. Wishing they had a jacket and they would do anything for a ride. Well I saw this group of girls, looking good but none were wearing a jacket, one stood out and in my mind I thought "what a dumb ass". I called my girlfriend to bitch about how women dress to impress, and how that seems to make them really dumb looking. My level headed lady told me that maybe their jackets were somewhere else and their just to drunk to wear them. I though that was bullshit, the girls just want to look good. Well anyway later in the evening I got a flag, completely random, and as fate would have it it was the one girl I thought should have worn a coat. When she got in she had a jacket, I was wrong. I judged her before I knew the whole truth, I do that sometimes, and destiny threw that in my face I admit it, because the girl also gave me a fifteen dollar tip. I gave her my blog address, Please if you read this don't be angry you rocked.
It was quiet tonight at first. So when I got a flag from the downtown to the north side I was happy . A couple of kids. They sat in the back and made out the whole way. I thought that the guy was in, but when I arrived at the destination she told him to go home. To bad so sad, it happens, means a bigger pay out for me. The guy got in front and told me he lived in Morinville a small town about thirty kilometers outside of Edmonton. Nice a big fare on a slow night I thought. The kid was nineteen and in the army. He was here just to visit his family. A good military man. I liked him. We talked during the twenty five minute ride, but about three quarters of the way to the kids house he started feeling sick. This is normal. I asked if I should pull over he said "no". So I kept talking. He stopped talking back. Weird. I was on a long dark highway about ten minutes to anywhere. The guys head was hagging there like he was unconscious. I know drunks like I know the road this guy passed out funny. Then I heard him spit up a bit, so I said "if you wanted to throw up I would pull over, no problem" no response. I turned on my interior light , the mother fucker was blue. Fucking blue, no fucking joke, panic set in. I was nowhere near anywhere, there was no way to turn around without getting stuck in a ditch and my nineteen year old passenger was unconscious and turning purple. I kept driving, I started yelling "wake the fuck up you mother fucker, please wake the fuck up" nothing, I reached over and tried to find a pulse, nothing. I jerked him, I shook him hard, nothing. FUCK me. The whole time I was thinking that I can't write that someone died in my taxi in my blog, but this guy was fucking dead or dieing. He wasn't breathing, I learned CPR when I was a kid, I thought fuck man I'm going to have to pull over and give this guy mouth to mouth resuscitating. I was in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, scared, with a blue nineteen year old dieing or dead kid next to me. I was still moving, panicking, I was trying to wake the kid up but to no avail. I started beating on his chest about a minute after I turned on the light. I beat his chest like I knew what I was doing and then bang His eyes shot open and he started breathing, barley, his eyes were rolling around in his head. He came back, I just kept yelling at him "talk to me mother fucker, you died or something, did you take any drugs , are you epileptic , what the fuck is wrong with you?" He couldn't really speak at first, but then he came too, he was sweating, I told him he had to go to the hospital. He said "no, look ahead were almost in Morinville" I said "dude you were not breathing, something fucked up happened to you" he did not believe me. He still was all sweaty but he knew what was going on , except he thought he was fine. Fine my ass. I told him to let me speak with his parents when I got him home. Of course the folks were not there. The guy stumbled to his house, sweaty and gross. I swear to God on my life his heart stopped in my Taxi and he did not want my help. Fuck I gave him my number and asked him to call me, or leave a comment on my blog. I hope to hell that kid is o.k. Even though he made it home, there was nothing I could do. I don't know jack shit about Morinville. I drove back to the city worried, I radioed dispatch to tell them what happened. No one cared. Hard Fucking Core, not one word of a lie, I know this might be hard to believe but man it happened.
My last fare was a half German Half Native women, supper hot, super nice. She only wanted to go a few blocks, so I told her my story and drove her home for free, she listened to me. Tonight was unbelievable I know. Fuck, I hope you wake up tomorrow kid.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Vardenafil Hydrochloride Tablets Anyone?

What a shitty Friday night, for money a least. I made jack shit, not even two bills. There is a good reason for that, I'll write out the night as it went. My first interesting fare was a couple of sweet ladies, one of them told me that she got fingered in the back of a taxi by an ex-con. She also told me that he was one of the most thoughtful lovers she ever had, that's nice isn't it. I had fun driving them. Then there was the gentleman that had prostate cancer. He told me that when you get prostate cancer your prostate stops your testicles from producing the hormone testosterone. Hence the man had issues with achieving an erection. So he had a special helper. His doctor gave him many samples of this drug Levitra. He also had samples of Viagra and Cialis. All drugs used to give you a boner (his term, but it's accurate) , guys at least. This guy also was hurting for cash, so he takes his E.D pills to the bar with him so that women will buy him drinks in exchange for a little help for their male counter parts. Cool. Old ladies buying drinks so that their old fart husbands can bang them at the end of the night. That's a good way to throw whiskey dick right out the window. He tipped me with a free sample, what should I do with it? I don't want to take it because I just might explode. Awe, not a pleasant thought. Anyone if you have an erection that lasts over four hours see a physician right away, trust me I'm reading it right off the box. Then there was a guy, short fare. I shot the shit with him for a while then he told me about a blog he was reading. The blog was about a taxi driver in Edmonton, he said he heard about it from a guy in Vancouver, who thought that it was a good way to stay in touch with what's happening in Edmonton. I told him it was me. So hey dude if you're reading I wasn't joking I'm the author of the Blog. Yes that sure did make me feel good. A little recognition goes a long way on a night like tonight. He made me feel almost famous. So tonight I made jack shit. The bars were quiet because most people spent their money on new years eve and the holidays, that's understandable. So around two o clock (the bar Rush) I picked up these two dudes. They were cool kids from BC. I was happy to drive them, but on the way I got a flat tier. So instead of raking in the cash I was stuck changing a tier. FUCK! At least the two young guys I picked up helped me. Thank you guys. They were upstanding citizens, rare in a big city late at night, I got them home for free, they deserved it. I would have taken them out for a burger or something but my finances would have plummeted even lower then the bare minimum. I hope that Karma looks after them because I'm serious these kids were to good to be true. Thank you. That's about it, no money, a flat tier and a box of pills to keep me going all night. Don't you wish you had my job?

Friday, January 4, 2008

There is so much that I didn't actually write in this Post

The night was good, no money, fun and relaxing, like the yoga playing on my T.V. I got a Tip from a personal client, "inhale aaaaaaaaa" something I think you have to understand. Tonight is also a night that I forgot to wear the nicotine patch I've been wearing on and off over the past year. I need the patch, I love to smoke. I let people smoke in the Taxi. People who smoke love it. I don't care just show me the money. I smoked since I was 11. I stopped last year, smoke doesn't bother me when I'm wearing the patch, tonight I took a drag of a smoke. One puff, it hurt my throat. It still hurts.
It was a good night, dead but I was able to pick up several groups of my own personal clients. The first fare was a lady who was freshly single, she was hardcore cool. The first time I drove her was to a Gothic club, she was mysterious, I'm sure I haven't seen the darker side of her but she has one, I bet you it's weird. Then there was a couple of teens, they use me, they go to the stripe club and back. They take the best care of me its always a pleasure driving the two. Then there was the last two teen girls, Sherwood park good fare. One fell asleep the other chit chatted.
There was the two guys who flagged me down I picked them up at the purple onion. Coke, Coke, cash and smoke, with a thousand bucks to spend on a women from 311-girls. A thousand bucks. They were racist and drunk but they paid me. Aaaaa the radio was good to me, this girl who had fetal alcohol syndrome head banged with me to the Smashing Pumpkins. It was good. Relaxing no stress.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Fire Cracker Midnight Time

Happy New Year to all the good people of the world. A crappy new year to all you evil assholes of the world. I drove lots of people who asked me to mention them in my blog. There was the girls who told me that their sister is going to get hitched and she has changed. There were the girls whose taxi ditched them and I picked them up. There was more if I missed you sorry there were at least 75-100 people that I drove tonight and for all I know no one will read my awesome blog. To those of you who don't know I give my blog address to people who are really drunk, so I don't expect very much out of them. I do appreciate any one who actually reads my posts. Thank you all.

How did I ring in the new year. Well Twenty minutes before midnight I got a fare, two gorgeous Brown girls, (that's what they called themselves) they were loaded so I'm guessing they were not Muslim . They needed to get to a bar across town before the clock hit twelve. They said there would be a good tip in it for me, so I hauled ass, on some of the most slippery frozen roads in the world, but the ladies made it. Yes! fifty bones in fifteen minutes. Not bad. My next fare was from a motel called the West Edmonton Motor in, sleazy? Yes! I got there with two minutes to spear before the New Year. Waiting for me was yes, an old (36) hooker. Her Date was done with her so he kicked her out into the cold. We rang the new year in together, I drove her to a sleazier motel downtown, while she sat in the back sneaking crack hits. It was the beginning of a new year, I wasn't going to start it by kicking someone out, so I pretended it didn't happen. Sometimes if you can't be ignorant you have to pretend. It's painful, but what would be worse stopping in the middle of a slick road and demanding someone to stop what they're already doing, plus get paid, plus try to enjoy the fireworks displayed right in front of my windshield. She did that while I commented on how nice the light show was this year, she thought I did not realize it but I did, for you guys. I dropped her off, and even though she did not want to pay me with her own money because her next date was suppose to pay she did and I did not have to wait to see the asshole whose dick she was about to suck. Yes! that's awesome. Other then that it was a spectacular new years eve. I was given a beautiful rose by a really nice little lesbian. I did not see a drunk on the road until the end of my shift, so he must have been half way sober, way to hold out till the end.
I made a killing, so when I went to refuel I tipped the attendant ten bucks and the bum outside got another ten . I felt generous. The beggar said it was for food but we all know that crack only eats at your soul it doesn't feed it.
You guys I write down all my horror stories to vent , it helps, but most of the folks I drive are sweet innocent good people looking for a fun time, someone to shot the shit with and someone to listen to them on their way home. It's the best job I ever had, and the most interesting view of our worlds psyche I've ever seen, I love all the open and honest people I meet. They tell me about everything from their sex life to their dead wives, it really helps my life tick by with an amazing kind of stride. Peace and love to all stay safe this year and tip your taxi driver.