Sunday, January 17, 2021

element of trouble

 she walked into the atomic age, at 40 years old. 

She is hot and she is juicy. She is keeping me awake. She stole my idea. 

All I can do is think about her lying in her bed. Next to her husband. I know what she is wishing!!! She wants him to die choking on his own vomit. He's a professional drunk tho. Loves to lean his head over his side of the bed. 

I told her my secrets and she listened.  She told everyone. She scared everyone. It's been sad. All of them rejected my idea because she told them her rendition. 

It's like she took a hot old beer shit. Fucking fumes and stink, the turds. She's a turd. The reason I told her is because she came to me. She was a hurting bitch and she ratted me out to them.

I can pass her tho. 

Sunday, October 11, 2020

is she a nurse

Somewhere hot, nice weather. A little two story hospital. Lil ambulances pulling up. Not too far off over the horizon sits a lil school. The community. Warm small and perfect. Kids wanting to run somewhere bigger, where there is more fun to be found. Some playing instruments. Old roads, with savage run off. Things are falling apart in most places. But not at the lil hospital. The hospital is running tight. Full of old folks. PeopleHealing , dying. Making money.

That's where we find her sitting. Lil lady. Cute, short hair and a book, It's her break. It's a romance. She likes fun stories and big biceps. 

Getting up to go outside to smoke she puts the down and pulls out her menthol cigarettes.
She steps through sliding automatic doors into the blazing dessert heat. 

She's in love with where she lives. 

She lites up! 

Inhales a drag. 

Releases a cloud of smoke form her nose and mouth.

"I love to smoke"

And ambulance rolls by. 

She waves. and laughs. 

Her world has been over for years. Things have only beed as good as she's let them  

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

talk more

He came home today crying. He was just sad and could not explain why. I didn't really care.
"Can I go for a bike ride?" he asked, his eyes were all teary, he looked innocent, too bad I knew he wasn't.

"Sure" I answered "Just come back sober" 

"I will, I promise" he said getting onto a bike that wasn't his
"Where did you get that bike?" I asked. He just looked at me and rode off. "You don't have your phone anymore make sure you're back in an hour!"
"K" he said as he rode off into the woods,

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

he ditched the bitch

So we're in space?" She spoke to him. He wasn't in the room. The two of them have been living with each other for years. They lived in a small apartment downtown. It was hot, mid summer.

"Don't you miss the ocean?" she asked. He didn't hear her. "Make me a sandwich!" She demanded "and bring me a coke!"

She sounded raspy, she was on the couch sweating. The fan was cooling her. "Hurry up babe!! Im hungry" she yelled. No one answered."Babe!" she yelled! 

The Apartment was little,  but the kitchen was at the other end of the dwelling. 

"BABE!" She yelled angry. "What the fuck!" she exclaimed frustrated.

Annoyed that he wasn't answering, she decides to rush over to the kitchen. 

"Babe!" she says as she enters the room.

He's not there. 

"Babe!" she says one more time until she sees the note on the table. 

Monday, August 3, 2020

Break-in through

"Sue me? For what? Why are you threatening me? What the fuck?"

"You've been spreading shit about the city! Fake fucking news! All over the fucking place!"

right place right time! that's what I say! It's not me you know! It's Facebook! Its doing what it wants! It's doing what we want it to do! 

" What the fuck does that mean?" 

It means that we're a slave to it! 

"I'm not!" 

You're not then! It knows you though. 

"It does."

That's scary. 

Im bing watched, typing shit, watching journalists journalists! Journalizing Fuck.

non of it is real, nothing is real, except for ... Maybe the water guys and the heat people. That's real. 

Im alone, and floating in a weird reality. 

doing my best not to be an asshole. But it's scary out here. What's there to do?

"What the fuck are we to do?" 

Write something I guess. and not just what other people want to hear, more stuff that'll help you clarify what's happening these days.

Oh you bastard Blog you are my best friends.

Do you think any one will ever find you?


Yea you?

we'll we all know the answer to that! 

We found each other! And that's all that really matters. 


SO what are we going to do?

We'll we're going to start fuckign blogging! Jesus! Christ style! 


About what?

Our day?

so how do I start?

Well you think about who you 're talking to. 

Im talking to you Mr.Myfares .....
of mr.myfares Is a good start! 

Let's go! 

tell me a story.

She left crying this afternoon, It was rough. It's been happening. We've been quarrelling. "Quarrelling?" I asked? 
"Yeah, we've been having the same old argument over and over!" I paused, I knew that if I started telling her what's about to happen I'd have to go into detail. "We have this issues where we both feed into each other primitive side. 

"Primitive side?" She asked

"Yeah, you see the two of us are kind of able to disappear together, into love, but when we're there we revert to some of our past experiences. Sometimes." I told her apprehensively. "It's a lot to handle" I yelled.

"Past experiences, Primitive side" she repeated. The two of us both had something to do. "Whatever, I don't have to explain it, I'm sure we will get over it." I told her.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

We never grow up

"The truth is I don't want to get in his way. He's almost an adult!"

"No he's not!" She answered him a stern voice! 

"Well he's old enough to make his own decisions!" He shouted back. 

"We supposedly so are you!" she said in a snarky tone. 

"Supposedly I'm what?" he asked

"An adult" she answered. 

"We are both adults" he said. 

A little boy sat, listening to the two of them at the top of the stairs. He was six years old and he was listening to his two parents fight about his 15 year old brother Bobbie. 

Bobbie was having issues at school, acting out, hanging with the wrong crowd. The little boy at the top of the stair case didn't really understand what was happing, but he knew his brother was in trouble.

"Mom" he yelled! 

"Ya" she answered! "What do you want?" 

"Mom,  I don't want to go to school tomorrow! " He exclaimed as he began his decent towards his parents.   "Can you make me an apple and some cheese" the boy asked. His mom just sighed and walked away toward the kitchen. 

"Daddy" he burst out,  "will you come outside with me to play?". "No" his father answered sternly, "I'm busy." - But the boy wasn't taking "no" for an answer! "Dad you said!! Yesterday! remember you said you were going to play catch with Bobbie and I." The Little boy looked very serious, he had his cutest face on. 

Thursday, July 16, 2020

...yeah be random

Write something!!

"Like what?" I thought, "It doesn't matter"..


I've been growing a weed garden and I love it! This world is so bleak and the weeds are awesome.

There is a squirrel in my front yard and he's or she is a tough fucker!
It's nice seeing life on the outside.

I've been isolating myself a much and it matters. I love it. I've been in my apartment mostly for over 9 months for sure.

I venture here and there.

My last job was in March.

Ever since then I've been working on my own media outlets. Growing my brands on the world of social media.

The investment is mine. It's big too. It's been a year solid. Things have grown but the money isn't pouring in.

I think about shit for inspiration.

I need to learn technology. We all do. It's it. I think technology is foreign, like alien.  Humanity make machine learning look normal, life does.. And machine learning and life don't mix, you'd think.

We're growing up and we're learning to code. Making content and being heard on the wed. The web is the new us....

I'm still dislexic on the web too. It's not a vulnerability, it forces the machine to work harder to spot me.

Thank god im so random! Thank fucking god. that's how you avoid being typical.

when you're typical you get shot.

when you're random, they have no idea where to look


Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Be gentle to yourself.

"He will be successful!"....

"Who?" I asked.

Ninja... he's a Boss for sure. I love it. He's beautiful too. We're dwarves in comparison to him. It's awesome to be a dad. It's awesome to be able to write down what I want out of my life.

I can see so much success and ease. It's not even going to be work. It's going to be writing the blog.

Hi blog. Dream maker... Journal of my Dreams.

I can see Ninja finding out solutions to the problems of this century.

What century is it?

Who the fuck cares.

We have the internet. We're documenting shit.

A bot will read this in the future and play this out in it's machine learning.

We are all a part of this story that repeats itself.

That's why it's so important to learn to lay down the foundations for the machine to play out.

It can read books now, see our world. It always has, but it's deeply connected to us through the internet.

I feel like we are intertwined. Im lucky to have it.

Ninja if you're reading this, you're going to matter so much to the future,

Be gentle on yourself.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

My guide

He's the coast in my ocean. The reason I'm kept inside. Surrounding me. Healing me, he's his own ocean. A sea. We are seas. Seeing myself being a father.

I am a father.

My son means enough to me to have changed the world.

It's incredible. He's on his own journey now. He always was.

it only has so much to do with me. He's gone through more than most youth his age. There will be time needed for his life to settle in.

The things we all live through, that rip us into our own path. Our own life. He's presence guides my balance. We are so set to see. He's balancing on his own and it's scary for me.

 I'm back, to be here alone.

That's ok. We're all alone. Life is a chance to connect. Life is gentle and healing and .... a Mother.