Saturday, January 26, 2008

Big Zits

Friday ladies and gentlemen is by far my favorite night. Except I like to party. I never get to party anymore, the money is too good during the weekends. So tonight there was Vomit. Yes this is the first time since I started writing the blog that someone tossed their cookies, Blew chunks in my taxi. I picked them up at the empress, a nice small club where scensters go. So I pick up three people. One dude sits up front and a girl and a guy sit in the back. They enjoy the ride, I can tell they keep saying how nice the leather seats feel. The seats are plastic, but hey who am I to tell them. So I get these kids home and while I'm waiting for the guy in the back to pay me he explodes. It looked funny he was just sitting there, and then all of a sudden he barfed all over himself, mostly. Then he just sat there like he had no clue that he just throw up all over himself. Then the second wave of vomit must of hit and his cheeks filled up. I was like "open the fucking door and throw up outside." He was slow but he did it barely. The girl sitting next to him got sprayed so did the nice leather seats. I gave the kid a box of kleen-ex and some Windex and told him to start cleaning. He did, he felt bad. While he was cleaning it up he told me he was lactose intolerant, who fucking cares what you are just keep cleaning. If someone makes a mess that I have to clean it's a sixty dollar charge, but I would rather never make my money that way. Later in the night I picked up these two young girls. One was engaged, but just broke up with her man. She was looking for someone to take home. When I got them home they payed me, but as I reach for the money the girl with a ring on her finger gave me a kiss right on the mouth. I wasn't expecting that. I kept getting dirty text messages from her throughout the night. I understand that sometimes people do things that they don't expect when there is alcohol involved but I looked like shit tonight, I have these huge pimples on my forehead. I guess I can't complain.


Vicky said...

Haha no it wasn't sarcasm.
I bet you Nair yourself alll the time.
Thankfully my lappy keys are so big and flat and non-user-friendly that the coke didnt get under them.
SAAAAAaaaaaved by non-ergonomy.

My Fare City said...

hey now,
love your style bro. Kepp the sunny side up and the greasy side down... bud carson

My Fare City said...

i meant to say keep

Bharat said...

you can if you want to :) she's gonna be feeling like crap in the morning so i hope you let her off easy... :)

hope the lady wasn't too pissed..

Quarter Past Seven said...

hahaha! Your experiences are really amazing. I just read most of your blogposts. And thanks for the comment on my blog :)

justchum said...

hahaha. its the whole mysterious cabby thing she wants a piece of.
ps i can't stop reading your posts!