Friday, February 29, 2008

There was some teenage innocents

Aaa a new week to talk about my crappy job. I'm joking this is the best job I could have dreamed of. My night was the cats meow. Big bucks. The guy at The Union, drunk as fuck, 28 years old has an old lady at home and great job and all he wants in life is a little kid. I told him I was a dad and the dude tipped me 40$, now that's a great tip. I drove a cop tonight, he told he was a cop as soon as he got in. I would have looked at me and tried to figure out weather or not I was a crooked son of a bitch. That's what most sober cops do when they see my young white ass behind the wheel of a Edmonton city taxi. They always end up liking me cause I'm honest and crack is something that I truly despise. I hate the pusher worse. Tonight I had a dude push some junk while driving with me. He got ripped off 2000$ by some black dudes that tried to run him over. The reason I was driving him around was because he was trying to get some fronts fast, so he could get back in the game. He got the fronts. He showed me the loot. Which I hate cause that involves me. Just because I can shoot the shit with anyone doesn't mean I actually like all the assholes that I drive. I'm so good at shooting the shit that the criminals open up to me against their better judgment, Dumb fucks. I told the cop that I saw the bags of drugs, and he said "welcome to my world" I should have told him to hang up his gun and try running the road with just a tank a gas and a couple of pairs of wheels. If I wanted to I could be a pimp, girls ask me to hook them up with Johns all the time, I could also push an ass load of blow a night but I don't cause I love being a Good Guy. You never know I might end up on the loosing end but at least I'll go down fighting for the right side, not the child molesting, crack smoking, coke selling, whore fucking rapists side. Take care of yourself kids, get fucked up have fun but don't step on the dreams of others unless they dream of stealing from you, then take them out at the knees.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Tonight there was a little zygote in my car (that means I'm gonna be lucky)

Tonight was good, almost all my fares were my personal clients. I'm getting to be so independent that if I decided to start my own company I would already have a stable clientele. So tonight if there was one thing I could say is that there is too many people calling too many cabs for one person. The bastards who can't wait for the first cab that they called and then they call another and another and another. That happens all the time, and every time I catch someone doing it I black list their number. If your one of those be careful cause I'm a nazi when it comes to assholes who call out a cab convention for one miserable mother fucker. Sometimes when I catch the culprits in the act they're hurting for a cab so bad and there is three sitting right in front of them and they can't get in cause they have sinned the ultimate in Taxi sins. The adulterous assholes try to lie their way in but not if my ass is working. They get black listed. Tonight I screwed many people over for fucking me around. It's not that cold, and I don't care if you're a really good looking chick with a short skirt and you're freezing if you tried to cheat my system to help yourself out selfishly I wish you a long walk home, cause your number is gonna end up in my companies black list and you're going to be sitting on a curb waiting for the small Independent taxi guy who is almost always at least a hour away. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA hey I gotta get off on something, If it wasn't for the black list I would be completely powerless to the ever growing ignorant population of taxi abusers. On a good note I drove a pregnant women, she just found out, I was one of the first to know, Lucky me.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Somethimes I think I hate

Friday was o.k. I wish there was something I could say that could prove to you guys that the world is coming to a bloody end. People are so empty. So tonight I picked a Guy up at On the rocks, "97st and 109a ave" he told me was his address. On the way the guy started telling me that he made 40$ an hour in some shit hole up North. That was probably true. So I get him to the destination in one of the worst places in the city. He starts acting like a reject, he can't find his money he wants to go inside to get some more. I ask for collateral. He gives me his license, that was a sign to me that maybe the bald twit would actually pay me. He goes inside for a long time and comes back empty handed. "We're going to the ATM my friend" he says while trying to get back in the car. I locked the doors not wanting this pile of shit in the car, but he is the guy that owes me money so I got to let him back in. He gets in and I do the dumbest thing I could ever do, I hand the fucker back his ID. We get to the store with the bank machine and he goes in. I'm on 118ave and 97st a place you go to get a 15$ blow job. Blocks and blocks of whore junkies. The guys inside working the ATM for a long time, meaning that he has nothing in his broke ass account. Then instead of coming back to tell me that he's out of cash the shit face just stands there with his bald ugly toothless face and stairs at me. Not moving, not caring knowing damn well I'm waiting for him. That's how he ripped me off, I wasn't about to go in there and get him, the police are too busy jacking their partners off to come help get this thief, so I just drove away, fuck that sucked. Then there was this Boxer, he is on his way to the Olympics 2010. His name was Chad Big..something. Well the only reason he got in my taxi was because he jumped in front of me, literally he jumped his ass in front of a moving car ( I was hauling ass). Him and his friends jumped in, Chad was so fucked up he wanted to kill, and he was big. I was lucky cause I'm a white kid and this boxer was on of the most racist people I've driven in a while. One of his friends from a small town in Ontario wanted to stop and get some chewing tobacco, I stopped at the same gas station that I got ripped of at 118ave 97st, there was this group of young Native girls hanging around looking for a taxi, while the guys were in the store me and one of the friends were trying to stop the girls from getting into the car. They were drunk and did not care that the car was taken, until of course the big racist boxer stepped out and almost started to beat the girls up. Remember this guy is possibly going to the Olympics, he's huge and he was drunk, his friend convinced him to get back in the car, the girls spit at him and my taxi. Their lucky he didn't swing at them, he would have killed all four thirteen year olds with one swing. On the way to his house he mentioned that it was his coach that taught him to hate "chugs" well I hope that coach gets taught a lesson. Then I drove this lady she was awesome cause even though she was very rich she was level headed. Her friend wanted to drive her home, but she was drunk and the lady chose me instead. One thing about this women was that she strongly believed that the world was coming to an end, she even got a tattoo of the Apocalypse, cool. My last fare was a group of ignorants. They took so long to get in my car it hurt. When they got in (two 18 year olds and 1 old fart) I could tell this old shit had been feeding them blow all night, he was an asshole to me cause he knew that I had more in common with the girls then he did. The one up front talked to me, she was blasted half way to the moon on Coke but she thought that she was the king shit. On the way I mentioned something about hookers and the one up front could not understand why guys do that. Pay for sex. She did not even think of herself as whore and I bet by the end of the night Sunny (the old fart) is gonna have his old impotent saggy dick in her dumb 18 year old trap. Ladies nothing is free, especially illicit drugs. She gave me 60$, a 30$ tip but she is still a whore in my books.

Friday, February 22, 2008

................................then I drove home

This was the worst night I've driven in months. Nothing good happened except a reader called me, the only problem was that I was returning from Spruce Grove. Mat I'm sorry I wish I picked you up tonight. I thank you for reading though and please feel free to call anytime. There was a also a message on my voice mail from a Calgary resident, I'm sorry we did not speak but you can call me anytime and if I don't answer text me, you know who you are.
My night sucked, I drove like eight people so there is nothing to tell. Readers I love you without you I would probably drive into.........

Monday, February 18, 2008

Family Day

Sunday night, when was the last time I ever wrote about a Sunday? I don't think I've worked Sunday while writing the blog. The On Going History of New Music is on at 9 pm, it is hosted by a dude named Allan Cross and it's the best show on the Radio, check it out on Sonic 102.9FM. If you don't live here Google it, it's awesome. Now about the night, there was nothing really special throughout most of the night. I did drive this women who worked at a massage parlor on 82ave. She was from Calgary, she had just lost her kids and she was trying to get back on her feet here in Edmonton. She told me a fundamental difference between Edmonton and Cow-town (Calgary). She said "In Calgary you got to hustle to get that ten bucks, but in Edmonton they'll stab you for five." Thats The way it is here, it's one of the darkest, roughest places in North America. If you don't believe me come down for a visit.
Tonight I drove another Global Citizen, this man travels the world for a living. He was a great fare to the International Airport. He told me that because of his life of travel he wasn't sure where he had a home. I understood that, I never really knew where I stood as a citizen until I realized that I was a Global citizen, I told him he was too, I hope he agrees with me. There is going to be more of us soon, I just hope it happens before mankind destroys the Planet. Stay safe and rock on. All my International readers your becoming more Global by just reading my life at night in Edmonton Alberta.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


Nice title, I hope those girls read this post cause I named it after their suggestion. (I'll do anything for a reader) Tonight was so crazy. It started up with this old lady, she gets in and says "it's my birthday." Me being the kind gentleman I am said "oh, you don't look a day over twenty five" she believed me, man I must be a good actor. It was really her forty third birthday. So she wanted to go to the Mayfield Inn on the other side of town, great fare, I'm good I got her there for twenty five bucks. On the way we got to talking. She told me that she has a good man that doesn't abuse her and a sixteen year old son that she smokes weed with. It was a good chat. I'm really pretty good at getting my clients to open up to me. So she gets there for cheap and of course she needs my number cause there is no other cad drivers as good as me in the city, I give up the digits. Well about half and hour later this womens calls me back panting and says "please come pick me up" I tell her "I'm close about five minutes away, are you o.k?" She says "I'm fine I was just running." I make my way over to the hotel, there is a bar inside and I thought that's where she was having her birthday shindig. I was wrong. So I get to the women and she is still panting, I'm wondering what's going on. She gets in and tells me "move take me back home." I said "that's strange I thought you're having a party. Why are you leaving so soon?" This is what she told me "Well I needed some extra cash and I use lava life an online dating service. My ad says I'm looking for generous guys. Wink wink." I started to get the drift but she kept talking "well I met this guy online and he said he was looking for a good time, he had lots of cash and his wife was left behind in New Brunswick. I met him and what a creeper. He was bald and ugly, he told me that he was attractive. So we made our way up to the bedroom and we started the date, he had such a tiny dink, well before I went down on him I asked him if he could get me a pop, while he was out I took two hundred bucks and ran." That's when I got the call. So I asked her if she ripped him off. She said "no I don't think he wanted to slip me the sausage, I just won't be there when he comes back thats all." I was starting to realize I had a bad lady on my hands. I asked what she needed the money for. She told me " me and my man (who according to her has a huge cock) are going to smoke meth and fuck like rabbits." Then I asked her "why doesn't your man, if he's so good, find a way to hook up the drugs, at least on your birthday?" All she could talk about was that he was a good man. Yeah right. That was an interesting start to a screwy night. Next was the asshole crack head. I picked him up on 82nd ave east of 83rd street. He took so long I should have ditched him but I'm a decent cabbie, I pick up people who call. He gets in, his face is black and blue. He tells me to go to Jet night club on 34th ave. I start driving, the dude was so messed up he was having trouble doing up his laces. I asked him what happened to his face. He said " last night I was trying to get a room at the Trailway motel and the bitch who runs it said no cause the last time I was there I caused some trouble, I told her that I got the money but she still said no. Well there was this kid hagging around there and he kept lipping me off so I put him in head lock and knocked him around a bit. Then the bitches son comes around and kicks me out, and as soon as I step out the kid and four of his friends bear mace me. I was stunned, and then they beat me with a shovel, that's where I got the shiner." Then the guy start digging around in his pockets and freaking out about how he lost his shit (crack) but then he found it and proceeded to fill his little pipe. He almost started smoking it before I asked him to stop. He said "it's pure you won't even smell it" I said "no." He told me to pull over, so I did, then he stepped out with one foot and took a huge crack blast. He felt better after that. He started telling me how big time he is and how if you don't go big you go home. Homes not that bad of a place I thought. So while he was all hopped up he started talking about all the things he steals and stole. "Once there was this Winnebago outside of the Value Village, a thirty footer, I stole it and made it one of the best cracker houses on the block, filled with drugs and whores" he said. This guy was starting to get a little psychotic, drugs do that, I dealt with him by not bitching about the fact that he skinged out on the fare by five bucks. At least he was out of my life. He did have five hundred buck worth of crack on him he told me and he was gonna finish it at the club. There was also this cougar, she was hot in her own way, man was she ever wasted, on the way to the after hours club she rolled down the window and just yelled at everyone, crazy for an older women, then at a red light she got the attention of the guy sitting in the truck next to us by rubbing her nipples through her shirt , the dude would not stop following us but they got to the Y after hours club safe and sound. Then there was the strippers, two strung out junkies. They wanted to go to Castle Downs Road and 100st and back (drug run) we waited at the 711 there for twenty minutes, them a guy in a Toyota FJ Cruiser came, took one of the chicks and left, he was paranoid. It took him forever, and while I was waiting with the one stripper I got a call saying my day driver was waiting for me. It was past 5am shit. When the girl called back I had to go and pick her up behind a church cause the slezzball coke pusher was scared to come back to the 711 on 100st so I went. On the way back I was moving fast, I just wanted to get the car back, I'm pretty sure the strippers did a bump while I was speeding them home because they gave me an outrageous tip. I got the car back, and the day driver was talking to another cabbie, he did not notice me return so I just got in my car and left. The night was long I just wanted to go home.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

When I was Seventeen I knew it All.

Friday nights are sweet. Maybe it was the burlesque dancer that showed off her costume. I'm sure that girl can put on quite a show. There was also just a lot of good people out tonight. My personals are always good. I did call 911 tonight on this street racer. I was driving up Belgravia off of fox drive when I wanted to do a lane change, so I do the usual lane change shoulder check and proceeded, but before I knew it an asshole going at least 160km/hr threw his vehicle in my way, I was lucky that me and the four people I was driving in the car managed to get out of his way, but then the truck he was racing almost killed us. Belgravia is a 50km/hr road. The assholes were forced to stop behind traffic at a red light. One of my passengers was so flustered that he wanted to go out and hurt these stupid kids. I told him to memorize the license plat number. We could only see one plate. So when we called it in I told the 911 dispatch guy what had happened and he laughed, and said "how could you read the license plate number if they were going so fast? Were you going that fast? Thats illegal." I had to explain to him that they were forced to stop and thats how I got close enough to see the plate. The cop was arrogant I wounder if he realizes that, the piece of shit should take his job seriously because I'm thinking I'm going to complain about him. All the calls are recorded and his attitude to me was like I was pranking him or something. I don't prank 911. He kind of shaped up when I told him I'm driving a taxi, some cops are just ignorant pigs, but not all of them. There is one other thing that happened to me tonight, I got a call from a personal client, he was in the passenger seat of a car that was being driven by an extremely drunk individual . He was also with two girls one of the two needed to go to St.Albert, I told them to get out of that car and wait for me. The drunk guy drove them to my personal fares house, stupid. I got there to drive the lady to St.Albert. My personal client came along for the ride. On the way to St.Albert I asked the girl how she knew my client, she told me that she had flagged him down on Jasper ave. So she got in a car with two guys she had never met, and the driver was so drunk he was bouncing off curbs. My next question was "how old are you?" she said "seventeen" I looked at my client with disgust. He picked up a seventeen year old off the street with a drunk guy. Both my client and this girl need to get their heads screwed on straight. The seventeen year old did not think she was engaging in risky behavior because she thinks she can handle herself in fucked up situations. So as we were driving to her house I asked her if she could tell me where she was. She had no Idea. I told her that if I dropped her off in the neighborhood that we were in at that time, she would not get picked up for a ride home but more like a ride to hell (if you get my drift), pimps and whoes. The young girl didn't care she thought she knew it all. Seventeen, I guess thats the only time in a humans life when we actually do know it all. Well I gave her my number and blog address, so that if she ever decided to jump into a strangers car she should try me first, I also gave her my blog address and told her to read it cause I was going to write about her. She might read it you guys, so please leave her a comment so she can read what you guys and gals think about her behavior. Peace, stay safe, oh and rock on.

Friday, February 15, 2008

DID YOU KNOW? Canadians are Hypocrites

The Alberta Tar Sands are the most destructive operation in the World. Canadians are selling mother nature out. We are worse environmental assholes then any other nation because we try to cover it up. My government is bad and it is a lier and citizen who don't agree with me are just part of the cover up. Fort McMurray Alberta, look it up if you've never heard of it. Toxic Tar Sands. You can see the lakes of toxic waste from space. God help us all, or teach the Canadian Government a lesson.

Slow and Steady Gets Home and That's Enough

My night was o.k tonight, quiet and simple. I drove several of my personals. Man if it was not for them the taxi biz would not support my family, so thanx all you personal fares I love you. The only exciting thing I did was this morning, I excepted a late fare thinking that whoever I was gonna pick up was going a short distance away. So I pull up to the house and of course it was a couple on their way the airport. This would have been great if there wasn't one problem Freezing rain. You see it was -44 last week and last night it was -1 and raining, makes for a skating rink. I was scared to go on the high way, but the look of the couple that was on their way to Paris when I told them that I might not take them to the airport due to poor road conditions made me want to take the risk. I drove 60km on a 110km highway, there were so many cars in the ditch it was frightening but we took our time and the two made it to the airport with time to spare. They took good care of me "thanks guys" and they were a pleasure to drive, not all people are that nice at 4:30 am. They liked my stories (even though most are horrors) and they had some interesting views on them. The ride back was scarier, traffic going into the city started really coming in from Calgary, most of those drivers did not realize that their cars were skating on some thin but slick ice, but I survived. Then while I was paying for my fuel my gas station attendant told me they were robed the night before. "That sucks" I said because it was one of the ladies first graveyard shifts and she had a Knife put to her throat. Rough as fuck. Imagine that. Well they were happy because the police had a four minute response time and the dog got a hold of a scent and they caught the mother fucker at his house money in hand. Yes, I guess the bad mothers don't always win.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

We all need to know

This weather is making me and many people around me feel suicidal. It's getting better as I'm writing this. Not much to say about the night except that driving conditions blew, most people were arrogant and my personal fares rocked. I do have one thing to say to a specific client, Go to the police, I believed you and it would break my heart if I ever met you again and you still haven't done anything. There is only so much time you have before the police can't build a case. You have my number, call if you ever need to talk. Man there is so much I wish wasn't real maybe one day it won't be. Keep reading people you might get tonights full story, it was sad and scary and there is nothing that I can really say about it, so back off. Yeah, you see what I mean the weathers been playing with my head so leave me a comment or else. Or else what? Shut the fuck up. Man good and evil, one speaks louder then the other but we all know which one to listen too, and if you listen to the wrong one, ha you're going to hell. peace and please always stay civil cause.........

Saturday, February 9, 2008

- 36 celsius Without Wind Chill, -44 With

Saturday was hot, Not. Fuck it was beyond cold. How can I explain the cold to you people who know nothing about it? O.k tonight for example, I had a drunk fuck get in at Cowboys saloon, the bastard kept talking about how rich he was, and all I could sense from him was that he had had a few too many beers. On the way he kept spitting out the window like a man raised in a barn. He was disgusting, but huge so he got his way the fucker. Well while trying to spit out the window the drunken fool would actually spit at the window. When I got him to his west-end palace he was unable to pay me, he left me his cell phone number, it was a bunk number but at least he was out and no longer spitting in my car like a mule, dirty F1 hybrid. So the spit, what happened to it? The second it hit the inside of the window it froze like in a freezer, but in the inside of my car. I just scraped it off, while watching the son of a donkey fall in the snow. Drunken fucker wasn't even wearing a coat, I could have left him somewhere else and the cock knocker would have been dead because of exposure within thirty minutes.
Tonight there was one surprise a young kid from Fort Mac, this kid is twenty two, makes fifteen grand as an electrician in Canada's hell every two weeks. Instead of being some asshole junkie whore fucker like so many of those Northern workers, this kid had some style. Sure he had some obnoxious bling, like a sixteen hundred dollar pair of shades but the kid had class. He wasn't an asshole twenty two year old, it's nice to see Fort Mac is not all bad, oh and the dude tipped me eighty bucks, all right.
Here's another fate story for you guys. Tonight I picked up this girl, I had some trouble actually getting to her because the apartment she lived in had two exits so we kept crossing each others paths, I almost ditched her, but we came together before I left and she made it to the club in time. Well later that night I received a dispatched call to a hotel, there I picked up a couple. The girl needed to be dropped off downtown and the man had to pick his girlfriend up right off of Jasper ave. After dropping the women off me and the gentleman got to talking about the dangers of being a cabbie, it was a good talk, when we pulled up to pick his girlfriend up she got in and woe and behold it was the girl that I almost ditched, she was like "Jacob" I was like "Corey" and I knew where to take them. What are the chances? Good, I guess.
You guys if you live somewhere where spit does not freeze to the inside of your car windows stay there, this weather is horrible, it makes it hard to believe in Global Warming. Plug in your cars if you are somewhere within this Arctic high cause if you don't the consequences are disastrous. Stay warm peace.

Friday, February 8, 2008

-40 tonight, and I'm working

The Oyster Bandit is on the loose

The Oyster bandit was in my car tonight, tonight being Thursday. This was an ordinary man that was in the company of others who had money but the bandit wasn't paying for his oysters. He gave me a can, and someone (Cam) decided to take them. I hope all goes well with the oysters boys. What do I really want to inform all you people about? oh yes I got it, The Stink. What is the stink ? Well kids thats an important question , especially when it comes to the stink. The Stink is the smell of a prostitute I think. Whenever I drive a gentleman that has recently used a prostitute, he has a distinctive odor. The bastards smell like he just fucked a street walker. The girls themselves smell too, but the guys seem to spread it all over themselves without even realizing it. If a man enters into my car and thinks I don't know he was just with a hooker, he's wrong. I always know. So tonight consisted of many hookers and Johns, they all stunk like that horrible stink. I had couple of native dudes get in at 3:30 am, I picked them up just North of Stony, the first guy got in and I asked him "whats up, where we going" like I always do. He tells me " Oh we just stayed up late watching a movie at a girlfriends house." I figured he was smoking crack. We had to wait for his friend, the friend showed up, but man he smelled like hooker. The fuckers were scary, their faces were all blemished from the crack life and probably AIDS or HIV. I got them home and they stiffed me a buck, fuckers. There was another working women that I drove, I picked her up at the Husky gas station on 107 ave 107 st. I was paying the attendant the fifty bucks I owed him when she came flying inside the store asking " are you for hire?" I said "yes" she was like "hurry it's important" she kept rushing me. The clerk looked bothered, he knows about the riff raft he works on on 107ave it's a tough area. The clerk even told me "take the cash up front", I listened to him. When I had the money we started to drive, she told me to circle the block a couple of times, she was either looking for the John she ripped off or the dealer she owes, but man the bitch was paranoid. The street walkers in the most part are broken people. They can't hold down a normal conversation and it's not because they are too messed up it's cause they don't know anything but a dick down the throat. Rough, I know. It's just that I try to speak to them like I do any other fare, any normal person but the hookers don't know how to react. Their conditioned to suck dick. The awful thing about that is that there is someone out there that was able to create that behavior, that persons name is pimp, and for all I know that's her dad. Rough, I know. So the next time you think you're pimpin smell the air around you, does it stink like fifty dudes blowing their load in one unwashed women, no then you're no pimp. Fuck who wants an oyster?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The pipes in my apartament are so loud I can't concentrate

My first fare tonight was a guy who just got his girlfriend pregnant, the dude was in his thirties but wasn't sure if having a kid was happening the way he had planned it. One thing I know for a fact is life can throw a mean curve ball, but a baby means you hit a home run.
Do you know what makes me feel old? It's all these young kids. hahahaha
That was a good one, no I drove a young girl she was in her early twenties. I told her that Nirvana was one of my favorite bands, the funny thing was that she just found out that Kurt Cobain killed himself, she though that Courtney Love did it or it was a drug overdose, No Kurt blew his head off, and I guess that young kids don't know about that stuff, I wounder what I don't really understand about the past? I bet way too much.
The end of my night was nice, one of my personal fares, we got to talking and this lady is so sweet I offered her a free ride she paid anyway, I don't know if she reads this stuff but thank you, you know who you are.
There was also the second last fare, there was four kids on their way to becoming dentists, I respect people who are able to get themselves educated, it's not that easy, but sometimes I feel like just some asshole cabbie, well I got to talking to the guys and I found out I went to elementary school with one of them, I remember him he was a really good athlete and now he's a few months away from being a Dentist, he read my blog, that made me feel good, A little less of an asshole cabby. Hey Greg you ever need to get a hold of me just give me a call, and if you ever need a ride you know who to call.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Ice Ice Baby

Saturday is always moving, tonight was no exception, except it was Friday. What can I say about Friday?, it's the start of the weekend and the end of the work week. Lots of people like to get their shopping done on Friday and Saturday nights. The thing is cab drivers love to avoid real work, like carrying groceries to someones door or helping an elderly person with a walker in the trunk to their feet, not most cab drivers style. So the start of most of my weekends is Safeway calls, and helping elderly women by driving them two dollars away, never worth it financially but always morally fulfilling, but morals don't pay the bills. I think thats why I'm stuck serving most of those types of clients by myself, all the other drivers avoid that kind of stuff like the plague. I picked up a lady that works in a half way house for handicapped males, she was at the Safeway, when I got to her she had already been waiting two hours. I told her that Mondays and Tuesdays are quiet nights, that if she wanted decent service to do the shopping on those nights. She already knew that, but the weather was impossible so she stayed home with the mentally challenged men. One of the guys she takes care of was with her, he might have had autism or something he was nice, imaginative. When we got them to their house (three bucks away) I helped carry the groceries to the door, the last load was carried by another man that worked there. The thing is while I was returning to the car from carrying the groceries inside the autistic guy was arguing with the worker guy about how some more stuff in the trunk was theirs, well the normal dude slammed the trunk and as he walked by me said "he thought some of your stuff back there was ours." I laughed thinking that the autistic guy wanted to steal my extension cord for the block heater. I took off to return to the rest of my night, but about and hour after the drop off I see a general message on the computer screen that says "green bag left in trunk" I knew it was theirs and I laughed cause the autistic dude was right but we ignored him. I should have checked the trunk before I let the other guy slam it shut, I usually do. I never got that bag back to that house, not yet but I will.
I had a scare tonight, actually I had lots the roads were dangerous, the cold is awful to drive in, the streets are made of Ice and people don't adjust their driving habits, they just drive like assholes. They weren't the real scare the real scare was these two guys I picked at New City Suburbs, I watched as one taxi driver denied them, that should have been enough for me to not except them but I let them in, and the moment they entered I knew that the ride was going to be painful, I just wasn't sure what kind of pain. They would not tell me the address another sign that they are no good. They told me that they're from New York and going to school at NAIT. There was one guy that was talking, all he could focus on was how he wanted to hurt someone, he kept implying that it's gonna be me, then the guy in the back asked "how many times you been robed?" thats an awful question to be asked when you're feeling threatened, it puts you in a panic. The Panic button in the car does nothing to relax you cause the guys are right next to you and your back up is nowhere to be found. Luckily they wanted alcohol and a liquor store was still open, I though if I could just get them out to buy booze and then while they were shopping I'd ditch them. The fucker in the back stayed inside the car, the violent one went in to buy the booze. While we were waiting for Mr. Violent to come back a bum walked up to the rear door and opened it, he leaned in and offered to sell the guy in the back some weed, four bucks worth to be exact, he as like "hey man, you smoke weed, I'll sell you this piece for four bucks, I need the money to buy a bottle." The dude in the back wasn't having it he just slammed the door on the bums face. Then Mr.Violent came out of the store, he was holding on to a big bag of booze, the Bum confronted him with the same story, except Mr. Violent started slapping him around. I knew that as soon as he finished fucking around with the Bum he was going to get in my car and try the same shit with me, so I started driving away with the other guy still in the back, I don' t kick people out very often, and I've never ditched anyone, but my gut was telling me to get the fuck out of there, so I did. The guy in the back was like "what the fuck are you doing?" I told him "get out, the rides free your friend isn't getting in the car and if you stay I'm taking you to the cop shop. He asked me why. I told him thats his friend is no good, the guy got out and I'm lucky nothing happened to me. But come to think of it I wonder what happened to the bum?
Lots of violent people on the streets tonight, if you did not stop for them they would kick your door or punch the window, it was scary.
Later I drove a couple, they wanted a hotel. I figured they wanted to fuck, but the lady told me that the guy just got paranoid and wanted to leave his house to go to a hotel. Strange. I figured they were smoking the crack, that causes paranoia, but no she told that they were just smoking weed and hash. What do you think? They ended up at the Edmonton Motor Inn, to smoke weed yeah right. I gave the women my blog address I hope she leaves a comment to explain that again. Hotel room to smoke weed in, hard to believe. Maybe the guy was scared his wife was gonna make it home before he was done smoking the joint with some women he met in the bar.
My last fare was to Enoch, a Native Canadian reserve, dangerous, except my fare was this little native lady, she was happy because she had a good night. The one thing that upset her was that she was going home to her man, "he's an asshole" she told me "he has two kids with me and he just got the neighbor, a younger girl, pregnant for the second time." I asked her how that made her feel she said that she was gonna stay with him because he won't leave her. I thought to myself neither would I, if I got whatever I wanted from one of my two wives, Some people get to have all the fun. The funny thing was that this guy gets his mom to pay all the bills, and because they live on the reserve rent in the apartment is on 200$ that's only $400 for one guy and two families, oh and mom pays the bills, what a fucking deal, I think that lady should leave him before he gets another women knocked up. Peace kids I'm done.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Bob Layton would Like this One

Sweet Thursday what can I say? This week was one of the coldest weeks of my life something like six consecutive days of below -30 celsius, that does not include wind chill, wind chill is the killer. Tonight was better, it snowed which means warmer weather. I drove lots of decent normal human beings but I won't focus on them, there were plenty of the other kind. First I want you guys to know about the West Edmonton Motor Inn (sounds good already I know) o.k so I get there and the night clerk can see me from his little window at the entrance, he waves me in and directs me to where room two hundred something is. He must be the one who called these three men a taxi. All three of the gentlemen are Native Canadians, or New Nation people, all three just got into my cab after banging a whore. "Did she wear you out?" the oldest one in the front seat next to me asked the two young ones in the back. They all laughed. "Was it a good night?" I asked. The old guy up front looks at me and says "I spent eighteen thousand dollars over the past week and I have no regrets". I bet you when he wakes up tomorrow in his scuzzy motel he'll wounder why he needed so much crack in his system, and then he'll realize that it's the only way he can go on living without feeling all that regret for spending thousands of dollars on whores, gambling and of course that crack. They were all laughing because one of the younger guys got the hooker to fuck him a second time for free. They said things like "Joey was good, good enough for a freebie" and they would all cheer. Joey probably has AIDS yaaaaa. These men sounded like they do this kind of thing whenever they have their hands in someone else's purse or wallet. They liked me, I let them smoke. They paid me what they owed at the end of the trip, it was somewhat of an eye opener.
After I dropped the Johns off I got a call for a women, Lilly or something like that. When I found her address I waited, she eventually came, when she got in she had the address written on a little scrap piece of paper. How often do you get in a cab and have no idea where you're going at four in the morning? So she gives me the address, just off of Stony Plain Road. I can tell she is a veteran street/escort hooker, I don't bother to ask what she does. Even though that's something I usually ask, makes for an interesting ride, the stories they tell. So I didn't ask her she knew I knew. So we drive to the address and when we get there the fare comes to something like six bucks, she pays me in loonies, I don't really care because some dude is approaching the Taxi. I take the money and the women gets out to greet her new love. I watch the meeting, it's funny because it's so cold here in Edmonton that the prostitute starts running for the door to the apartment building but the John says "no not there" and proceeds to direct the women into a car covered in snow. It's so cold here that the cars can't start unless the block heater is plugged into and electrical outlet, this car is dead, but private. The two disappear to molest each other in a small frozen car at four in the morning. That's Funny. I drove another hooker right after that, she hadn't left her house at all this week due to the cold, so tonight she had to work to get her fix, I figured because I dropped her off at a drug dealers pad, I've never seen a Hooker run so fast.
Last but not least, I stopped at and A&W at 4:30 am to get myself two mama burgers for four bucks (Don't judge me , I was dizzy hungry) I could only eat half of one, we all know why. So I finish my burger and start driving up Stony Plain when I see this young girl look at me like she needed a taxi, I missed her but I pulled around back to see if I could help her, "do you need a taxi?" I ask. "no, I'm working, wanna do some business" she responds. This girl was to young and to beautiful to be working the street corner . It was 165 street and Stony Plain Road, not a street frequented by hookers, usually. I said "no I can't sorry" I don't know why I apologized, but I just kept driving, thinking about how that girl did not belong there. Then I remembered my burger, the extra one, I though she might want it, if she' s hungry so I pull back around. Of course there is a big snow removal vehicle , the city pays millions of dollars to remove the snow and the damn snow removal guy was picking up the hooker along his route. Imagine that all you Edmontonians, I saw the guy who drives the truck full of snow pick up a hooker. I couldn't see the plate number cause as soon as he got her in he took off and all the snow in the back of the truck kept blowing at me making him invisible. Man thats insane.