Sunday, December 25, 2011

Batters up!

His face was red, it was cold outside.He thought of the two girls he just mangle, he was too jittered to talk about how he felt about what he had done. It started a week earlier. Johny was out looking for a good time. He wanted to enjoy his day a little deeper. School was becoming an easy place to slip a way from. Home economics wasn't doing it for him anymore.  He remembered looking out toward the city from his second story class room, "I need to feel that way again!" The girl behind him was listening to the prof reflect, "my husband and I had a hard time squeezing our second child into the budget but we did what we needed to."
It was three thirty in the morning in a late December, and the night was a smear. He stood at the side of the road, there wasn't one car in sight. "I hate this" his voice came out in whisper, the sweat on his face was beginning to freeze. "Let's not go that far!" her voice repeated itself in the back of his mind, over and over again. "Stop it!" he yelled realizing the drugs were going to wear off fast outside in the cold. The two girls were still there, they both left their homes with him that night. He remembered all the boys, "bring them out, Johny, you know they want out man!" He remember the way the girls giggled when he mentioned that the boys wanted to see them. They were younger then he was, and they were new to the neighborhood, their parents were poor, "our dad's looking for work" he remembered one of them saying.
The Taxi's light was visible through the snow, it was getting worse every second. "Stop" he yelled, as the Taxi rolled by. The driver looked worried, "Just get me outta here!" Johny yelled, his head wobbling.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Yoga is my Yoke! for Christmas and Thieves

The drive back to his house felt longer then usual. He pressed his little cheeks against the windows of the car. The glass was cold. His breath left a fog on the window in front of him as he exhaled. "Shanon?" his mother yelled "what's going on back there, you look sad." He pulled away from the window, looked at his mom sitting in the drivers seat. The traffic was bad, they were sitting in an idle, all he could think about was sliding in the snow. The whole afternoon was such a fun house.
"Mom?" his asked grabbing the paper she had on the seat next to him. "I wanna watch a movie tonight after supper." So did she, "Yeah sweetie that's such a good idea." she stopped behind a black truck. It was running rich, she stopped so close to it they were quietly breathing the stink. "It stinks mom, what is that?" he inquired, "It smells like gas mom." Traffic's slowly pushed forward and she gave the other car room to breath.
"What did you do at school" the question made him think, he thought of his dad, "Nothing! Mom?" he stopped to think about his dad some more. "Who's that guy?" his question peaked her interest. "that guy that came over, who left his guitar?"
That question calmed her and she answered energetically "Oh, that is Greg's guitar! You never met him? That's funny baby that you ask he's Bella's friend!" Shanon just sat in the back listening to Adel, "can I call dad when we get home!" Mom didn't really want to talk to him at all. "Yeah!" her voice whimpered as she reached into her purse and found her cell. "Call him now hun!" her fingers were already finding there way to his number. She placed the phone on speaker and handed the five year old the cell. "I wanted to tell you dad, that I have a guitar, and I'm a gonna watch a movie after we eat our dinner dad!" His little voice overwhelmed him. The joy in the sound of his little boys tone made him blush lightly. "I'm at school Shanon, but I wanna talk to you, are you in the car on your way home?" His question was deliberate, it was to his mother. "Yeah dad, mom just picked me up." He looked at his watch, it was five twenty two. "Did you have a good day at school?"
Shanon was looking out into the traffic holding the phone, his mom was listening, "Shanon" asked his dad, "He's not paying attention Gerald" yelled his mother. "Oh" Gerald's voice broke. They both laughed. "Is he cute?" he asked, looking into the night sky thinking bout the small piece of his heart on his way home. "You know it" answered the boys mother, glancing over at the boy holding the phone in the rear view.
"It's such a long drive home today dad" his yell made her realize that the snow was falling harder and harder, "It's snowing bad." Gerald could see that, "it'll be a while yet little one." he said. "I'm tired dad"

Sunday, December 18, 2011

record of heavy drum&bass for midjets that fly!

"So you think that people well change?" it was the question that he made everyone at the party answer. "Strange!" she said, talking to a stranger, the two women were standing on the balcony of the two story mansion speaking. "Yeah! I agree" They looked at each other. "I'm Melony!" said one to the other reaching her hand out. "Jessica, and yes it's been a pleasure, so what do you think of that little fuck out there?" They both stood staring down at the little man, "He's fucking repulsive!" Her voice was angry enough, that Jessica thought that Mel might have the audacity to do something gross to the man talking to the group of people under them. "Mel, you wouldn't spit on him would you?" Jessica knew that with a little encouragement she could have someone here to drop a bomb on the guy. "He's arrogant enough, you know, he just won't let go!" She stopped to think about it. "But no!" she exhaled in relief "I fucking know better then to spit on him." 
"Hey girls!" the voice came from below them, it was him. All they could do was look at one another, "You look beautiful ladies come down meet the public!" They didn't like it one bit, his asking them to come down and talk to the other. "What do you want us to talk about Fredrick?" Jessica asked, her long blonde hair reflected the sun. "It's lunch time girls, you should come down to eat to see what everyone's brought for us to share. "There is food?" Mel could feel her stomach growl, right then she smelt the aroma of some freshly back pastry. "Are they fucking baking?" she yelled, her blue eyes looking down at Jessica. "Wanna go down and eat Jessy?" Immediately Jessica's rolled back. "No, why?" Mel thought about her own question. "That's redundant. Whatever, Jessica let's go eat I'm hunger.!" Jessica sat and frowned, "Mel" she whined, "Don't fucking leave me for him, he's fucking nuts" her voice broke and Mel could see that her eyes were starting to water. "You're scared of him!" she yelled. "No" Jessica screamed.
"Ladies" he yelled from under their feet. "What's the matter, don't you feel hungry, you've been up there for such a long time." He stopped to breath and turn from them. Looking over the landscape the two could see the sun casting a shadow behind everything. He turned back at them. The sun warming the back of his head. "What's happening?" his voice was become sharper, her was beginning to feel the anxiety. "Mel, you're ready, go eat!"
Her stomach grunted loud enough to be heard by both of them, Mel laughed. "Jessica, what are you so scared of?" the question cooled her. "Scared?" Jess asked, " you think I'm scared?" Mel shook her head yes. "Yeah, yeah I do!"
They could hear him, he was holding his keys to the door downstairs, "What the fuck you doing Fred" asked Mel, she had to yell to make sure he heard her. "I'm coming up girls!" he said  just as he turned the key to the lock. Mel smiled hearing the sound of the door, it was familiar to her, she could feel it's weight. Jessica jumped the moment they heard it shut. "He's in the house!" fear was filling her eyes. "Jessy calm down, you can't be serious, are you scared of him like that" she could tell her questions were redundant, "Jessy you're fucked, he's not that bad!" she stopped "what did he do to you?" the question came as the door to the bedroom that lead to the balcony was being pushed open.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Chad Left his roll up the rim cup

 "What up Chad?" the man in the overalls felt cut off. "Who's this?" he stopped and looked, "Neil!" the two stood in the tim hortons entrance. "What's  up Chad?" Neil could tell that Chad didn't want to talk. "What's up?" then the girl walked and Neil understood. "Oh" Neil grunted "I see!" He looked at the pair and remembered the house off Groat road. "So Chad you still doing it?" he asked, Chad blushed and the girl looked disoriented. "How old is she?" he asked. "Nancey?" he answered pulling her in closer, smearing her across his work clothes. "What are you doing Chad?" she screamed. The three tables occupied by four elderly couples all looked over at the threesome. "Shut up Nancey and be a good girl!" Chad's voice let off that he was getting excited, the red in cheeks made Neil remember. "Chad let me go!" Nancey's face looked scared. Neil remember what he made him do. "Let her go Chad!" his tone echoed through the room. Even the kitchen staff were out watching what was to happen, Chad looked around. "Here take her" letting her go, her blouse was covered in what Chad had on his overalls. She ran to Neil, he grabbed her.

innate warship of monkey's from Texas

She actually recognized him first, "Hey," she spoke over the noise in the bar. "Hey, is your name John?" she was dressed in the tightest outfit, he could see ever inch of her body. "Yeah, that's me!" he smiled, he had forgotten her. "You still with that guy?" he asked. He remembered that she was in a relationship, except that was over a year ago. "Yeah, yeah I'm still with him." He knew they had a shitty relationship. "So how did things pan out with you and Laura?" she asked him. He remembered that she was there the first time he set his eyes on her. It made him laugh, "oh yeah! You were there the first time we met." He stopped to think about it. He was doing the same thing as he was doing the year before, so was she, kinda,"So no more coat check?" he asked, she was the front beer tub girl. It was still early there wasn't enough traffic coming into the bar for her to have to ignore him.
"You're still with her eh?" she was surprised, and she was smiling. "Yeah, yeah we're still together, we cut each other off all the time, but she's a writer and..." he stopped, the words were in his mouth. "I love her" he smiled. "I was hung up on someone I used to know when I met you two!" She looked down at him, the beer tub was oozing Budweiser. "I think we're addicted to a certain kind.... the same kind" the music was to loud for her to hear him. Yelling she said "She is definitely one of the most sincere girls ... I" she squinted, her eyes flaring, he felt the back draft. The glare disturbed him.  "You'll ever meet!".  He smiled at her, looking up, through her nylon clothing. "You're right!" he said "I got to go to work now" he unpacked his gear and did what does.....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

That's good I'll be your kindergarten teacher

"We are a cheap pickle waiting to happen" she wanted to draw out a laugh. The little boy in the back seat was not having it. "Hey Georgy, what's up?" his little cheeks were bright red, flush from the heat in the car. It made her smile. "Wanna go to MC.Donald's.?" She asked expecting cheers. "No" was the response she got, "What?" she snarled glaring into the rear view mirror. He was too little to care about her eyes. "Georgy you're five right?" she asked. He looked toward the rear view mirror and made eye contact from directly behind her. He was sitting in a booster seat. "Yes! I'm five" the music on the radio was a song he knew. She watched him move with the rhythm, "you're a great dancer." That made him smile. "Dad say's that MC.Donald's is bad for me!" His voice squeezed her heart, she understood the innocents. "Oh! That's why you don't want to go and have a happy meal." She saw his father in her mind alone and relentless. "Don't think it's good for you eh!" The little boy's eyes shined in the dimness of the gray winter afternoon light.
"I wanna see my mom!" he said to her. "Settle down!" she shouted, it came out angry. "What did I say?" he asked innocently, buckled into the back seat of the Suburban. Fear started overcoming her, she could remember the way his father made her feel. "Do you remember when I took you to the park?" she remembered the lightning storm three years earlier. "Do you remember when you where two?" she asked him, he sat in the back watching the light fade and the ambiance made by the evening traffic reminded him of his mother. "I remember the storm!" his little voice made her smile. "When are we gonna go to my dad's" The question un nerved her. "I just need you to help me find something back at home" she said pulling the black truck into her garage. The little boy had a vague memory of where he was, "I'm five now" he said as she took off the restraints. "I go to school now!" 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

a company I did a billboard for broke my back

She stood under the sign breathing heavy. She was on top of the world for the first time and at that moment she remembered. It was the only time in her life that she felt that way. "Baby, when I saw my picture on that board overlooking the city I thought I had it all." He looked at her thinking. "What do mean?" he asked frowning "don't you have it all right now?" She exhaled, and frowned along side him. Then they both smiled at each other. "No" her eye's looking away "No! I don't feel like I have anything left." Her attitude made him feel rejected. "I love you baby, and I thought your Picture was great!" He stood up and walked towards her. "Can I sit next to you?" he asked, pushing her over. "Yeah baby, come here" she reached her hand toward him. "I love you baby" he said falling into her, then they cuddled. "why don't you think that you have it all? We're not hungry, we're not angry, you're working as a graphic designer!" She knew how he felt about life.
"The billboard meant so much and it made me have something to work for and I thought that it would free me." He knew what she was taking about. "Yeah well, you're lucky anyway!" he told her pushing her body closer to his.
"You know we are lucky because.." he stopped, "well we got this house too!" he looked around, outside the the windows they were sitting so close to. He could see the whole city around him and it was beyond beautiful and she knew that. "I know you love this place baby so why aren't you happy?" his question bothered her, she knew why.
"I" she stopped, her body was feeling suffocated by his hugs. He squeezed her even closer and it made her feel better. "Baby I love you." she said in a whisper.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Just take your meds!

"It's just so gross!" his mom told him. "Henry, you know we can't have this kind of thing don't you" She was talking about his drug use. "What do you mean mom!" he understood her, but he wanted her to say it. He could tell she didn't want to. "Just do it, come on hun! Be a good sport and listen to me when I say that it's just gross" Her eyes were glued to his, and it made him sick. "What's wrong with it mom?" the question infuriated her, her face flushed with rage. It made him laugh, "hey mom, you know what dad called you when you get all angry like this" her face grew redder as the words fell out of his mouth, "BULL!"
In that instant she wanted to give up, she could see it in his face, that rage, his fathers contempt. "Henry" she demanded, "What do you want mom?" SHe looked at him, her heart racing, "I'm not a bull!" the words relaxed her. She started to breath. "Breath mom" he said. She laughed, "Listen Henry, I know you don't want to listen to me, but you have to." she leaned in closer. "Get the fuck away from me mom, I don't want to do it. I'm fucking sixteen years old." he stopped, She stood up looking at him. "Listen you gotta do it, you're father is out of the picture." He thought about him, where he was. "Yeah!" his voice broke, the image of him,, his father and mother together dawned in his mind, "Take them Henry!" The words broke through the horizon and fear seized him, "He'll come back!" he said looking her right in the eye, "Now go fuck yourself." Her eyes began to water, and she began to cry but she wasn't leaving his room. "Do it please, just do it for me!" she begged him, they were alone in the small apartment. "He stood up and looked at her."
"Fuck mom, why?" he asked, looking over her shoulder, profiling her cheek and staring past her ear into the the hallway behind her. "i don't want to live with you anymore!" she shook her head. "Please, Henry!" it made him laugh. "What do you want!" he asked again now trying to push by her "I just want to get out of here." he wasn't lieing and she knew that. "This'll fix it son!" she was right, he'd just end up going back to bed. "I don't want to do it mom" now struggling to push past her, "Henry" she yelled holding on to him with both hands, "Please"

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I killed it!

"You know I feel the best when I'm with you?" Jessica knew what he was talking about. The two of them had been together for six years already. "Remember how well we did in school together," she remember looking at him. "You always were so patient when you were helping me study!"  it was true, she was so patient. She liked him so much, she used to write his notes for him. "Do you remember?" he demanded, he was always such a screamer, she hated it. "Yeah!" she though about the two of them. "You were always so willing to learn." She remembered why, "you never showed up to class." They looked at each other.
"Jessica, it doesn't matter, I gota good job." She thought about it. He was sitting on the couch in front of the TV. He was going bald. "You're going bald!" it came out of her in a smirk. She couldn't help but laugh. "You've been with me for six years and you just realizing that I'm losing hair now?" He looked at himself in the mirror. "it's hasn't gotten worse since you got pregnant the first time." He reminder her, "so?" she asked, "So what?" he asked back sounding tough. "So what'd you think?" He knew what she was talking about. "I don't know." He didn't know what to think. It upset him. "I really don't know." His voice sounded shattered. "I'm not ready, baby, but I have a good job!" He pushed his head between her breasts like a child. "That's what got you into this mess." Her hand gripping the patch of hair he had left and pulling, "Ahhhh, stop that" he laughed. They looked at eachother, "it's you, you're the reason." She was, she thought, she loved to pull his hair, "Fuck Ryan! How are we going to deal with this?" She didn't know either. She didn't know how to tell him the truth. "Umm, I think we can deal with it" he was right, the two of them had done it once before. "Remember, the rocky mountains, Oh God." They both remembered, she looked at him, "yeah baby I'll never forget." But she wanted to forget, she needed to tell him how she felt, "Why?" she asked..
"Why what?"" he answered ready to go back toward her, push close to her, to touch her. He rose to touch her and as he did she raised her hand to push him away. "What's wrong" looking at her, "I know we're not ready, but we can do this." She knew he was right. "You need faith baby." he knelt down low before her, she started crying, "You need to have faith for the baby" he said on his knees. Tears fell from Jessica eye's.  She just Kept crying, "Ryan!" she asked. "What?"

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

something unexpected

It hurt so bad, her rejection. "She didn't know me!" it was all I could say. "She's lucky" he only thought so because he realized that they usually don't. "Not before they fall in love" he was sitting alone at the table. There was no one at the school. It was empty. He had been studying for the last, three hundred years. He wanted to graduate. "I need nine more credits!" It was unbelievable. The idea of having to go back to school for nine more credits blew his mind. "This is unbelievable" the echo of the empty building made him laugh. "Fuck no one cares about this bullshit!" he was right. The only person who enjoyed events like this were the women at the registrars office. "Fuck" he thought about them. "Six old ladies" they all knew him. He was certain that one of them had led him astray. He was right. but only because they wanted to fish him in.

"He has a nice ass!" said one of the more mature looking women in the office to the other.

It was the Christmas season and all the lights in the trees were lighting up the the area around the cubicles. Everyone in the office was wearing the most precious smiles. "Merry Christmas." they cheered almost as soon as they made eye contact with you. "I'm here to talk to the registrar" the woman behind the desk handed me a paper. He looked at it "a questionnaire asking me for my id information. Lindsy?" He made eye contact with the young woman. She was sitting behind the desk, there was no one else waiting, "do we have to go through with this every time?" She just nodded her head. She made him laugh. "you're lucky you're not ugly! Or Id hate you lady." She smiled. She felt that the comment was out of place, but because there was no one there she enjoyed the compliment. He didn't like her at all, but he thought she was hot. He smiled at her and she waved him off, "have a seat." all the chairs were pushed up against the back of room. He sat down and fiddled with his eye phone while she watched. She was pretending to work on the computer, but it was three days before the Christmas Vacation was going to start and there really was nothing to do. He waited for six minutes before the adviser showed up. She was smiling. They all always just smiled.
"Come in" she said all happy and polite, her purple blouse was silk and she wore matching shoes. Her hair was purple too, "come in" they both sat down , "so what the conflict with the scheduled" her face was withered but she didn't use too much make up, she had a very peasant nature about her. "It seems I'm not going to graduate because of nine credits, Ive looked over..." He pulled out the 2012 calendar and read off all the requirements, "I need two senior electives, and I thought I had them, I thought I was gong to graduate this year" she looked over the paper . "Yes" she exhaled "Yes, I bet you did!" it didn't sound like he was going to be getting around it."No, you actually have to take several more course, not enough for a full course load, but yes, a few more courses." It made him feel sick. Nausea filled his senses and all he wanted to do was vomit on the desk. "You ok" her eyes actually showed concern, but more of a terror that be might sick up on her blouse. They were trapped in the  room together, she didn't mind and he could not tell what was going to happen to him ten months in the future. "I guess we'll be seeing you next semester" it excited him, and her! bitch!

There is this place in the world where I really like to be. I never get to go there, and whenever I try I end up having to come back here to live the way they make us. I want to be different, I don't want a responsibility. I want progress I want money. She was beautiful the day I met her. It wasn't just her eyes. I could tell she was living in love. I was drunk and the moment I laid eye's on her I knew. "Wanna fuck?" were my first words, she had these big tits. I fucking still like big tits. But now when I see hers I remember, there is places I won't be going back to. I'm not the only one who goes around living on the edge of the things he loves. I used to do drugs, I used to get so fucked up I watched the Atlas on the wall, the picture of the planet drawn out and mapped out, spin. I was fucked up on speed that my doctor gave me, I asked him and he hooked me up. It was legit. I was legit. I remember the first time I went back to a doctor after sobering up. He said "I'll put you back on the stimulants, we're gonna have to start slow though and go back to your preferred dose over a period of six months. My preferred dose was an overdose, he knew that. The pharmaceutical companies don't mind kids who like to crank out a term paper on crack. I didn't take the drugs, I was scared and the last time I ravaged what I wanted she got pregnant. Fucking big tits.... what can I say. I didn't even understand what I had until I met someone that took it all away.
A few years back I had what God told me not to take. I couldn't help  it, it just jumped in. I was sitting alone in my car, in the front seat there one minute, and there she was sitting next to me snuggled believing in my front seat the next minute. At that time I was driving a taxi, a father, feeding a baby that I made from the last girl that wanted to see things through my eyes, from my front seat. I have eyes that God gave me to see, to teach people to whisper to each other. To Tell them we all fall in love eventually. Love is fleeting and it's fetched, it's seen, it jumps into front seats. I know love, I live in it. Can you see it?
Now when I see a picture of the places I really want to be I just look away and imagine myself there. I know it's cold where I'm really from, but that's better then way to hot to see. I live in a loving world that's warm enough for me. I don't live with those people from the frozen tundra, in the soulless void of knowledge and money. I don't let them tell me that we're anywhere different then heaven. Only a few people get to bring that place with them when they fall. I did. I required certain skills to control it, not to get every girl I meet pregnant. I love those who have seen it through our eyes. I loved so many people. Why did I fall here, to see who's winning, to change minds on control and to believe that this is the most awesome thing to witness and to tell those people that think they can control everything that they can't. You can only watch and see, you have a choice, and that's to know. I know where I am from and where I'm going. To those who forget that I take everything with me no matter if you're trying to hide it or not, I can see you and  I know you.  You will always know me first.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Eighteen to Twenty

Through the narrative techniques of Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte, we are introduced to Jane and Emma, two nineteenth century women, proceeding through life in two different ways, each growing towards their own individuality, in the process of courtship. Jane and Emma’s characteristics are developed from two different perspectives of class throughout most of the novels Jane Eyre and Emma. Both characters have ideals that conform to their authors view on modern progress. The protagonist’s choices of partners reflected what the women understood about their relationships with the opposite sex in the nineteenth century. Stepping out of the box and into the novel both Bronte and Austen introduce their audience to the real world and reveal a window overlooking a life of the nineteenth century woman.

The young women, portrayed by Austen and Bronte, live in the same society just fill different positions in the class system. Jane Eyre unravels itself around the trials and tribulation of a poor orphaned yet strong willed governess. Austen places Emma in a much more opulent position in the world, she say’s “The real evils indeed of Emma’s situation were the power of having rather too much her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself; these were the disadvantages which threatened alloy to her many enjoyments.”(7) Bronte see’s Jane’s position in the world as strange and exciting “Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would have been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the separation: that wind would then have saddened my heart… I wished the wind to howl more wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness and then confusion to rise to clamour.”(65) Eyre uses the difficulties presented to her as ways to strengthen her ability to cope with adversity. Throughout her novel Bronte develops a perspective that allows the reader to attribute strength to adversity and not base it on class. Austen does it too, except from the other end of the class system, she explains
After these came a second set; among the most come-at-able of whom were Mrs. And Miss Bates and Mrs. Goddard, three ladies almost always at the service of an invitation from Hartfield, and who were fetched and carried home so often that Mr. Woodhouse thought it no hardship for either James or the Horses.”(21)
Looking at Emma from Jane Eyre ‘s perspective Emma reflects many similarities in opinion to Jane’s younger pupil Adele. Emma has a lot to learn about the true virtues that are to be reflected by the nobility. Austen writes about how Emma meets Robert Martin,
His appearance was very neat, and he looked like a sensible young man, but his person had no other advantage; and when he came to be contrasted with gentleman. She thought he must lose all the ground he had gained in Harriet’s inclination. (31)
Mr. Rochester bestows Jane Eyre with his good will in the appropriate master servant manner according to Bronte; Miss. Eyre would have it no other way but to leave respectfully after Rochester say’s,
I saw in you eyes when I first beheld you: their expression and smile did not… ‘strick delight to my very inmost heart so for nothing. People talk of natural sympathies; I have heard of good gennii: there are grains of truth in the wildest fable. My cherished preserver, good night!’(177)
The female authors are acknowledging that the true virtues that reinforce the reasons for class are not material or superficial, but are imbedded in the commitment to maintain the well being of everyone around them, and to nourish those who are successful in supporting others.    
            While focusing on the main characters of their novels Austen and Bronte reflect their opinions of the process of social intercourse. After a short visit with Mrs. Elton Emma decides,
Mrs. Elton was a vain woman, extremely well satisfied with her self, and thinking much of her own importance; that she meant to shine and be very superior, but with manners which had been formed in a bad school, pert and familiar; that all her notions were drawn from one set of people, and one style of living; that if not foolish she was ignorant, and that her society would certainly do Mr. Elton no good (253)
These are Austen’s ideals, this is one way for Emma to expose that education, and cultural style has a significant bearing on the level of virtue found in a good person. Bronte confronts the same issues form a different direction,
It is vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it…Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and field for their efforts as much as their brothers do…and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. (129-30)
Jane Eyre humbly opens our mind to accept that things change. In an ideal world where Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte are both content, people moving up in class do so with the an ambition to grow culturally and with manners.
            What the women come to understand about themselves throughout the novel allows the girls to mature into potential brides; the choices these female protagonists make in spouses represents their authors view on men.  Emma’s goal was to pawn Harriet off to the highest bidder. Mr. knightly always saw through the façade Emma created and held the idea that Mr. Marine would have Harriet because he loved her. Even Toward the very end of the novel Emma is not prepared for what Mr. Knightly has to say about the two,
“You are prepared for the worst, I see—and very bad it is. Harriet Smith marries Robert Martin.” Emma gave a start, which did not seem like being prepared –and her eyes, in eager gaze said, “No, this is impossible!” but her lips were closed.
Austen has Emma struggle with her acceptance with Mr. Martin right to the very end of the novel. Mr. Knightly insists that she understand him before they can be bound in matrimony. Jane Eyre is called back to a broken Mr. Rochester, who calls himself “a Vulcan – a real blacksmith, brown, broad-shouldered; and blind and lame into the bargain.’”(509) Jane doesn’t mind the way Rochester looks even after the fire. He tries to shake her away from him in all his ugliness when Jane say’s, “I shuddered involuntarily, and clung instinctively closer to my blind but beloved master. He smiled.”(511) Rochester needs to know how Jane feels about him and his deformities; just like Mr. Knightly need to know that Emma understands why Mr. Martin is the right man for Harriet. The novels develop the sense of love then they answer the question of who to marry.
            The eighteenth century female protagonist could be from any class, as long as  she had a character with heart; according to Austen and Bronte the female hero of a nineteenth century novel has the potential to marry the man of her dreams. Emma overcomes a series of adversities and obstacles that are fundamentally different from the journey Jane Eyre needs to take. Their dreams come true. The two authors use different yet dynamic ways to portray perspectives of young females growing up in the same period in history. Jane and Emma get married to men they love and cherish. Bronte and Austen end their story on happy notes that open the minds of generations of young women to come.

Work Cited

Austen, Jane "Emma". London:Penguin Classics, 1996. Print.

Bronte, Charlotte “Jane Eyre”. London:Penuin, 1996. Print.

in spanish class

It was getting colder in the classrooms over the past several days, the weather was changing. "So?" she asked sitting in a chair in the university cafeteria. "You ready for finals?" her breath was so bad I didn't know what to do. "No not really" I was moving away, scootching over with my ass. I didn't want to sit next to her. "What's on the agenda, I didn't take the question sheet from the prof." She looked up at me, face full of pimples eyes so wide, looking at me through these thick glasses. I remember the professor didn't know what to do with the both of us. She put us in a group whether we liked it or not. She was OK with it I could tell. She was ugly, Fat, and she was wearing a cast. "I don't know" she said, "I didn't get one either" she waved her pen through her finger rather gracefully. She knew what the assignment was about, but she didn't want to tell me. "I'm your partner!" I shouted it, loud, Like a boy, with a temper. She laughed at me. So did two other girls on the other side of the tables. I looked at her, she looked back at me wide eyed with those thick glasses. I laughed, it pissed her off. I could tell. "You have the highest mark in the class, you know what you're doing, tell me what's up!" She didn't want to, she just sat on the table, waving her legs. I wanted the legs of the table to break, to drop her, I was angry, she was laughing at me. It was twenty to six. The class was starting in ten minutes. "We have to do our homework" she laughed at me again, "I'm done, asshole." She got off the table, it bent. I laughed, she hated me. She went to class, I watched her. It was five to six when I got in to the room. I was on coffee, I felt good, I had a chocolate bar. I had a shitty mark, not an overall great average. I don't care enough to sit in front. I try not to sit in the back. And there she was, her fat ass taking up the best seats in the second and third row. I fucking blew a gasket. The Prof took us outside. I made her cry. Tears in her eyes, I sat where she was. I made her cry.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

he hung up on her

"you'll fall back in love eventually" he said to himself, he was getting sick of sitting in his apartment alone. "I almost preferred seeing her every day." She was back at home, with her family, far away from him. He looked back to the internet to see what he would see. He Googled her name. She didn't use facebook anymore, "Not since she left the country." The sounds of his roommates dog came in through the walls. "I'm moving next week" he wanted to hear the sound of that, "ah... let's tweet it." The information evoked lots of reaction from his followers.
Cattingitdown replied "Where too, asshole?" The two of them were on good terms. He did want to tell his whole social network that he was going to be moving back to the old house. Except he didn't want to tell them that it was because she had moved away and left him.
Looking over his email he saw that his mom was on Gmail. She was on the internet too now, talking, facebook too. "Even had your picture taken by a pro" was the first thing he said when he saw her pop on screen. She laughed, they both did, and they talked about what he was cooking, how he was doing at work. She was gone and it was visible that he had lost a piece of himself in the separation.
"I need two hundred thousand dollars." Typically he started high, he didn't care about what she was going through. "There is a future in this!" she laughed. He was right, if he wanted it, something, anything  he was always right. "I don't have that kind of money!" He watched her words roll of her tongue. It made him feel sick. The two were three thousand kilometers apart. "I can see you mom" his mind never waiver in it's  amazement, he was angry. "I just bought a new house" she said to him. Her face was flush, so was his. "I know, I know" He looked away and picked something up. It was a magazine. He hung up and called his Friend "Hey Felmont!"
They met at Loonies the local tavern, "So she's gone eh?" Felmont concluded just seeing the look on his face. "You look like shit and you stink" the expression made everyone look him over, Felmont just laughed. They sat down and started to drink beer. Felmont sat filling the glasses with the house Ale. It was delicious he thought listening to Felmont tell him about his last relationship.
"You see" he said slurring his words "I haven't told you about it yet" he stopped and started to think. Looking over his face you could recognize he was a handsome man, but his youth was being wasted away and pitched back into the bar night after night. "I didn't tell you bout her because she was so much older then me." His sweaty drunk face made him look like a red tumor. "She wants me so bad." The two were at the bar when Felmont ordered a shot of Tequila. They were used to drinking together.
Towards  midnight he began to feel the natural way..... He passed out, Felmont found his wallet and paid for another round then took a cab home.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

He was reading her tweets!

It was the last time they talked, "WHat a mess!" The words echoed in the empty room. He was getting lonely, he even left a message on his cousins Facebook page to wish her a happy birthday. "We never see each other, only Jason gets to go to Italy." He was right, he was alone. Well not entirely, he had his friends.
"What's up?" his tiny i phone was all he had. "Fuck, yeah!  Yeah!, so wanna do something for Christmas, ...No ... Yeah, Yeah I understand, yeah I wish I was going too, but I can't afford it." After hanging up he realized he was back in the same empty room, "Twitter eh?" this was a question,  that he knew the answer to. "It's all I got," looking over his phone, "I love you!." tweet, " So logging on is better then logging off, "I don't want to kill myself," he said as he looked over a vile of fifty Dexedrine piles.  "but I don't wanna pretend without anyone here to help me."
Amanda was always down to tweak out, she was sick and her dad ate her pills before she even got to see em. "So you're being orphaned this year?" Her long brown hair was tangle, but she was skinny and she brought coffee, and she loved to watch the x files. "Let's start a twitter page!" she said, iridescently stoned, she was glowing, and he was happy not to be alone. "Yeah!" He stopped and looked at her, "Are we gonna take off our clothes?" it was a good question. She liked him, and it was Christmas. "Probably, how many pills you got?" Her fingers rolled over the prescription label, "it say's there is three refills.  ha" it was funny, they both laughed. he looked at her, "I have a week off work" They both laughed again. She was sitting on the sofa texting something somewhere onto the internet.
They knew each other in real life, as well well as on the internet. It's where they met, well kinda. They met on the bus, "Public transport, I fucking can't stand public transport" she was watching him yell. He was drunk and so was she. She was with her friends. They were on their way to a party, the whole bus was full of kids. It was a Friday night, "I hate public transport" he did, she could tell, she was watching him from across the nine. He remembered the first time he saw her.
"We were on that bus, to that party remember" he stalled, "I was drinking!" She smiled remembering, "I remember the day" he said breaking her thought. "What are you gonna do?" she asked, looking high and smiling. He was already on the computer. "I remember you were tweeting that night, every time I caught you looking you'd talk about it" he thought about it, "I didn't understand the technology back then, I'm going back to read it." She blushed. "I said I liked didn't understand public transport" She watched as he reviewed the two year old tweets. "It say's here" he said reading "No use trying to be a tyrant, were all on the same train!" He laughed out loud."I was so drunk that night, and I fucking hate the train you know that. "Yes" she said pretty, "I also like you when you're a tyrant." she laughed at him. They were both alone.