Chemo life!

There was yesterday when I found out that my mom is going to have to go through Chemo therapy. It was so harsh because she's going to have to go through it twice. Once before they cut out her lung and then once right after.
My mamma is so important. she made me. and I love her.

It hurts to have to know that she s gonna have the meanest surgery

I think of the doctors that are doing the cutting.

My mom has always adored doctors.

 I don't like them so much.

I think my mom liked them and they were always just bullies, spoiled fuckers that didn't respect her like she should have been.

They better be tender with my mom. because she's beautiful and so amazing and sweet.

If you ever met her you'd like her, all my friends did. Always, even tho I tried to scare them.

My mom is so attached to my soul. It's scary to think about her dying... being sick.

I can think about offing myself so much easier then what the world would be like if she wasn't here.

In a lot of ways that speaks volumes about me. Who the fuck do I think I am.. only reason I'm not scared of dieing is because I'm still so lucky to be attached to those that love me.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be cut off ....

there are so few moments where we fear for our lives. People are cradled, wrapped and held in this blanket that lets you forget about the fragility of life.

Life grows just like that cancer I want to kill, it spreads with such ease it almost