Philling!

It's so important to remember and reflect about your day! We all know it! Communication is super important. Communication with yourself. I started to remember how to blog. How to talk to myself here. I'm not embarrassed that I'm an adult and I still can't spell. I think that that might be some sort of disorder. Cause I can do this shit. It doesn't bother me that I'm not flawless, nothing perfect is. It's hard to define things like beauty and perfection. I bet you if there were real accurate didactic ways to pin point things like beauty it would involve violent collisions! And perfection could probably be defined as a heart attack. Fuck my chest hurts, and loving life is heavy. So many people so far away from me. It isn't that I feel segregated, I just feel like a minority that hasn't even been discovered yet. It's like I'm a part of a race of people that no one knows about! the human race is a race of people who don't see their own self worth. I'm not sure that I'm one to declare this though. I'm a lot like everyone else, but I do change when ever I see myself stepping over boundaries that are there beyond my control.
You can see yourself stepping over those boundaries in the blog posts! in my little reflection. When you read over them they translate something that you never really intend them to do! When you look back at your own reflection it's not always easy to see what you want to see, but it is always easy to see what's there. You fix everything you can in your life to have the reflection you desire stare back at you. the things you can't change are the things you must learn to love, the things which are beyond your control are what you need to hold on to to draw strength from. Finding those parts of yourself is hard, they're the parts we taught ourselves to hide from to protect ourselves from. It's hide and go seek or cops and robbers!
I chipped a piece of my filling today, feels weird and sharp in my mouth, I want to poke at it. Of course I can't fix it! Thank Goodness it hasn't hurt yet. I'm pretty sure I'll last the weekend without smashing anything through to the root till Monday! I got to trust it, or panic, but it doesn't hurt, so why?