Dear Mom,

Holy Moly has this ever been an exciting semester I'm learning so much, really it feels like I'm actually finally getting a liberal arts education. Holy Jesus Mom I love it here. So, three years ago, when I was seeing that older women? You know the one that smashed my camera at the beginning of last years Fall term, well I can remember there was this time we were together at a fancy hotel, she was quit the sugar mama, as you probably remember since it was you who told me that I almost sold every ounce of my soul just by staying with her. (Not necessarily entirely true) Well this was a year before she smashed the Camera and lied to the cops; we were at this hotel eating a fancy dinner on the patio. Well anyway the word Concordia came up in our conversation. The institution was somehow also brought up around the young waiter, who just happened to be a Philosophy major and at that point an Alumni of the School I'm now attending and looking forward to graduating from, Concordia! He was an immense conversationalist, he knew by looking at my partner and I that we'd be interested in what he had to say. He told me one thing, he said "if there is one Professor you should introduce yourself to when you go to Concordia, it's Beach." Straight up! That's what he said Mom, he also told me his name and told me to mention him. But Mom, I forgot his name. That's why I'm writing you this letter. I feel that you, and you alone can help me understand why I should have forgotten such an elegant servers name. Mom he's the reason I'm taking Beach's class about the Love of Wisdom. I feel so alone not knowing that name!!!!

Love

Your Son

The PoacherDear