Post Man

I drove this stripper tonight. She got in and the first thing she said was "Oh my God you're a fucking white dude!" I looked back to see a seventeen year old looking girl talking to her friend on her cell phone. She told me where she was going. We started talking. She was still talking to the dude on the cell too. She said "I like to have someone on the line with me. You never know taxi drivers can be creepers." She was right. I asked her what she does. "I'm a stripper" she yelled, "you couldn't tell?" I said "you look seventeen." We both laughed. On the way to her house she kept giggling about how I was a white guy driving taxi. She even said I was driving my dads cab. Then she told me that she is Bi Polar. I said "I'm Bi Polar too." Well I was diagnosed as bipolar, but fuck what do doctors know. At least psychiatrists. She told me that she had been committed once, I laughed and told her I was committed twice. It was a sweet ride, even though she had some dude on the phone for the whole time. Is a stripper a whore?????.......... That's a toughy. I also had this girl show me her belt buckle it said "It's not gonna lick itself." Then she took off her pants. I took a picture. It's not x-rated and it's kind of artsy. Ill have it up soon, this PC I'm using is having a hard time dealing with my SD card my mac is in shop.

What's the difference

Men the women were fucking horny tonight. One after the other, so many girls in the car crying out "I need a man." I got lucky tonight, I did good. I made a shit load of cash. Thank God the recession is over. No probably not, but tonight was one of the better nights of the last two and a half months. Edmonton really looked good. I love the nights when people are out and getting hammered and then fist fighting for a taxi. Only God can paint that kind of picture. Or maybe it was the Oilers game. So the ladies were having trouble getting the guy down their pants. Strange! not really, who doesn't know that Alberta's blue collar boys aren't in to one night stands. I had a fare out to SheerWood park. Two girls, one of them was almost in tears that she did not bring home a boy from the bar. Her Friend told her to get a boy toy, and whenever she needed some action to just call him up. Her friend is in the middle of a divorce, she also left her camera and cell in the car. I can't wait to see her again. My last fare was another couple. They had ordered two taxis. I showed up first. I had no Idea it was a two taxi deal, so when they asked me if there was another taxi on the way I said "No." They both got in, they were both going to different ends of the city. The women was unbelievably attractive. Bomb shell. She gets and says to me "I'm going to be the highlight of your night." I told her bout the blog. She told me that she's going to get her boyfriend from the West Edmonton Mall. It was 4:30 am the mall was closed. I said "Your dude is drunk sleeping in his car and your going to drive him home right?" She smiled and said "I can't drive stick." The drunk guy was going to drive her home. She was a very outgoing women. She told me and the guy in the back seat that she is head over heels for this guy. She said "He has me wrapped around his little finger." She was so hot, I imagined some sort of Casanova surrounded by class and culture. When we showed up at the mall he was leaning up against the parking lot concrete wall. He was done, he looked like a drunk thug who was stuck outside for a few hours after the bar closed. I pulled up, he got in "We need to go to Shanks (a west end sports joint) to get my car." That's the first thing he said then he looked at his girl and said "Why do you smell like a horse?" You could tell that hurt her feelings. He kept behaving like an asshole the whole way to Shanks. When we pulled up to his car he threw me a credit card and said "Pay the cab fare up to here plus pay for this kid to go home." I told him that combined the fares added up to 60$. He put 80$ on the card. I bet your thinking wow what a generous offer. As he was signing the credit card slip he joked about how it's his dads Visa. That girl was wrapped around the guys finger. She was such an interesting fare, before we got there she told us about how she liked him even though he never pulled her hair when they fucked. Me and the guy in the back seat laughed. She had a full set of hair. What I don't understand is why she would take such abuse. She had self esteem and she was smart, at least I thought so. Until of course she got in a car with a drunk psychologist boy. Cause a man dosen't spend his dads money.

I don't do dope, I'm drug tested

All the drugs I've been snorting are making me Impotent...... I'm joking. No I don't do drugs and no I'm not Impotent. My problem is that I can't make any money. I'm out there ready to work but the work just isn't there. Sure I have dozens of personals and all of them are so generous and awesome, but most of the work load seems to be driving around pissed drunk. I don't even care about all the shitty driving, I'm too worried that I won't make the rent. (It's not that bad...yet). I can pay the rent but I haven't been able to set any money aside for my suns college education in the last couple months. (That's a lie too) O.k. o.k all jokes aside business is in the gutter. I just don't have all the clients I use to. So the blog is taking the hardest hit in this economic crisis. I had a fare last night, a couple. They needed to stop at the bank, on the way there the guy told me he just lost his job "I was laid off." They needed to stop at a bank to get money, they both insisted that the ATM at the New Wave was the best choice. The New Wave is the type of bar you go to to get shanked. She went in and left her boyfriend. She never came back so boy toy went in looking for her. They both came back, but it took a long time. The bank machine wasn't pumping out any cash for the two of them. I drove them to the convenience store. Again they wasted a chunk of time to come back and tell me that the bank machines must all be busted. Yeah right and they were really millionaires. So much time flushed down the midnight latrine. Well I made it home alive tonight. Like my ex girlfriend always liked to say "It's better then a kick in the head." But being poor blows. I think someone threw a hot dog at the car. It might have been vomit, but I doubt it. I love Rock and Roll. AIM

Jerk off or die

I told you guys about that girl who works in the rub and tug, she told me she hasn't had a client in three days. She is not able to pay her rent. Taxi is slow too. Driving up 82 ave or Jasper is depressing. Cabs cruising around with their top lights shinning bright, begging for any passengers to fill their seats. The temperature was good tonight. People are out getting drunk their just waddling back to their trucks and driving home loaded instead of taking a safe ride home. Global the TV channel has been airing my short video clip of the guy burning alive. They didn't give me any recognition but that doesn't bother me. Linda Steel was the person that confirmed that the guy who hit that post and got Barbecued in front of me had died. The police are investigating weather or not he was drunk. The police did confirm speed was an issue. They knew he was driving erratically because he passed them at a suicidal pace and all the cops did was salute the guy. I don't know about that but I'm sure that if they saw a drunk speeder they would do nothing because that's what the judicial system seems to make cops do..... nothing. I don't have very much to talk about. The crazy lady with mascara all over her face who couldn't read and was twitching due to drug use. She hired me at two thirty this morning to drive her to visit her dieing brother in the hospital. I wonder what he's gonna think when his forty four year old sister walks into his room in the middle of the night so fucked up on drugs she's psychotic. It might put a smile on his face. She was crazy but nice.

ever been to Newfoundland

So the city is a big circuit board and running up its concrete veins is me the Electricity. Tonight the city was seriously out of batteries. Most of the night felt like I was trying to suck the life out of a 9 volt. When I was fifteen I lived in Saudi Arabia. My mom worked for the King Fahd National Guard Hospital. Because she was a women she wasn't allowed to dive a car. Not only was she not allowed to drive she wasn't allowed in a car with a man that wasn't her husband. Different culture. They had taxis in Saudi but they were called Limos. I forget what kind of car they were. The drivers were from India and Pakistan and places like that. Western women were allowed to travel using the taxis. I'm sure there were rules. The night I landed in Riyadh was the first time my mother could leave the airport without an official escort. At fifteen I was allowed to drive. Being a boy I was allowed pretty much whatever I wanted. I could buy cigarettes, a buck a pack. Did you know they have public executions in Saudi Arabia? Every Friday night in (what the westerners called it) chop chop square. My mom never let me attend. In Saudi if you're caught with drugs you can loose your head. In Saudi a bottle of Jack Daniels (this is ten years ago) can set you back like 700$. I remember driving around in the limos, I remember because in Saudi they ran red lights. Hard Core. No joke. I never got a car. I never got drunk or high. Hey Shout Out Out Out Out is more then gravy

Lobster Mania

Yes kids it's Sunday. I work. I fucking work Sundays. I think there is lots of people who're working Sundays these days. My job is very vulnerable. I make money off of fun. People who have the time and cash to play late at night. About 5% of my fares are on their way to work. The rest are going out to party. I cater to the kid in us. I love the inner child. I am a strong believer you have to nurture the fuck out of the little devil in us. Lately the money's been kinda thin. Seems his allowance has been reduced. My income has been cut in half. I still love driving. I have such a great base of clients I can always make ends meet. But I'm standing still, the taxi is becoming a job. The work is beautiful, but money's been a bitch. I like Sundays, I go into them not thinking about cash. I love to listen to Allan Cross on the radio. I like the Radio. Since paying the bills is such an awful stresser, the radio plays the pleasant roll of relaxer. Music is amazing. Even a song you've heard a thousand times before can make you feel in tune with the situation. Rock and Roll was designed to listened to behind the wheel of a car going the right speed at the right time. I had this girl in my car, her Dad is President of the West Edmonton Music Society, I asked her to let me into the scene. She said she might. She was a tough chick, sharp as a knife. Sometimes I can't get the individual to settle down. You know become one with the Crown Vic. With me. Maybe there was too much snow. The roads are horrible. One thing that's been asked of me in the last few months is "You want to smoke a joint?" I don't. I wouldn't. Last night two women as old as my mom wanted to puff the magic dragon in the car, with me. Nice ladies. Most people argue with me, the other night this guy ran into his house without paying me so I'd follow him inside and smoke the bong. I followed. He paid and he tipped me twenty bucks and I ran away before he could find his pipe. So many people smoke herb in this nation. The pot heads are great, but coke just seems to add excitement mixed with booze. Do drugs get drunk and call a cab.

You on the pill?

I can spot a coke head from a mile away. I can smell the kind of weed you smoke. I can see that you sell crack. I can feel that he just broke your heart. I know you. I am a jack of something. I'm not just a taxi driver I'm a photo journalist. I know things you don't. I know things you want to know. I know things you're afraid of understanding. All I do is drive you around. I love you. I wish I made a bigger difference in the world. I wish you did too. I am not an optimist. I am one of the nicest people who works the night shift. I am one of the best taxi drivers on the planet.... in the universe. I am cocky. I am king. I am arrogant. I pick on Polacks. I hate people who drink and drive. I am an adrenaline junky. Watching someone die did not leave me speechless. It should have. I am a coward. I read the writing on the wall. I am a man. I'm not scared of people. I live in love. I drop into life like a half pipe. I win some I loose lots. I give and give and give. If you offer me money while I'm working I'll take it. I won't kiss you if you're ugly. I think girls that dress slutty are hookers. I am attracted to slutty looking girls. I have never even thought about picking up a street walker. I pick people up off the streets. I have witnessed countless drug transaction. I am not a rat. I've called 911. I respect my elders unless they are high, or oil and gas jerk offs. I believe in everyone. I hate humanity. I can't wait till tomorrow, cause I love what I do. I love that you read me, thank you.

Fucking plows had a termination deadline

No new post. It's Thursday. It was. Friday morning. Can't wait for Friday night cause Thursday was normal I mean Not bad. The weather sucked. Its cold again, -23. The taxi is warm. A total perk. I get to choose what, when, where and how I devote my time to my job. Taxi driving. Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat, Sun are my hours. I can't guarantee shit but if I say I'll be there I'll be there. I like to sometimes take Wednesdays off, Sundays too, sometimes. But lately I can't. I do, but money is tight. You gotta work. Ride the road. First fare. The fare I got before I got a Slurpee and Mentose fuel up at the sev, was a very short trip. Less then five bucks. I couldn't break her twenty dollar bill. "Free Ride" She got my card and got out. My second fare had change. I started my shift. An old client called me. She works in a massage parlor. She's just now turning twenty one. I met her when she was almost nineteen and she told me she was a hooker. She is one of my best clients. She saw me driving and sent out a text. I picked her up. Score. Later the short trip lady called me back. Tb's pub. I got there in ten minutes. She gets in and we go up to 152 st and wait for a crack deal. She picks up two hundred bucks worth. While I'm driving her to her house 2$ away she hands me a twenty and says "Is that enough." It was more then enough. Then while we were waiting for the red light to change she looked at me and said "I'm a working girl." I was like "oh. You should stop that!" She disagreed and said she's getting a number tomorrow. She said "If you know anyone who wants to fuck just call me up." See kids I get propositioned by whores to pimp them out. It's getting tougher and tougher economically. The twenty one year old girl said "I only had one client, and he was a cheap bastard." I don't know if a thirty seven year old crack head hooker would make very much money. I bet there is going to be more hookers, with the economic crunch and all. Tonight was cool. Melo. I didn't feel the crunch.

Sunday night is not a good night to die

Tonight was new, a life changer. Tonight was a Sunday night that led into a Monday mourning. Tonight was more then just last night. I drove a dude who works for the Emergency Medical Services. EMS. Well he told me a story about this domestic dispute that he had to respond to. The Women wanted to press charges so the RCMP went to arrest the man for beating his women. Well on their way there they were shot at by the guy. He had a high powered riffle. The EMS guys had to stand down while the RCMP swat team came to the rescue. The dude was a looser he would not stand down. A few hours later they heard a muffled gun shot. Suicide! At least it was over, the stand off. When they entered the house the man was laying on his floor mumbling "I need help, I need help." The high powered riffle took off half his face and he survived. The RCMP picked him up and put him on his porch. With Half his face missing the EMS jumped to action. "Stars AIR Ambulance was called in. The guy died on the way. I thought wow I don't get to see anything that gruesome ever. He showed me pictures. I kept driving. Later I came across a gang of hoodlums about to fight outside the Rockstar Bar on 109st. I quickly grabbed the camera to get footage. I had to erase some of the older stuff on my memory card, it was OK thought. I didn't miss a thing the bouncers in stab vest broke it up. I kept moving up 109st south bound. I was still holding my Camera in my hand when I saw a car on fire. I was glad I made room for some video. I start recording and as I approach the car I see a bunch of kids bouncing around. I got out of my car and screamed "Someone call 911 Fuck!" Someone was already making the call. As I got closer with the camera I realized the kids were jumping around the car trying to get someone out."Oh MY GOD" the dude was still inside. My camera ran out of memory. The man inside the vehicle kept burning. He kept burning for a long time. People were frantically trying to get him out. Breaking windows. The door was fucked up. They could not pull him out cause he was wearing a seat belt. No ambulance no cops, Nothing. He was burning alive. There was a group of us, about 8 people. We watched the man burn. His face was on fire. All I could do was curse the cops, they have been tolerating the drunk driving. I don't know if this guy was drunk when it happened but by judging the level of damage he was speeding fast. Still no cops, there were kids throwing snow in the car trying to keep the flames off the guy. No use. At a certain point I saw a piece of his face fall off. Very traumatic. People were surrounding a car that was on fire. Big flames. I thought the truck was going to blow up. I was beginning to realize we were going to watch a man burn alive. Very scary, incredibly surreal. I felt nothing at the time except contempt for the EPS, Edmonton Police service for not acknologing the amount of driving under the influence in Edmonton. No check stops nothing ever, just propaganda scattered all over the media. All lies. I watched the man burn for a long time. Everyone backed off because they were scared the car would blow. Still no help. One of the onlooker was a cop who tried to tell me that the cops can't do anything. She was full of shit. While the truck was on fire in front of us with a man slowly burning to death she told me "our judicial system protects the criminal". I told her "then write a blog about it and tell the public the truth." I'm trying to change my world by telling anyone who gets in my cab about my blog that tells people about what really happens. How come there is no cop out there trying to spread the God honest truth? Pussy's! that's why they're cops. Fuck the system. I don't know if the guy that was in that truck was drunk, but at that moment I hated the system. The Ambulance finally arrived. They were not able to put the fire out right away. It was hot. They guy must have been in the inferno for seven to eight minutes. Then the ambulance came and he was in the car for another 10 on top of that. The fire department had to pry open the door. The man was removed, he was twitching. I remember seeing his face for that second....it was falling apart. I don't think he is gonna want to survive. I don't think he will be able to. I prayed. I prayed as I watched him get taken out, I prayed the whole time it was happening. I prayed the whole way back to the west end, I prayed as I was driving behind a couple of teenage boys swerving around the road. They were drunk, they tried to conceal it as soon as they realized I was following them. I followed them for a long time. I prayed that a police cruiser would drive by and stop them. Never happens. I did not curb the danger. I called 911 with a fare last night, the dispatcher on the other line made me feel guilty about calling in a drunk. So I watched these boys in front of me. I prayed they didn't kill anyone but themselves.

I love my west end crew you are the best (you guys should start a swingers club)

What a fucking night. So Union Hall, a haven for the restless and Young. I pick up a foursome. Two dudes and a couple of ladies. They were kicked out of the last cab for not giving money up front. I found this out while we were driving past the other taxi and one of the Dudes (the hockey player) mooned the other driver. While I was driving them to St.Albert the boys became progressively worse, they started to seriously put down the girls. The hockey player told the girl up front to suck my dick. I told him he's acting like an asshole. The girls were older then the boys. I didn't understand how a couple of women could be hanging around such abrasive spineless fuckers. The boys kept ragging on the girls. The one in the front seat got hurt when the other guy said she was a slut. He laughed at her when she said "that night someone drugged my drink, I don't remember what happened" the boys just kept laughing at her. Then we dropped the first girl off. The two bozo's got out to piss. I told the girl in the front that she should not hang out with these lowlifes. I also believed that the worthless fuckers were going to try to ditch the fare. I told her. She took out her ten bucks. The fare was at 40$ by then. None of them had any money. The one girl gave me her 10 but that wasn't going to cut it. The hockey kid tried to sweet talk her after she left. I was left alone with the other guy, I asked him for money. He had non, he even said "should I run now?" I got out of the car and yelled to the girl "listen If these boys ditch me I'm coming back to your place with the police." Asshole hockey puck kid came running back. He had 20$. By the time I got the last kid home the fare was 60 bucks and the kid was so angry he had to use his moms credit card to pay his own bill. Worthless rich St.Albert kids. Hey chick from the front seat, you don't have to listen to me, but after you left you both were degraded by both of the boys. So if you decide to maybe go out with the hockey puck kid, he'll drug your drink and watch his whole hockey team Gang Bang you. Be wise girl ditch the idiots and find yourself some decent company. That other girl, she was dumb too. They said they were going to egg her house.
That almost destroyed a really good night, but I trucked on. I trucked on to this classy hotel, and picked up these two. At first I thought I was picking up one girl I was stocked, but then her massive boyfriend came. I started telling them about St.Albert and how pissed I was and how I could not wait to write my angst out on the blog. Then the dude said "You got a blog, I'll give you something to write about." This guy was a stud, big looked rich and his woman was drop dead gorgeous, no word of a lie. So he says "we just came back from a night out with a swingers club." My jaw dropped. I was thinking this bombshell of a women is a swinger. Then he said "You play games with the other couples to warm up. You pick out a number and you do what the list tells you to do" he laughed a little. "Some people got, suck her tits, another couple pulled kiss passionately, I pulled bend your women over and fuck her hard." My jaw dropped again. I was astonished at how open they were. Then he said "I couldn't do it, she was on her knees sucking me off but I couldn't get hard while 22 other people watched." I told him I understood. Sex can be a scary thing especially in front of over twenty people. They explained how they became swingers. Wow was all I could think. They were a young couple. A sexy young couple who just came back from fucking a room full of people, that was one of my most unique fares. Thanks guys.