guarding the gates

there is this lump in my throat, there is the thing that I keep remembering.  It's these thoughts that keep me holding my guard up but everything keeps getting away. I don't want a relationship with anyone that doesn't matter. But I make people matter in my life, so it sucks when you give into some and give them the trust, and they break that. That trust, that direction you tell people you're going. So many are looking for a direction, they think that direction in life has something to do with the relationships you're in but that is not the case. The only way you know where you're going in life is when you know that you can trust yourself. I know that those fat cat individuals love to run your instinct into the ground, and they're right to do so, especially if they are more successful in life than you are. The successful people got there by getting people to need them. But they only offer guidance that can help them. They don't look past themselves. That makes sense, they stay stronger then most, they're able to create legacy's and often create an appearance of someone or something that actually cared, but that's seldom the case.