you don't use it you lose it!

"Nothing seems sacred anymore!" He was yelling at me again, again and again.
  "Why do I put up with this bullshit!' I told him for the hundredth time "If you want to act like a jack ass, get the fuck outta my house!" I was serious this time! I wanted him gone.
  "I'm not leaving!" he screamed.
  "Why the hell do you have to scream all the time!" I asked him, he was so juvenile. "You're such a rigid son of a bitch!" he was always acting so hard. It bothered me now.
  "What!" he asked, "I thought!" he stopped. dropped his hands and gave up. "Fuck.. I'm tired of this shit!" When do you think we're gonna be able to do this!" He asked, his face was so serious.
  "You always look so sad baby!" I said to him, rubbing his shoulders. His face had begun to mellow. "Just let go!" I told him. "You need to relax or it's going to kill you!" The stress was changing him.
  "I don't want to go back" he said smiling. His face looked so much younger then mine. "I don't want to go without you!" He was sad.
  "You have to!" I was getting uncomfortable moving back and forth, "you're so able to adapt baby! I can't fucking do it anymore!" I was tired, "I don't want this anymore!"
  "Why?" it was all he could say. He would just keep asking whether I was there or not. "You don't think it matter s do you? You don't think that our love matters do you?"
  "No!" I told him. And again he started yelling.