"I kept your tooth brush for a real long time! It was something I just did, I didn't want to, but I was alone. I am alone. And it's ok. Except I'm like not a kid anymore. I want to do something, and that fucking toothbrush had got to go. Whatever eh." After hearing the beep, there was a disconnection. The message was over.
Listening to it gave me the jitter. The words haunted me. Our relationship was awkward too. We were opposites, just the age difference alone caused so many issues. My parents never could understand that we could be together. There was the baby too. My mom had no idea, we were bad, I definitely grew, but it wasn't just about sex. We did things together. I read out loud for the two of us. We did so well in school when we studied together.
"I don't love you anymore!" I can remember the way it sounded, "You don't know me, you never did" I can remember the way I made it sound, we were finished. I could here my heart beating, I could feel it. It hurt, that pain, sharp.
I remember my mom telling me "You're father loved running away, he said he was going to the ends of the world, and he never came back." She was right, I couldn't just go on believing in dreams. She's full of shit though, cause I know what she's still waiting for,"He's just your father."
My toothbrush, it was there for so long. I remember leaving it there, I remember leaving my glaces that first night.I knew we were going to be together I just wanted to make sure.
When we met that first night, I could see it, everything that was going to happen, except I though we were going to be happy forever, I wanted to be happy forever.
"I slept at someones house last night" I told the truth that day. It was the reason we broke up. "We had sex" I said, I told the truth. "I can't respect myself, because I don't know who I am yet!"
No comments:
Post a Comment