Tuesday, March 1, 2011

feels good for some and others too, but not everyone.

It wasn't so long ago, that the two of them set off to take on the day. Remembering that day was always hard for Eliot. He was a sensitive person, life hadn't been the kindest medium for him. He wasn't an unhappy person but he definitely held a grudge against a few people. The worst of which, where he most often thrust most of his negative energy was in the direction of his family, mostly. He wasn't an angry creature, but he was an animal.
Eliot was twelve years old the day he embarked on a journey to the dentist with his mother. Twelve years old when he wondered away from his beloved mother on a subway car. He lost his mom heading toward the dentist. He remembered that day so well, he understood why he got lost.

"It's six thirty in the morning!" she yelled through her teeth, upset. He was standing over top of her, pillow in hand ready to blow. "Eliot, you're twelve years old, why don't you grow up.?" His mother was visibly upset. He had was elated, he felt great. "Mom you deserve it, you know I hate the dentist." he said, still standing over her, armed heavily with his own pillow. "You're right Eliot, next time the dentist tells me you've got a hole the size of kingdom come in your molar I'll tell em to just screw right off." She rolled over, he stood there for a minute before he started pocking around his mouth with his finger.

Later that morning, after he let his mom sleep in a bit longer, he came into the room with pancakes. "Oh my God Eliot, who taught you to make such awesome pancakes." she asked him, knowing full well it was his grandmother. Eliot didn't answer "Mom when is the appointment?" He asked her, he was scared. The last time he went to Dr. Zorododsky's for a filling he left all busted up. "Mom are you gonna ask them to be nice to me." He asked. "Yes sweetie, off course they'll be nice to you." she answered. Remembering the last incident she turned to him and said " you know Eliot, you're gonna have to wear one of those rubber things again, it's not gonna be nice." He was aware for some reason everyone, even his mother, though it was him who'd behaved badly that last time, but it wasn't.

After breakfast, the two made their way to the train station on foot. It was only a fifteen minute walk, the weather was right. The snow crunched underneath their feet, Eliot was nervous. "Mom?" He asked. "Yes" she said looking straight ahead toward the horizon. "Why don't you believe me?" he asked. He was clearly upset, she smiled, "are you talking about that last visit." "Mom!" he shouted "Why?".  She stopped, Eliot turned and looked at her, the sun was just starting to make itself  present with its morning light directly behind his mother. It forced him to squint. "Eliot." she made eye contact, "Eliot, Eliot!" she screamed grabbing his shoulders, "no one wants to hurt you on purpose!" Standing there, arms hanging, Eliot kept his head down, "Mom" he waited for her to interrupt him, she didn't "Mom" he said with a calm collected voice. "The last time we were at the dentist, he asked me to wear that mask." Eliot remembered, Looking up at his mom, her head directly in the way of the now vibrant sun she was a silhouette, dark in the foreground, burnt in the back. He had to squint to see her. "He asked me if I wanted a flavored gas, he said do you want bubble gum or licorices?  I said bubblegum, told him that I hated licorices. But then when I got it, it was licorices." he stopped. She started to walk forward. "I didn't say anything because I thought it was an honest mistake, but mom." He looked up, "when he jabbed me with the needle it hurt. Mom, it wasn't because I could feel any pain, it was because the dentist looked weird. He scared me, and it still does." He immediately felt better telling his mother how he felt as they rounded the gates to get onto the train.

"Mom" he asked, can I please get a new dentist. Turning slowly toward Eliot, his mother reached into her purse and fished out a transit ticked. Here, take it, we got to go.

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