I wasn't sure what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it! It was so valuable to me, to talk to those kids as honestly as possible. I can imagine having a car or a van, an economical vehicle. I can imagine the time I was their age and more fucked up then they were. They seem normal to me now. Like they don't stink or nothing! Some of them were goofs! but that was probably because I was a goof to them. I guess some of them had probably hurt people. I remember being sixteen and seeing the violence. But fuck I remember being twelve and seeing the same thing. I don't connect with the violent.
Walking up Whyte ave one night I remember I was drunk. I was twenty one! Before the drug addiction but it was definitely well on its way. We were walking up Whyte ave and there were these girls, one of them was hot, she started talking to my roommate, there was a bunch of us. We were on a excursion back home to keep getting fucked up! There was like five or six of us and these girls started chatting us up. It was a typical engagement, on like 101 st and Whyte! I remember that all of a sudden this kid popped out of nowhere! "Bang" he slammed his fat face right into our conversation. He was drunk too! He was aggressive and the funny thing was my reaction was to move along, and someone else reacted differently, someone that I was with, their reaction to the mans aggression was to punch him. I saw it, but it didn't register!I was too drunk. It had happened behind me! I didn't care, it wasn't any of my business! So I though.
"What'd you do to my brother!" his sister! I guess! came flying up to me and my roommate screaming, "what'd you do?" she kept repeating loudly, "He won't get up!" I can almost remember looking over at my roommate then back at the girl, her drunken eyes full of tears and fear because of what had just happened to her brother.
I ran! We all just ran! We weren't far from our apartment! I wasn't scared at all! I just remember knowing that I had to get out of there!
When we got inside we kept getting fucked up.
Today I met a kid that lives in Riverbend..... in the valley.... in a tent! He's a documentary film maker! Awesome, he's huge! Real nice too! So I asked him what he's done!
"....Well I do things like let the Mormons indoctrinate me and document it!" I thought that was cool. He said a few other outlandish things he had decided to experiment with! The whole time I was talking to him there was a bunch of kids listening.
WHere's your camera? I asked him, can i see the footage? He laughed. this huge fucking nineteen year old native kid laughing. "I sold it!" he said, and then I laughed. He had mentioned that he was a user earlier so I asked him if the cash went to drugs. He kept laughing, the sweetest laugh! "I don't need that much money for the drugs I do!" Everyone one else in the room understood him except for me. "I drink cough syrup!" that deep voice straining a bit as he said it! "Plain Jain over the counter Robitussin!" he was lifting his feet up onto the table! folding his hands over his stomach. You're a big dude I said, looking him over. We both just stared at each other. Then I blurted out "so you fucking sold your camera, and all you're infiltration video on the hard drive for a bottle of Robitussin?" I was smiling. So was he. He was cool! Sharp! "No" he answered bringing his eye's to mine. "I needed to buy a bus pass to get to my tent in Riverbed!" His story amazed me and I promised him I was gonna get my gear together and we were going to make a movie!