Thursday, November 16, 2017

Picard is Bald like me

Where in the world have I been. It's like i haven't been able to see myself for the Boss that I am.

The world has a way of filtering things so that "life" doesn't feel real. Some people think this is only a simulation. Like the images we see on the internet.

I have been a huge advocate for this. Now that we are in a space in time where tech has caught up to what I'm thinking I realize that I get to draw myself into reality from spaces like this blog.

This has been a staple in who I have become, if it were not for what I created here I would have never understood what it going on out there.

Here I am beginning to map out who I want to be in the future.

First thing is that power won't have to be something that I hold on to through force. I have already nurtured enough people out there to have a space that I can work with that does not involve anything confrontational. I am going to be well informed about the things going on around me.

The Internet is no longer a source of information like it used to be. Now it's a way of controling the youth.

I can see myself succeeding at developing an entourage out engaged young people who will be in a position to change the course of mankind.

Friday, November 10, 2017

My ego is weightless

"ooooh! My GOOOOOOD!"

It feels good to be free. It's easily been years. I'm learning to cope with the anxiety of being a Man.

Not that it matters tho. There is still so many things to get done. Whether I'm moving forward or just sitting back. I'm going to have energy pulling me up.

Life isn't that hard, wanting to stick around is simple too. As long, of course as you don't try to be free.

The blog is so much better than the Vlog. Everyone is watching Vlogs, blogs that suck. Here there's only ... who the fuck is there.

People, bots, women?

It's bots and spammers and me.

I am this place and this is my space, and wow I'm good at this place.

I've been anxious so often. And I have been able to translate anxiety at times in a good way, and some time the anxiety gets the better of me.

I miss being free to just do what I did when I was writing the taxi blog. Just dumping everything out every night.

It did it for me.

Vlogs don'd do that.

So I'm back... no biggie I guess. But I'm sure if I ever do get a reader they'll be happy to know that I'm here.

Comment people, especially if you've gotten this far.

As for the day, the truth, the reason I'm here. To write out my life.

Outside of the fact that I needed to spend over 600$ on a new alternator,  it was pretty good.

I've been anxious at work. You see, I actually seem to have a funny feeling about working where I do. I love the job, but I'm just not sure about what it is that I do at the store that I'm at.

I make videos that sell stuff, and I'm the best at it. And by "the best" I mean "THE BEST". Why am I the best? Well it's a series of things.
First of I'm a pleaser, I love to please people. Second I'm efficient, I just get every job done. Third, I feel connected to the work I do. Even if it's bad, it's mine and I am attached to it.

Some of the work lately, doesn't' reflect my best qualities. That doesn't mean the work isn't the best, it just means that, it's no longer pushing my limits. So that's why I'm back here.

To push back at something, to make myself stronger. To build something new, even if it's out of the old.

This is still the richest province in Canada and we are still in the capital city.

The city belongs to me and I'm proud of it.

Thanks for being here blog, you are 1 in 6 billion and there'll never be anything close to you.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Can't stay up late enough yet

As I was driving home last night from my night job i was so impressed by the lack of traffic that I actually took a breath and smiled.

I'm a road rage fanatic! And unfortunately, my little boy rarely gets to see coming home from work, he''s often forced to witness, the monster, while I'm driving him to school in the mornings.

Poor guy doesn't get the fact that I love driving. 

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Not the worst

Just when you think you know everything....  you realize that you know nothing. The worst part is that you have to find out how small you really are if you actually want to get anywhere. This is awful. Not knowing who or what I am over and over again is driving me crazy.

I do know that there is people out there that are aware of different things then I am,

I kind of realized that the way Im living is really different then other people. Because of that I don't really fit in well.

And not just in the good ways. I'm starting to segregate myself and it's not in the right way. It's in the I'm an idiot kind of way.
It's rough... being an idiot. Or at least finding out that you are one. It's the worst.

Monday, November 30, 2015

heater noises

Back at it. and that's that.

Need to write it out I guess, i've done it once I can do it again.

What really sparked this post was a desire to tell you that, " Hey maybe we shouldn't have met. That maybe the thing that I've been defending is the reason things never went well for me."

Like what's my past about anyway. Is it meant to be?
Am I doing what's meant for me.

Probably not. I want so much more. I can see the whole world and it leads me back to the past. To my youth, my desires.

I can deal with today, I can say that I'll have more of exactly what I want. I can tell that little pissed off kid from high school that life is better then you can imagine.

Can I get him to listen? Well that's the art. That's what I've been destined to do. Find myself over and over,  I'm so full of shit.

It's not forever, and it's over all the time, before it starts.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Brothering me

Neurotic wasted energy, gallops around me while I think of you. this is my past. this is my past.

Wasted energy isn't always bad, I mean if it's bad energy that's getting wasted then it's good. We need to burn that shit out.

I saw this guy that I knew in university. I didn't think he recognized me, I'm wearing clothes that are much more fashionable now days, I noticed he looked great, he was fashionable since I met him.

It's good to change, to start new things and forget about the past. Like lovers you abandoned that didn't abandon you, till you just thought about them and you realize that actually yes, they've let you go too.

Time is the key, the teller of it, the ticker of the truth. It's relentless and it drives us toward what we're meant for.

The faster if goes the faster we miss out on many things we thought we were going to be focused on.

My family, has changed, grown and gotten smaller. My family is really what I make of it. It's not like there is a lot of us being born.

Wasted energy is fine if we waste it on what it needs to be wasted on, cause it's all wasted anyway. and recycled, over and over again

You think that sometime in the near future it'll cycle into me...

Run me through.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

the hat you wanna wear

Following your gut is one thing, being a glutton is another. My life's been so good I don't want to give anything up.

One thing I don't want to stop doing is finding ways of getting to know people.. I want to get to know as many people as possible. Like in real life, not just through social media. You have to just do it. Or you die. Most people might push you away, and that's ok but it's important to do what you want.

I want to full fill my fantasies while I'm still old enough to do it.

I've been definitely moving in the right direction, and it feels good.

The worst part about getting what you want most of the time is what happens when you don't get what you want...

Then you realize you're probably an addict and you should chill out.

Monday, October 13, 2014

the art of this is bullshit

SHooting the shit over and over again. Looking for anyway to getting out into the world and back inside my mom... strange how we see ourselves as adults, when we're not.

I've been thinking about discipline and I think that it has something to do with success. Now we're disciplined in our own way. We've all let ourselves choose our evils that keep us moving forward. Hens shooting the shit over and over again.
I've been getting everything I want out of life in the last few years, I've learned my self worth. I haven't earned it, but I've learned it.
This is a feeble world run on some pretty thin and miserable set of rules.
Every time I set myself up to see what's next I make sure that it's between another womans legs.

I use my face though, with confidence, makes me feel a little less feeble in a world where a woman can be seduced by a poor artist in less than three sentences.

But that's just the way it is. The artist has that kind of foresight into the world. Being able to taste the sweetness that comes form that art of seduction has everything to do with being an adult.

Saturday, September 27, 2014


What I've wanted to tell you for so long is that you were right! Yeah! you were right! I'm actually completely indebted to you. If if was not for you I'd be sleeping in the streets.

I'm going to be sleeping on the streets is I don't decide to change. The world is turning into something not everyone understands and I'm sitting here thinking about what others are thinking. I don't want to deal with drunk of speed freaks. They don't have any minds.

 So many people are mimes... just stuck. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Scene 2 act 1

He's woken up by a harsh ray of sunshine. His eyes open. We pan out to see him sleeping on a busy city street's bus bench. He's down town. There's people passing him. In Both directions. He makes his way into a sitting position. He yawns.... pats his hands around. And when he can't find what he's looking for his eye widen and he begins to panic...

He imidietly reaches into his bag thats stashed under the bench... his eyes widen again as he gets a grip on his camera.

"You ain't much! but you're all I got" Right as he say's this he hears his stomach growling... he looks both way thinking of something to eat.

"You're all I got... we have to finish this project together. Before we're allowed to eat."

He takes out a cigarette and a prescription bottle full of pills.. The smile he had staring into the lens of his own camera is over come with the face of a desperate addict. he takes two pills before he stands up and starts his day...