Saturday, February 28, 2009

Watch your nipples fall off

SO you guys want a horror story, well then go to the cinema. What happened tonight is not that exciting. My first fare barfed. Good thing I got convenience bags. Bada boom, super puke savers. First he got it all over the side of the car(the outside). We were on the Yellow head and he stuck his face out into traffic and hurled. Beautiful sight, rugged. Yes, midterms are finito. Kids get fucked up right after the test. I drove these two dudes from North Carolina, I fucking adore Americans. They seem to understand what they are in the world. These guys wanted a good time so they went to the Ranch. The 25 year old picked up a thirty something women and convinced her to get him some blow. I told him Canadian blow consists of Meth. He was like "guess I'm gonna get real messed up" and laughed. His buddy picked up a younger lady, neither of them could think about anything else other then doing some rails then smoking some Canadian chronic and banging some local tail. You go boys, Hit that shit. Just remember if they can hook up all the drugs under the sun you might get burnt. Need to double wrap that money maker cause those wives you got at home I'm sure are waiting for your sunshine STD free. Stay safe though, and cheat on your women. Yesssss. I think I'm kind of a chauvinist pig. I love women, but I don't understand them. The taxi lets me watch people from such a unique perspective. I fall in love with most of my clients, I love the honesty and the speed I establish a relationship. I don't really fall in love I just totally submerse myself in their lives. As best I can and sometimes I don't want them to leave. They get the fuck out though and I go on my merry way, love or no love the recession is gonna blow us out of the water.
Fuck Fort Mac! (that comes from almost all the fares I've driven that lived there as children) it's going to be a scare in Canadian history. But hey just take another crack hit you'll forget about it, then cheat on your spouse. And don't tell me that doesn't happen I drove her home last night from his place sucker.


Victoria Von Swarovski said...

Hahaha I sure did
Man I feel like pretty dead now
He wouldn't go to sleep last night he just kept ranting and eating.
He was passed out on the couch right about the time I got a taxi to work. Hah.
Thanks for the ride.
Will call again soon.

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