Friday, February 13, 2009

Overnight Ryan Maier You got balls brother

Whose got stories. The guy on 100.3 the Bear does. Ryan this one is for you. But before I start, kids from Grant MacEwan who were taught by the Juniper, I feel for you, I dealt with the same crappy teaching style at GURU, the almighty graphic school of shit. Any who. So tonight I see a couple walking up Argyle. They're moving west. I can tell they're going to need a cab cause they're just off of Calgary trail and there really isn't anywhere to go. So I pull up to pick them up. The chick, who's hot as hell by the way, is wearing heels and a short sleeve shirt (it was cold last night). I didn't even pay attention to the dude cause the girl looked reasonable. Well they get in. "Thank you so much for stopping" she says. The guy is incoherent. "What happened?" I ask. She tells me that they were kicked out of the last cab cause dude wasn't acting nice. I figured he was being racist, but then I took a look at him and noticed that he had thrown up all over himself. "Fuck" I think to myself out loud. "Are you going to get sick in the car again?" I ask. She responds "He can throw up on me" his head falls into her lap. I start talking to buddy, hoping he can hear me in that drunken subconscious of his. "Dude this chick loves you enough to let you throw up on her you better remember this tomorrow." He looked like a douche. He was toast. It was his birthday. He went to the Union and they over served him. They should have been fined by the looks of him. Well about half way to Lister hall, the University residence the boy starts filling the hot chicks lap with vomit. I heard her say "ooh it's warm" I pulled over and told the kid to be civil and toss his cookies on the road like a human being. I got to talking to the girl after he had regurgitated what was left in his 19 year old birthday gut, turns out she likes this guy.(probably for the whole semester) I asked if he know how she feels about him. She said " I don't think so" as she patted his head resting on her lap that was covered in his vomit. Wow now that's a good love story. My only issue with it is that asshole kid threw up all over the chick and she took it willingly, but the mother fucker won't remember what he did tomorrow and this poor girls love will go unnoticed by Mr.Vomit. It was a good story of romance wasn't it. Damn right, it was good enough for me to call up the night DJ on the bear and tell him the whole story. He loved it. So later that night I pick this kid up off of 107 ave. The ghetto. He gets in and tells me to go to 154 and Stony Plain road. On the way there I hear my voice coming out of the radio. I tell the kid to listen. We hear the story on the girl and the lap full of vomit. My fare opens up to me. He's just an 18 year old kid who's hustling, the first address we drove to was to deliver a piece. Crack! to this little native dude. Then We drove to CallingWood to pick up some Tuna, you know the Kush. He told me stories about the hustle. He was honest with me. Then the dude from the Bear played me Mr.Cabdriver by Lennie Kravits. What a blast. I'm so happy someone was there to here me telling a story on the radio, even though it entailed me helping some kid dig himself deeper into the Buizznass. He was a father too.
Lennie You Are Welcoem to Ride with me Anytime


Anonymous said...

Thank you again for picking us up, and I am really sorry for any mess there was after. Your re-telling of the story (minus the love part haha) just made my morning and I don't think we could have run into a better cabdriver. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Ryan is going to love that you posted about him.


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