Sunday, February 8, 2009

Junior Picaso

The bars were packed tonight. The women were gorgeous tonight, the men were hot and bothered. The roads were slushy. I drove these two girls to the Union, one had red hair. Later they called me back, they said that the Union sucked (the Union is for yuppies). They asked me where they should go, I took them to Blues on Whyte. Rocking. Ladies you gotta have an open mind, just because the men outside looked a hundred years old doesn't mean the party's gonna suffer, it just makes it a hundred times better. Fuck I loved dancing to the Blues before I actually got them. Now I'm a hundred years old but I'm making it. There was this personal fare, she wanted to take her cousins home but some guy leached on to one of the girls. I took my fare, her female cousin and the sleazy asshole to his place. The whole ride there the girl in the back seat kept saying "I'm not one of those girls" and the sleazeball rig pig type guy just kept nodding and moving in closer and closer. She started kissing him, then she almost sat on him. By the end of the trip she was ready to mate with the player. My fare (her cousin) convinced her to stay in the car and let the one night stand man go home alone. Except about a block away the slutty girl in the back seat realized she was "one of those girls" and asked me to flip a bitch so she could spend the night with a guy who was going to kick her out before morning. He was the type that would do it and not even toss her the cab fare. The sad part was that it was a family outing and the guy had tried to get it on with all the girls in the crew, on the way back from the dinks house we picked up what was left of my fares family group. They were devastated to hear that their one cousin was so easy. It made me laugh. Later on, after the bars were locked up for the night I was called to this address off of Jasper ave. When I got there this girl ran out, in tears. She wasn't wearing any shoes. Before she could get into my car her boyfriend popped out and demanded she come back. She listened. You could tell it was an abusive relationship. You could tell she played his game. You know it's too bad some women are so weak. I left that trip behind, it made me sad. Then I drove to the 711 on 82 ave and 103 st. There was this guy there I had driven before. I wrote about him, he was using his credit card from work to pay me and buy crack. Well it seems that he lost his job and was begging for money on the street corner. I gave him a couple of bucks and told him the cracks gonna kill him. He said he was fine. I told him he was asking random people for money at 4 am on the street. He laughed, so did I. I wish I was a 22 year old psych major. God it's those damn red heads.
YOU GOT THE KEY NOW SHUT UP AND DRIVE ASSHOLE

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

(damn red heads. you mean damn).

'dame' is an old fashioned word for a lady (like 'broad')

redheads said...

Well that was fun! But we are BOTH red heads dammit! a psyc major and a nurse.... what more could you want! Thanks for the awesome night. Sorry we didnt have an open mind to go to the blues bar but well the old man that looked like an anorexic santa clause kinda creeped us out. THANKS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

can't believe we didn't make the blog.... from the 'frat' girls