Tuesday, November 30, 2010
We don't have a couch!
Talked to the prof to make sure i'll survive. I might just fall of the deep end though, Who cares....I do. I don't want to fail a God Damn stats class because of bullshit. Fuck. I understood the massive computational question but the fucking multiple choice was hard as fuck. It destroyed me. Not just me, by the end of the class everyone but the dumb ass and my tutor were still sitting trying to calculate the answers. I gave up in the last 5 min. Fuck that's an hour and half of focusing. Been doing lots of stuff that forces me to be grounded for longer then a blog post. Who the fuck wants to be grounded, I'm wondering if i'm acting manic. If I am I have been for a long time. I might be on that end of the spectrum. God the last thing I would ever want is medicine to make me like the rest of them. They are all the same, they are all worthless, even if they can pass the course and I fail it. The only thing that would get me through failing stats class is the light, who was such a darling little Cheerio this morning, I was dead. Walking around neurotic... well not really, I knew I was as ready as I would ever be. the test was a fat bitch, hard!!! That's ok it's over now i can't do anything about it except talk to good old blogger about it. I am such a case of ADHD, I wish I could pound back kilos of amphetamines like in the past sometimes, but then I remember that I would end up alone and in the dark. But just because I don't take speed doesn't mean that I still won't end up in the dark...alone. I'm not gonna ever let that happen, there is only one thing that gets me out of bed in the morning and it is not that stats class. Fuck failure is not an option so it won't happen. What a bitch of a classssssss. FUCK! I love the prof he is the same guy that taught me sociology, this little dude from India. I don't actually learn anything from him but I think that the man is so cool, I can over look the fact that I might have to take his class again. I would not blame him, even though it is his fault, I'll take responsibility and say to myself "you're a fucking adult idiot".....But I'm not I can understand the topics, I just never focused on the course........I focused on everything But.................that's the way the cookie crumbles though....it's ok cause I also went shopping so me and the man can snack on something good tonight as we snuggle ourselves to sleeeeeeeep. Fuck I'm so tiered!