Friday, March 7, 2008

I never picked up a Hooker Untill my Girlfriend got Pregnant

Tonight tonight. What happened? Well there was my third fare an ex cab driver, this guy worked for the same company I do and even drove taxis owned by the guy I work for. He gets in at Lee Gardens Pub on the West-End and as soon as he steps in he asks "you a cop?" I say "no" then he says "good then we're going to be doing some driving." I Know what's going on but the guy keeps telling me that he knows all the tricks of the trade cause he drove a taxi for ten years ten years ago. He told me to go downtown, so I started driving in that direction. I knew what he wanted but I figured since the mother fucker was such an experienced driver that he could guide me. He did willingly. He gave me sixty bucks and told me "there was more where that came from just keep driving" so I did. We get to 107 ave and he starts his trolling, He sees nothing that he likes and we move on to the next street, 95th st still nothing. He tells me that there is this one that he really likes. We keep driving until we hit 118 ave, lots to choose from, none tickle his fancy. Until he sees her, ugly skinny and fucked up. "Stop that's the one" he screams so I turn into an alley and tell him that if he wants me to drive him back to the West-End he's going to have to step out of the vehicle to solicit her, he doesn't he just rolls down the window. Again I say "get out of the car, don't talk to her from inside my car until you finish the business you want to arrange with her outside." He gets out, I think to myself this guy is married . The two get in. I say "west" and the guy says "no Londonderry Mall", I move in that direction, the whore starts talking to her medicine man over the phone "hey it's China, no no I got money Ill be there in a few minutes, I got some wheels." We pull up to the mall and China steps out looks around and tells us to wait. I tell the guy to watch her, he had already given her 150$. We wait until a blue Olds Mobile pulls into a parking stall a few cars away. She goes and gets in, then another lady walks up to the car and gets in. They both get dealt a bag of crack suited for a John and his whore. The two hookers get out of the blue car and China comes running back to my taxi. She gets in, the two in the back talk in whispers for a few minutes, then China packs a pipe full of rocks and tries to get the guy to smoke it so he can prove that he's not a cop. I tell the two there is no crack allowed in the car. So we pull into an alley off of 127th st and the dude gets out an smokes and hit of crack. She is cool with him after that, but he has decided to kick little China doll out into the cold and move on with his bag of crack without her. In a way I applauded him, most men can't do that, even if they're married. He gave me 20 more dollars and I dropped him off a Ezzies in the Ramada Inn next to the airport downtown. That was 80$ worth of work don't you think?
Then there were the two dudes, they came from up North, they were rig pigs. They told me to drive them to the Fairmont Hotel McDonald, I thought classy for riggers but hey the dumb fucks go up there to rack in the cash. Later they told me that the company pays for the rooms. On the way we get to talking, they both seem legit, until the one who's been a rig pig since he was 17 decided he wanted to go to a Rub and Tug. I told them it's late, and most massage parlors are closed, they did not care, they had money in their pocked begging them to be spent on whores. We drove around for about fifteen bucks looking for a sleazy Jerk off Joint but we had no luck, they tried so hard too, they would run up to the doors to make sure they were closed. Then one of them said "fuck, I've made enough money why don't I just call up an escort, whats 400$ for a good blow job and fuck hahahaha?" The two laughed. I got them to their hotel and they left me feeling dirty, but this jobs been doing that lately. Then I had a couple of Mexican musicians smoke weed in the car, I told them not to but their friend just kept insisting "it's that guys birsday, please, don't kick us out" the smoking Mexicans stopped and I got them to their destination. There was more crap like that but I'm tiered so peace out. Oh and I haven't talked to the owner of the taxi about the theft yet but I'll fill you in if there is any juice behind it.

2 comments:

Elise said...

You know something there are some strange people out there. You must see more than the average person. Its so odd reading about that sort of life though. I know it exists but i hardly see it. Love all your posts. They're so original. xx

kelseXy said...

I'm sorry you've had such disastrous fares, I'll call you tonight, we might need a ride after work to the New City again. I think the man would like that. He's busy tomorrow with his girl. And I miss my favourite driver.
Been getting some creepy taxi people lately.
Talk to you later tonight!
Congrats on school!