Friday, September 7, 2012

I love everyone who's stroked my ego in all its stature

Who the fuck does is concern. "My family hates me" I remember thinking that shit about my family, remember being 13-22! Yeah They all think the same. About themselves. I remember having a 22 year old lover. She was beautiful and spoiled. I loved her and still do. There was this moment when she was needy and picking at me for being a weak poor lover. She hated being called my lover, she wanted to be my girlfriend, I had just finished getting fucked over by a cougar, a woman that was 14 years my senior. The Cougar was a psychotic mess, and she broke my heart. She smashed my camera at a concert she took me too for my birthday. She was jealous always, she was rich too, she bought me and I let her. I sold her my soul, I even almost let her convince me that I was all hers. The young woman I was seeing after the cougar was never jealous, but she was young and she was angry and she cheated on me.
When she told me she had slept with another man I left her at a bus stop, latter she told me "I never slept with him." She was lying, I took her back. She was beautiful, she probably slept with him because he took her on a date. He spent money on her so she sucked his dick, then lied to me and sucked mine. She was young when I was seeing her, and she was always so angry... she was also 6.2 feet tall and perfect. When she realized that I was used to having a woman that fed me, did my laundry and gave me money for sex she stopped bitching about how crappy I was about at being a shitty boyfriend. I was a lover, I never asked for her soul or for her to sell herself. I always nurtured her, I wanted her to outgrow that anger.
My brother is angry like that, he hates and blames everyone but himself. He's in his 30s. One of my old friends came to visit his family here in Edmonton, he lives in Van and hangs with my brother now. They're friends. He used to be my best friend, but this guy was a drag he is also gorgeous. When I was an unhappy spoiled 13-22 year old I hung out with people who were drags, fucking downers. Downers are angry because they can't see outside of themselves. They don't have to but they should. They don't realize that they're attitude fuels the defeat of everything around them. Always pessimistic. Their attitude draws them together to mutually adore each other and each others bad asshole soul sucking attitude. Those people loved to have me hanging around them, they still do. I bring optimism to all those around me. I don't cheat, I don't lie about being something I'm not! Life sucks and that's ok. If you love me I love you too!

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