I wanted to run away, I wanted to shrink down and die, but then I remembered how hungry I had been when I first started the trip. The walls of rain were still coming down and I cared. I wanted to succeed. "It'll stop" I sounded optimistic, but it'd been raining for such a long time.
"Yeah!" Fred whimpered gazing out the window. He was resting his elbow on the pane. His nose was pressed up against the glass. "I wish it would stop." The voice sounded like a hungry stomach.
"Fred" I Yelled, he jumped. It was a joke we played on each other. We were both laughing,I turned to him and said "I'm not ready you know." It stopped us both from laughing, cause it wasn't funny. I wasn't ready to go out there.
"You don't have a choice" Fred was always cold, his father was a utilitarian. "It's not gonna get any nicer out there." He sat there with his fat smile. He was Native. "I don't mind the shitty weather" he'd say. I'd always laugh at him cause he wore this worn out old coat.
"Where is your poncho buddy" I'd snikker "it's getting cold" he fucking hated it but it was some of the closest time we 'd ever spent together. I remember the day when I looked at him, and all I could see was a lonely kid, just hungry. "want a new coat?" I asked, he was just another kid. He got pissed off, and it made us both laugh again. "I got you a new coat if you want one!" he didn't care.
"Why aren't you ready," he stopped the giggling to ask. "what makes you so sure you can't cut it?" the way he sounded made me think that maybe I had a chance and he said it like that.
"What'do mean?" I was thinking of a way to change, the rain wasn't going away and I still didn't fee ready.
"It'll never let you be ready" he said smiling.
"You're right!" I agreed knowing I wasn't ready."She's not going to have an abortion though" it made both of us laugh loud.
"You're going to be a dad" his voice seemed deeper "you re going to have to be a dad, you re gonna have ta let