Thursday, June 2, 2011

did She just Flip in Flip out


Elizabeth was a very beautiful princess. She lived in a big castle at the top of a giant hill. She lived there with her father King James and her mother, Queen Lydia. There the three of them lived ever so unhappily. The Queen was always found in her dressing room, pillaging through her ever-changing array of new dresses, watching herself in her enormous mirror. King James was often found sitting alone in the skate garden pondering whether or not he should do a 360 flip over the coping, or a blunt to Fakie, he never found anybody else to skate with that would help him decide. And Elizabeth, well, she wasn't partial to dressing up, and she hated all the garbage her mother produced by buying up all those things. But she loved to skate and take photographs of her dad, but he wouldn't allow her inside the skate garden, he always said, "It's not for girls." 
One day while the Queen was out of her chambers on the royal balcony showing off her newest attire, made of brilliant and expensive fabric, the Kingdom was attacked. The sky filled with fire and everybody's cloths were scorched to their underwear, leaving most of the villagers scurrying home in shame. “There must have been a dragon” the Queen concluded, “judging by all that fire” she announced. The worst part was that the miserable dragon had caught the King in mid heel flip and kidnapped him, bringing him back to his cave.
Elizabeth was in shock, her father was gone, and she was standing in the middle of the skate garden when she realized finally what had happened. "That speedy Dragon just high-jacked my dad" she screamed angrily. She was so upset because he was actually hitting the pipe like no body's business when this all happened. "I've never seen him land an Indy that high before.” She sat there in her underwear thinking what was going to happen next.
The Queen who had been caught on the balcony during the cross fire was also standing, displaying her attire in front of almost the entire kingdom, was now stunned, with all her cloths gone. She stood there displaying herself without a single thread of magnificent fabric covering her undergarments. "Ahhh" she yelled, "this is preposterous" she exclaimed after looking around and realizing the King had also been taken and was no longer available to watch her model all the newest fashion trends. 
The Kingdom was in an uproar once they realized that the King had been kidnapped, no one knew what to do about the fact that they had no cloths. Everyone and their families huddled into the castle to seek refuge and guidance from the Queen. The Queen was already getting her royal designers ready working, threading together the newest in royal fashion. "What about the King?" asked Elizabeth, seeing that the people of the Kingdom were quickly relying on the Queens inadequate decision making processes. "Mom?" Elizabeth asked the Queen, "Are you going to send a search party out to find the king?" Queen Lydia turned to Elizabeth, who was still only in her skivvies, and said, "If you would like to find your father Elizabeth" lowering her tone and furrowing her brow she said, "You're going to have to find him yourself!" Most of the Kings people were inside the castle and they could hear the Queens annoyance. Elizabeth got up that instant to find her father. But before leaving she figured that she couldn't go find and fight a dragon in her underpants, so she put on a few of the old bags her mothers new fabrics had been packaged in. Queen Lydia stood and stared at her daughter through the reflection in the mirror. She looked horrified but said nothing other than “Go now,” while the rest of the kingdom stared at the brave young royal with their mouths wide open.
Elizabeth's decision to pursue her father made Queen Lydia smile, "I'll be heir to the throne forever, and all the riches of the Kingdom can be spent on keeping me dressed for success!" she said and all the villagers cried out joyfully surrounding the Queen, who stood reverent, revealing her new costumes to her captive audience. One outfit after the next the people watched the Queen put on. By the time Elizabeth had reached her first milestone, the Queen had the people up to their ears in wonderland couture, Cinderella shoeboxes, and DKNY garment bags that she tossed about in every which way. Elizabeth's outfit had already done her justice, just in the way it had kept the bugs off of her in the half dragon scorched forest. Then, all of a sudden, she was seen. He was an old Shepard crossing the bridge on the outskirts of her kingdom. "What's that you're wearing little'un?" he asked in wonderment. "Well sir!" answered Elizabeth, well aware that her appearance there in boxes and bags concealed her identity. "I am a knight sanctioned by the Queen to find the kidnapped king!" Elizabeth said it in a brunt, boyish manner, realizing that no one outside the Kingdom would know who she was. "Ah'then, here take this" said the man handing her the Kings Royal Skate, "the King Dropped it, I saw the Dragon carrying him, they flew that way together!" he said pointing toward the horizon and the setting sun. Then retuning to his pasture to tend to his flock he said, "my best wishes to ya young lad, this Kingdom" he said hesitatingly, "is relying on'ya."
Elizabeth was overjoyed with the sight of her father’s precious royal skate. Really there was nothing different about it from any other skate, other then it bore the royal insignia. Elizabeth kissed the worn bottom of the concaved piece of wood, right before jumping on it to ride and re beginning her journey toward the dragon’s lair, not as the Princess, but as a Knight on a quest to fulfill her newfound destiny.
Back at the castle Queen Lydia, oblivious to the fact that Elizabeth was so far from home, continued to revel in herself. Her new costumes began filling up every closet in every room of the ten thousand-room castle. The Queen spared no expense in her extravagance. Ruling under an iron fist, she began taxing the people of the Kingdom to pay for her pleasures. Forcing her people to rip the shirts off their backs to supply her with the materials necessary to appease her enormous apatite for new clothing.
At this point in time Elizabeth was well underway. The Skateboard had given her a real boost in energy and confidence. She felt like she was aligning herself with the stars, becoming one with the universe. Rolling behind the charred left overs of the dragons furry, she moved forward urging herself onward, to continue tracking the great beast down, if only to find her stolen father. She wondered if inevitably her journey would lead her back to her small village, where she got to watch her dear father, hit the half pipe, Frontside-flip the sixteen stair, or manual keeping his balance around the whole skate garden. "Oh Dad, I miss you" she whispered to herself.  Not too long after that she approached the Dragons den. There high, high, high above her was an opening into the heart of the nest. "I just know he's in there" she said to herself and began the assent, starting with strapping the royal board to her back. 
Overlooking the people of the Kingdom the Queen began to notice that they were a tad skinny, and often cold being almost naked with poverty. "Oh, how I miss my sweet King" she thought. "It seems as though the people have forgotten to keep themselves in his absence." She was heard muttering to herself. The Kingdom was a mess, every corner of the castle was filled with new Royal cloths, and all around the Queen lay boxes of packaging, papers and garbage. "I've exhausted myself!" she said to her servants "Please bring me my mirror so I can sleep with it above my bed." The servants did as they were told and the Queen began her sleep. Looking herself over in the reflection suspended above her face, she slept smiling that night, dreaming of Elizabeth and her father climbing a mountain together without her. Her dream quickly began feeling like a nightmare, yet she was so awfully tired from her exhaustion that from that very deep sleep she did not stir. Seeming in her reflection to her servants to be as peacefully comfortable as a newborn sheep sleeping next to its caring mother. The Queen's nightmares engulfed her with a cold loneliness.  
Elizabeth had scaled the steepest wall of the mountain with some difficultly, she thought about her father in the arms of the miserable dragon the whole time as motivation to reach her goal. When she made it to the top of the cliff she found herself in front of a large entrance, a mouth giving way to the inside of the cave. She stood there and was flabbergasted to find a door. On it she also found a big brass knocker. Without hesitation she pulled back the knob and struck at the metal three times and waited. She waited for quite a while until the Dragon came to the door. He stuck his nose out and licked his lips as he took in the sight of the knight in garbage armor. "Nice outfit" he said, actually impressed with the suit. Elizabeth slowly did a turn, like a model on the catwalk, allowing the Dragon to take in the unusual sight.  "Come on in,” said the dragon waving his tail at the young hero. 
The Dragons home was unlike any other home that Elizabeth had ever been in, or seen, or even read about. There were beautiful paintings on the wall but they were all upside-down and backwards. Elizabeth was enamored with the humble abode the instant she stepped through the front door. "So?" said the Dragon standing over the princess, "what's a fine knight like yourself doing up here at this time of day?" asked the fire breathing beast. Elizabeth stared at his callused, black nostrils and began to think about how a monster with such incredible power manages to keep such a lovely house. "I was told that King James would be found here." Elizabeth said in the most authoritative and masculine voice she could. The Dragon laughed sending out a short, controlled, spurt of fire. "Yes, yes, he his." answered the Dragon with a simile. "I picked him up today” he said giggling  “right out of the half pipe, he told me he was having the most awesome skate session of his life!" The Dragons spoke calmly crossing his arms and leaning up against the doorframe, "I needed to speak to him about some personal affairs, we go way back, the King and I." Elizabeth stood thinking about all the stories her father told her involving the dragon. "We'll common in then," said the scaly creature waving his hands toward a dimly lite room. There under the tungsten lamp sat King James rather happily enjoying himself with a tall glass of milk and an old looking book. "Welcome fine Knight" announced the King as Elizabeth entered the room wearing the recycled outfit. "What brings you here?" asked his majesty. Elizabeth immediately crouched on one knee and presented the King with his royal Skate. "Wow!" said the King evidently overjoyed with the offering. "Thank you fine Knight, I lost this during my journey here, it is a fine and trusty board." The King smiled as he looked over the fine piece of workmanship. "This board gave me one of my best sessions yet" he mentioned while the though of landing the heel flip over and over filled his mind. When abruptly, within a blink of an eye, his expression changed. "Enough about skate boarding!” he screamed,  “I have no one to skate with," the King said unhappily. Elizabeth still disguised in her uniform relinquished the board from her father and began free styling right there in the Dragons dimly lite room, right on the smoothly polished stone cave floor. The King was smitten by the young Knights ability to preform extremely difficult maneuvers.  Elizabeth was able to flip the board in one direction, and then another in a single bound. "How did you do that?" asked the King expecting answers, but the young Knight just continued preforming new and more elaborate tricks one after another. The King had never seen anything of the sort. "You must return with me to my Royal skate garden, and the two of us must continue pushing each other to do bigger and better tricks!" he said. Elizabeth was honored that her father had chosen her as an individual to share and want to skate with. She looked up at the King and said laughing, “that’s called progression your majesty, and it would be an honor!”
The Dragon sat and stared as the two enjoyed the skateboard together, he was suffering from some miserable spring allergies. "Ahhh choeeoow" sneezed the dragon out of nowhere. The only change that the sneeze produced was caused by a small ball of flame, a flame just big enough to burn the garbage off Elizabeth's face. Elizabeth in her excitement didn't even notice her mask had combusted into thin air, vanishing right off her face. She was too busy landing a 360 Shove-it to notice that the King had realized who the Knight really was. The King stared in amazement, "Elizabeth" he asked. She was unaware of the circumstances surrounding her situation to answer correctly; she was still trying to hold the board under her feet. "Elizabeth" cried out her father. The sound of her name said by his voice stunned her and she stopped what she was doing that instant. The deck came crashing down on the ground as the two, father and daughter, looked at each other for the first time in their lives. "Daughter, Elizabeth... I had no idea," said the King as the two embraced. 
The dragon was very apologetic on the flight back to the Kingdom, it was his allergies that caused him to sneeze and burn down off most of the peoples clothing. "No worries" cried Elizabeth, fully aware that any problems remaining the Kingdom still were for the King to solve. As the three neared the walls of the Castle they began to notice all the villagers were dressed in paper bags, and old garment boxes. "What's going on here," asked the king the moment he came into contact with one of his trusted soldiers. "It's the Queen Sir, she's used up all our cloth. Your highness we’re being forced to wear what she leaves behind." The soldier remarked looking at Elizabeth, "Sir!" he said "It was originally princess Elizabeth's idea to wear the boxes." The King smiled, "Well, lets go find the Queen," he said encouraged by the zeal in the soldiers voice and the twinkle in his daughters eyes.
They found the Queen fast asleep in her chamber. "Nothing will wake her!" said the Queens special servants to the King. "Nothing" answered the King right before calling out "Dragon." The dragon entered the room and let off a huge hazy sneeze. Everything was scorched, nothing in the room was left untouched by the flame, all the Queens cloths were burnt off and she began to stir herself awake. The Dragon was the first thing she saw the moment her eyes could perceive past their lids. The vision of the gigantic reptile like creature frightened her to the core. She hid under what was left of her burning bed and began crying hysterically. "Are you up honey?" asked the King happily. The Queen did not answer, she just hid under the bed until the Kings men lifted the chard remains of the royal bed off the petrified Queen and got her to relax enough to sit and have dinner with the family.
The meal turned out to be a fantastic, festive event, everyone from the King, the Queen, Elizabeth, the Dragon, and all the village people sat together. Everyone, but the Dragon and the King, were wearing an outfit made of recycled scraps. Even the Queen, who promised to give up all her old clothes to charity, was seen sporting a paper back dress. Elizabeth asked her to start gathering all the designers and artists to start fashioning up “The Recycled Summer Collection.” After that Elizabeth found out that Dragon’s fire was an excellent source of light for her photographs. The two began shooting the Queen in her new sustainable outfits. Their unique style of fashion photography became know around the world and Elizabeth’s pictures of her mother in paper bag dresses were revered by fashionista’s around the globe, yet still, there was nothing that made the young princess smile more then capturing the families moments together happily ever after, and of course freezing the Kings image of the man in mid Heelflip.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

What an awful story.....you suck!

Anonymous said...

my class didn't think it was awful!

Anonymous said...

in fact, they really quite enjoyed it (so at least you know somebody appreciated it, big time!!)

bumatom said...

that made me cry....

bumatom said...

hope you edited it, I'm being graded so I'm expecting awful results...I realized it needed a second set of eyes after I handed it in. ;)as usual.
thanks for making my day!

Anonymous said...

lies...lies..lies.

Anonymous said...

truth, truth, truth!

(does a compliment taste so bad to you that you have to spit it out every time?? Swallow it!)


....how'd ya do on it, btw??

Anonymous said...

not sure yet!!!

if I can swallow a compliment that unreal, it's really a sweet thing to say, but if it was with my first children's story im dizzy. Might have to start writing more! Don't know? feeling dizzy!

Anonymous said...

Well, if this helps, I read several dragon stories, and this was their favorite! It has aspects similar to The Paper Bag Princess, but with a modern twist. There were MANY great aspects to it (I'd list them all, but it will either go to your head, or you will spit it out - I know this from experience!)

Seriously though, well done!! =)

Anonymous said...

what did it sound like edited! Bet you made it tight.;0

Anonymous said...

I'm no English prof, but (especially in comparison to some of your other work - lol!) it hardly needed editing at all! One tiny thing that stood out was how you have mixed up "cloths" and "clothes" (the sencond one being what you wear, the first being what they are made of. just think of it as you need the extra 'e' before you can put it on your back), but no big deal! (knowing you, now that I've said that, you will focus on the negative, but you really shouldn't, it was truly well done and a big hit. Honestly.)

Anonymous said...

Do you enjoy causeing pain???

Anonymous said...

B negative...not bad since he had to stop grading it for mistakes, it had some negative male shit and I'm sure what was doing on with....well there was lots of unintentional stuff, that might have been subliminal, been analyzing other stuff...

Anonymous said...

Yes that person must