Friday, February 8, 2008

The Oyster Bandit is on the loose

The Oyster bandit was in my car tonight, tonight being Thursday. This was an ordinary man that was in the company of others who had money but the bandit wasn't paying for his oysters. He gave me a can, and someone (Cam) decided to take them. I hope all goes well with the oysters boys. What do I really want to inform all you people about? oh yes I got it, The Stink. What is the stink ? Well kids thats an important question , especially when it comes to the stink. The Stink is the smell of a prostitute I think. Whenever I drive a gentleman that has recently used a prostitute, he has a distinctive odor. The bastards smell like he just fucked a street walker. The girls themselves smell too, but the guys seem to spread it all over themselves without even realizing it. If a man enters into my car and thinks I don't know he was just with a hooker, he's wrong. I always know. So tonight consisted of many hookers and Johns, they all stunk like that horrible stink. I had couple of native dudes get in at 3:30 am, I picked them up just North of Stony, the first guy got in and I asked him "whats up, where we going" like I always do. He tells me " Oh we just stayed up late watching a movie at a girlfriends house." I figured he was smoking crack. We had to wait for his friend, the friend showed up, but man he smelled like hooker. The fuckers were scary, their faces were all blemished from the crack life and probably AIDS or HIV. I got them home and they stiffed me a buck, fuckers. There was another working women that I drove, I picked her up at the Husky gas station on 107 ave 107 st. I was paying the attendant the fifty bucks I owed him when she came flying inside the store asking " are you for hire?" I said "yes" she was like "hurry it's important" she kept rushing me. The clerk looked bothered, he knows about the riff raft he works on on 107ave it's a tough area. The clerk even told me "take the cash up front", I listened to him. When I had the money we started to drive, she told me to circle the block a couple of times, she was either looking for the John she ripped off or the dealer she owes, but man the bitch was paranoid. The street walkers in the most part are broken people. They can't hold down a normal conversation and it's not because they are too messed up it's cause they don't know anything but a dick down the throat. Rough, I know. It's just that I try to speak to them like I do any other fare, any normal person but the hookers don't know how to react. Their conditioned to suck dick. The awful thing about that is that there is someone out there that was able to create that behavior, that persons name is pimp, and for all I know that's her dad. Rough, I know. So the next time you think you're pimpin smell the air around you, does it stink like fifty dudes blowing their load in one unwashed women, no then you're no pimp. Fuck who wants an oyster?

3 comments:

bRaT said...

I most certainly will remember your advice... I wonder how anyone stands the smell when they're.. you know... anyway...

Paradise Driver said...

Hey, welcome to cab-blogging!

I've added you to my blog-roll.



I agree about the smell.

Shemley said...

Deep but true, can't say I know nor want to know what that smells like...