Sunday, December 23, 2007

French Fuck

Where to start, o yeah the asshole. Hahahahahah, no I'm sorry that came out wrong the piece of shit. So I was doing my usual loop around Jasper ave when I got a flag. It was an old man standing by the side of the street. I pulled over. The guy was at least fifty, I though, great this is gonna be a piece of cake. Then the guy opens the back door but he doesn't get in, he just stands there with the door open staring at a guy pucking or coughing up a lung behind some cars. I understood right away "close the door I'm not taking him" I said with some authority, but this old coot said "he's fine, he's fine" in a French accent. I was like "no he isn't close the fucking door before he gets in." The old fuck then pushed the drunkard in the front seat. Fuck was the only thing I could think, I kept it to myself. This guy was in the car. When someone gets in your taxi that you don't want there is three ways you can get him out. The first drive them to their destination, it's also the easiest. Two, you can try to use physical force, this is not so easy and it dangerous. Three, you can call for back up, something I've never done, cause I'm young and dumb. I think I'm invincible, but I know I'm not.
The dude in my car is done, he is so drunk he doesn't know up from down, he can't even pronounce the name of his hotel. Good thing the old fuck who let him in the car mumbled something about 69th street and 118ave. The Inglewood inn, dirt. So I'm making my way there with this low life son of a cunt when he starts demanding me to hook him up with a hit of crack. I have to explain in French that I am his taxi driver and I am not the guy that offers hits of crack. I say "relax man calm down, were almost there." The cock sucker starts to flip out waving his fists at me, I moved out of the way and told the mother fucker to just relax, someone in his grimy hotel will hook him up with drugs, I am just a taxi driver. The fuck face did not understand me, so I told the guy the same thing in French. He relaxes. Then a minute later he's on me again about me giving him a hit of crack. This dude is violent, it's not easy to deal with a psychotic drunk Quebecois that does not understand anything, you can't just kick him out because someone like that well try to hurt you as soon as you tell him to get out. This type of person is usually under the influence of drugs and or alcohol. I just kept driving him even though he was making me fell nervous. I informed dispatch that I had a suspicious mother fucker in my car, I asked them to keep an eye on me. That made me feel safer, but not much, things could go wrong in a couple of seconds, this guy might have a knife. I got him to the Inglewood inn he paid me and then just sat there with this threatening look on his ugly mug, and two clenched fists, waiting to hurt me for no fucking reason other then he's a crazy douche. He eventually got the fuck out, thank God, no violence. I radioed dispatch and told them the story. After that I returned to the club where the old man flagged me down. I waited there knowing the old shit eater would be smoking, he came out. I confronted him, I said " That mother fucker is lucky he is not in jail, next time your crack head friend needs a cab tell him to sober up, don't you dare do what you did to me." Then I returned to my car where there was a couple of good people waiting for me. The old guy ran up to my window to try to talk to me, I told him "fuck off ." He said "my friend is not a crack head." I told him he doesn't know his friend then and drove off with the couple. I felt good about telling that old blow job of a man how I felt.
The whole night was filled with those types of misfortunes it seemed. I was wondering why. When at the end of the night I got a call to a gas station, I was gonna ditch it thinking it was bunk. I went and checked. There was these two Innocent girls there and a guy. As fate would have it I had driven these two girls last week. They were nice and I liked them so things began to look up. The boy was waiting for another taxi even though he knew the two girls. I told all three to jump in. On the way there the two sitting in the back seat got their freak on, innocently, you know like young teenage love type stuff, no fucking no blow jobs just kissing. It was fun because they were people I knew. They were people that appreciated a good taxi driver, they ended my night in a good way. God bless them and all the other good people I hauled around tonight.
Fuck the shit that comes out of Edmonton's asshole. This job is gonna kill me, but I fucking love it.

2 comments:

bRaT said...

you make me wanna become a taxi driver for the sake of it...

i like the words you use... "old blow job of a man"...

taxitalk said...

this is a scary job but it's good if you like your soul to be overexposed to the under belly of life, it makes you stronger or it makes you wanna blow your head off, its manic depressive, sometimes you can make 600 bucks in one night, but sometimes you can get jack shit (200$) but either way it pays good at least at night, and at least in a booming shit hole of a city like Edmonton,