Sunday, November 11, 2007

money don't talk,

Yawn, is the word that best describes my Saturday night. O and five hundred bucks, yes. It was a lucrative night but boring again. There were plenty of drunken boogers, but not one was interesting. Except the mooners. The two gorgeous mooners. So I was on the west end of the city when the computer rang me up at trip to the strip bar. The name was Vinnie, I was totally expecting a man, but when two good looking women came out I was pleasantly surprised . The two did not look familiar at all. I asked for the address, it wasn't far a block or two off of Stony Plain road. No problem, it never is. When a fare enters my taxi I write down the destination in my log book. This can take up to thirty seconds or so. While I'm writing, the car behind me started honking and reving it's engine. I don't care, my hazards are on, and the fucking honker can go around or wait. He waited, impatiently, honking and reving. The two girls in the back were crazy though, they stood up in the back seat and mooned the men in the car behind up us. Now if your a guy and two good looking girls show you their rears what do you do. They screamed and holard with glee. Thank God that's how you stop dudes from honking and reving their engines behind you.
I started driving, then remembered that the girls have used my car to moon others before. I did not recognize them because the last time I saw their asses was Halloween. I had pulled over for a couple in costumes, a cop and a Indian. It was after a concert at the Shaw Conference Center, hundreds of people were looking for a ride home. I picked the young attractive safe looking ladies out of the crowd of frantic flagers. As soon as they got in they loved me, because I chose them. I like gratitude, so told them that I was happy to pick them up. We drove toward their house up Jasper ave, the girl dressed as an Native Canadian asked me if I would let her smoke a joint in the car I said no, she was cool with that. I looked in the rear view mirror next, the girl dressed as a cop was in the back seat, except she was sticking her ass out the window, she was showing it off to a Superman in the car next to us. Lets just say super man was pretty excited. The Native Canadian cheered on her friend in the back seat, then she stuck her ass out the front passenger window. The man next to us did not even realize it and drove off , but the girl did not even care she mooned every car up Jasper ave. It was strange but what do you do. I gave them my number and told them to call if they ever need a taxi ride. Fucking mooners are awesome.
Another weird thing happened tonight, There is some filthy bars on Stony Plain road, and calls from most them are drunken whores and dirty dudes who live close by but are to drunk to walk. I got a call to one of these bars, when I pulled up, I could see there was a buffet set up, that was different. When the women I was sent for came into my car they were vicious, and mean, telling me that I should already know where the fuck they were going. One was worse then the others, she was sad and angry. The scuzzy bar I picked them up at was the place that their friend was having his wake. They were sad because the did not think he should have died. I sympathized, and told the three crying women they could smoke cigarettes in the car, well you wouldn't believe it but all three cheered the fuck up, they even laughed some of the way. And that was it. other then the stinky lady from fort mac the night made me money but wrote me a shitty blog.


againstthegrain said...

Life of a cab driver- insanely interesting.

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