Friday, November 9, 2007

Where do bad folks go when they die?

Tonight was unreal. This is my first official blog about a night in my cab. Some of this stuff could be incriminating for those involved, so just to let you (my readers) know that all the names are always changed and the addresses are never real. O.k tonight was an amazing night. No I did not make very much money, but I worked hard (Trust me)to have something good for you guys and girls to read about.
Thursday night in Edmonton is usually a basic night. There is never very much money to be made so I make do with what comes my way. First I drove a gentleman who blogs, he was a good person who paid me twenty nine dollars to get to where he wanted to, twenty nine bucks is a decent fare, and I promised him a shout out. So shout out to mm mm Grant . Russ Grant. whatever. Anyway after he got to his destination things slowed down. When things slow down, I get bored and I don't make much money. Since it's Thursday night I expected it. I drove some new nation people to west ed mall. Then a scientist to his hotel. He was visiting from Europe, to attend a Geo conference. He sounded very intelligent and he reassured me that global warming is real. I believe him. After that the night really quieted down, until off course around midnight, I picked up a couple downtown. A white guy and a native chic . They were on there way to Karaoke. The only thing strange about it was the bar was a real shit whole. The two looked a little higher class. On the way to the bar I mentioned how I like driving a Taxi because its super entertaining. Just then the man started to sing. "life for me is a Riverboat fantasy etc" His David Wilcox was amazing. He sang the whole song. We were still about half way there when he finished. The lady and I both applauded, I tried to compliment him but before I could even speak he busted out into a Wane Newton song, witch one, I have no Idea, but he sounded incredible, especially inside my taxi. When they got to there destination he paid me the ten dollars and tipped me two more.
The night was real slow after that a few more boring fares. Until I saw a car accident, it was a bad one the car was completely flipped over onto it's roof. Scary. So I parked the cab and took some pictures. The accident was on Gateway and eighty second ave. The ambulance took two girls to the hospital. The weird thing about the whole scene, was that as a approached the mangled car I could still hear the gangster rap coming from inside the car. A lot of people were crowding the wreckage and ruining my photo op, so I jumped back in my ride and headed for down town.
It was last call, which is 2 am in Edmonton, and the only bar with anybody in it was the Oil city road house. As soon as I pulled up I realized that the thirteen other cabs in front of me are going to get whats left of the drunks inside so I pulled out and kept moving west on Jasper ave. Then out of nowhere a Bum jumped out behind me, I missed him but I kept an eye out on him in my rear view mirror. The Bum was running from a guy, I then watched as the young man started to beat the shit out of this bum in the middle of the road. The last thing I saw before I lost sight of the two was the bum getting a swift kick in the face. ouch.
After that I was sent to a few addresses none of which had any clients waiting for a ride. That sucks, but people call cabs for no reason sometime, or they ditch and find another way to get where they are going. I just kept moving toward the west end. I was pissed off that the night was not going to be very lucrative, when I got the call, an address off of Stony plain road. A bad neighborhood to say the least, but I have a Kid to feed so I accepted it. Carlos was his name, he needed to cash his check at the twenty four hour Money mark. No problem, this was an easy trip there and back would make me fifteen bucks, better then nothing. On the way to the Money mart we saw a hooker on stony plain road, Carlos noticed her, then asked if I would stop and pick her up. I said no, I told him if he wanted her I would stop on the way back to his place and he could get out and get her himself. You see I don't care if the guy wants a hooker. I just won't pick her up. It's the "John" trying to solicit sex not me. So if a client asks for something like that I let him out of the car, he walks to the corner where the lady works, he solicits her there and then he can bring her back inside the vehicle, at that point my hands are clean. So on the way back to his house , after he cashed his check, Carlos wants to stop at a 711 for a pack of smokes. I stop, and guess who else happens to be there, the whore. I'm parked in the 711 parking lot, Carlos runs across the store front and gets the hooker to sit in the cab while he goes and buys a pack of smokes.
I tell the women, who is sitting in the back seat that I've seen her before, she dose not give a shit. You can tell the only thing she wants is another crack hit. Then Carlos comes stabling out of the 711 with another guy. A dirty looking fucker. The two talk outside of the car. The dirty fucker keeps pointing inside my car, the prostitute asks me who he's talking too. Like hell if I know, but I answer "his friend". Then Carlos come back in the car, without his dirty buddy. He asks the hooker if she could score his friend some shit (drugs), she tells him she does not do that. As I start pulling away Carlos tells the hooker that she has to get out, she did not even ask why she just shot out, like it was in her nature. I knew why he told her to leave, but I asked just to make sure. "Did you ask her to leave because your drug buddy there made fun of you". At first Carlos denied it, but after I laughed at him he told me I was right (I'm always right). We were almost at his house when he asked me to pull into a little strip mall, I did, not Knowing exactly why. The sign on the wall said something about massage, Then I clued in. This guy wanted to get his dick sucked bad, but not bad enough to let his friends know. Unfortunately for him the rub and tug was closed. He directed me to two others, both closed. He was upset, "take me to another 711" he said, I asked him why, he told me that the cashier asked him for ID or proof that he was eighteen and he had non, but the guy was clearly older, but still she didn't sell him any smokes, so he wanted to see if this other 711 would. Guess what? It did. As he was coming back to the car he spotted another hooker. This one was fat, but we all know beggars can't be choosers. He solicited her outside the car, then the two got in. "Back home?" I asked, he said "no", take me to the park across the street. Then the hooker started sapazing saying that she won't go out that far from where she likes to work. So Paule asked me if they could do something in the car. I told him "No", and kept driving towards the park. I hadn't made very much money on this fine evening though. So when he dropped a significant amount of money on the front seat I just kept my eyes on the road and turned the radio loud. That was the first time I turned a blind eye to my fare. What happened in the back seat got swallowed, I made sure of that, I also got paid more then the women working on the back seat. That's sad and ironic don't you think.
I dropped Carlos off next to his house and I told the hooker I would give her a ride back to the 711, Carlos paid handsomely to drive to the Money mark and back so why not. On the way back I asked the prostitute her name, she said it was Sasha, I asked her if she ever got scared she said sometimes. She was old and ugly but she was still my passenger so I was polite. I asked her if she has any children, she said yes. a 19,17, and15 year old. That made me sad. Imagine if that was your mom. I also asked her why she did not use protection, she told me it was a slow night and she needed to do what she needed to do for her next hit. O by the way most street walkers are crack heads. When I mentioned to her that Carlos was possibly HIV positive for all she knew, she told me not to talk about that On the way to 711, she realized she could score another hit so she asked me to drive her to her dealers house, it wasn't far so I said no problem, except on the way there we stopped at a red light."lake of fire" by Nirvana was on the radio, I started singing the chorus out loud, something I never do. It was a long red traffic light. A long enough light for her to get solicited by the car stopped next to me. Somehow this whore was able to jump from my taxi into a blue Cavalier within the red light time frame. How she knew the men in the car next to me needed a hooker baffled me, but by the end of that red light she was in another car going a different direction.
I thought to myself "I'm going home" I turned toward a gas station, still having a few minutes before I got there I turned up the Radio, One of my favorite songs was playing , the whole way home I wondered where do bad folks go when they die?


Amber L. said...

Dude! I love it!! i'll keep reading! SO FUNNY

Sigourney said...

so funny?

It's so sad... can't even imagine having a parent like that. I feel deadly sorry for those three teenagers.

againstthegrain said...

thats intense. I can't a) imagine doing that for a living, its sad in many ways and b) can't imagine being you, the taxi driver, encountering all this crazy shit. Intense.