Monday, November 12, 2012

Blow my head off.

They get more intimate with each other by the end of the night. It's an obeservation I've made over the years. Watching people. I'm never going to be one of them, not sure if I've come to terms with that but it's a fact. I'm nothing like the people around me. I'm somewhere most of them will never reach. I realized they are more willing to accept what I'm throwing their way if they're not expecting it. They don't expect anything flying at them at the end of a night of drinking, twenty minutes before last call, and an hour and a half before she becomes just another one night stand. I'm always jealous seeing the girls night out crowd. They're the loneliest set of women. Women who go out in groups to be oogled are whorish. They want to get eye fucked and gawked at by random men, then go home to men that don't offer them anything but a dick in the ass and a truck to dive their four little demons into pool of institutionalized crap.
Alberta is going to be my home for some time and I'm going to have to deal with the fact that I'm going to be raising a small person into an adult alone. And in the wild west. There won't be anyone around me that'll be any good to have latched on full time. Least not yet. Hopefully if there ever is, it'll be someone I can have some more kids with. They'll love the little guy I already made with someone else too. 
It's getting latter in my life. I don't feel like it though, but I look older. It sucks cause I'm short, so I can pass for a young adult in lots of situations too, especially when I'm on my skateboard. But that's what's keeping me from getting to the latter part of my evening. The latter part of my life.
I sat an watched a group of these women who go out in groups. They were nurses, I could tell because of the way they talked about their job. They were all so confident, one of them was like "Jonny is such a good guy! Now that I'm twenty nine he's ready to ......

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