I was sitting there reading, ignoring, alienating everyone. I'm beyond them and they mean nothing to me, I've been alone for so long now. When I look back I try to remember my family, my friends. I remember them pushing me into the institute. The thought repelled me but for them I pursued. As I recall I was out reaching, but looking back I pushed them back as far as I could. I knew better! The medium is changing and there is nowhere to reflect. No one to blog with even. The professors agreed "it's a new medium sure." Newness! New Nesssssssss! I miss myself, not really. I didn't need to vocalize that, well I do but not in public.
He's always such a new sense in the room, exotic, I like em. He knows it. I yelled at him today, they were all being loud. It wasn't a joke he was teasing. Voicing his conceptions, the conclusions, psychotic rants, sex, me. Asshole, fuck, I'd have him. "SHut up!" I shouted at them, I looked at him. He laughed.
We laughed. She was upset. It scared me how much, mmm, no more like how far she was willing to go. I could tell that she liked me. He could see himself being with her too. All that passion, she was a girl "you're vicious" I told her. She knew it. He could see her looking at him, her reflection staring back at him in the mirror. He knows, "I was born to use her."
I love you, baby was all she could think, looking at him, through that reflection, she knew he was watching her too, alienating herself from him was infinitely satisfying a never ending undertaking. But because of him she hated everyone. She was alone.
I ignored them.... fuck they were all assholes. She was such an idiotic bitch, I loved her. She knew it, but she kept letting him get in the way. What a joke..Right? I'd still have her. I think about my family. I think about why they sent me here. Why? She was so perfect, angry, but at him not me. Whatever, I've been sitting here watching them. I can ignore them.