Sunday, April 19, 2009

Crash your car then fuck, Kronenberg style

So I got pulled over on my way home from work. My registration had expired last month. I got a 230 dollar ticket. I'm happy to see the cops are doing something. I wish I could have had an allergic reaction to PIG. I'm sad to say that's it's not pulling over crack dealers. Last night I drove a social worker, can you imagine having to try to re integrate a 13 year old gang member that already killed someone. They do that kind of stuff and sometimes succeed. Last night I kept getting kinky text messages from someone. I called them up and it was a guy. I told him that I'm a cabby and the girl that gave him my number was playing him. He kept sending messages. Dirty ones.I had a good night last night. There was one time that I got kind of frightened. I was sent to a north side address and five huge rig pigs came running out. I told them I can't take 5. They all got in. Rig Pigs are big and they are bullies. On the way to their hotel they wanted to listen to the bounce and they would not take no for an answer. They asked me how much a whore goes for in Edmonton, I said "25$" and that's a good one. They said since the economy changed Fort Mac Murry girls have lowered the price to 125$ a fuck. Rig Pigs have sex with prostitutes. If you have a husband up there. Suck him off good or he'll bring home Gonorrhea. I'm happy I still have no respect for the law enforcement in this city, stay safe and have fun. Oh I have a funny one. This guy gets in and gives me his address, I write it in my taxi log. The guy watches me write it then looks at me ans says "Ukrainian GPS" I fucking busted a gut laughing. OH oh there was also a guy who sky dives he was tripping on some shrooms he told me he was going to jump out of a plane in 7 hours. Tubular.


Bartosz said...

you had better start keeping all your ducks in a row. What with all the vengeful cops reading the blog, they might be out to fine you into submission.... don't give them a reason

Victoria Von Swarovski said...

Siggghhhh heavy labour workers impress no one.
I worry about you, picking up wackos all the time.
Lately all I get are creepy cab drivers, and I hope someone stabs them. Would you believe you're more likely to be sexually assaulted by a person who drives for a living, than just getting in some random strangers white van. I'm pretty sure of it.
Miss you. Must call you for a ride to the bar some time. Stay safe.

Anonymous said...

Rig pigs that listen to the Bounce. wtf??

Hit 40 said...

Sorry about the ticket :-( Never fun.

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