Tuesday, January 7, 2014

To stutter ... shutter.

I don't want to let her down... She's so important to me. I haven't felt this way for so long. I can't let this go. I've been waiting for her since I was a little boy.

"she loves me" is all I can say. She makes me sick though and hungry. She makes me suffer. I can't let her go.

These are the words of a weak individual who is going to grind his way into the pavement.

"You have to let her go, or you'll end up alone. You'll end up dreaming of her and she'll already have done this to dozens." His voice is inside my head. I'm just a little boy listening to what is on the inside. It's my father, it's my family. We had one and I believed in it. Why? Because I am weak and I need their support. I never knew they were what was going to tear me apart.

Blog more they say.. What the fuck am i gonna blog about. Making something out of nothing. Turning a leader into a God. Now that's for Nazis. I'm not into that shit, but I got to eat.

You have to let her go... "I don't want to!" Why? What's the point of letting go of one of the only thing that makes this place a Kingdom for you. I'm a fucking lunatic. And this reality is for me to control. I get what I want because that's what I've given myself to have.

Lovers are a dime a dozen... sex and that shit is easy. But love is a pricy experience. It eats at our soul and makes us vulnerable.

so be religious and eat shit.

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