Okocim

It was late, the night was ending in the bar and Jimmy sat alone on the stool next to Courtney as usual. She was waiting for him to finish his drinks so she could walk him out and lock up behind them. "I just don't know how you do it"  he moaned, sulking. "Every night you wait for me to finish up my drinks and you listen to my incessant racket." He was right, she had been serving him for over fourteen years.
They had seen each others children grow up over the years through school photographs, hockey pictures and most recently cell phones. "Now, now there Jimmy you know that I'd do it for a hundred years if I had to."  Courtney said with a whopping smile on her face. Jimmy looked at her drunkenly. She looked back at him. Then he looked back at his beer and took a drink. "You know Courtney, you should meet my wife and kids." he said drunkenly. She'd never heard him say that. "Why d'you say that?" she asked leaning her head back a bit. "You know me better then they do. You know the real me." he confessed. She leaned in closer to his face, he could smell her breath. She was beautiful, she looked twenty one years old again, smiling and in love.

"Really? You really think I should meet your family, well where do you live?" she asked bringing her hand in and leaning on his stool, her hand just between his thighs. He looked down, then back up at the beer bottles. She closed her eyes, and sat back on the stool, watching him. He took another drink. "This is the the way it's gonna be then?" she asked. He looked over at her, red face and drunk. "Yeah...So?" He said. He pissed her off, she poured herself a glass of his beer.

trap, it's always under the snow, just slow down

As he pulls into the parking lot of the old high school arena his car bottoms out over a speed bump hidden in the snow. "Fuck" he yells annoyed because he hit the same damn speed bump not two days ago. He parked next to her car. He was excited to see him, the little guy, their son. His heart jumped when he thought of seeing her, she had changed. He had noticed over the past few weeks she was getting fatter. Her boy friend left her for his wife. She had been sleeping with a rich man out on business from California. He was wealthy and they got to play together while he was in town on business, but every few weeks he would go back home to his wife and kids. She tried to avoid falling in love with the notion of him starting a family here with her. She would have her son too of course, he would leave his wife and kids for her.
This was precisely the type of mentality her sons father was afraid of. She was crazy like that. She was the type that would come up with an idea and make it stick, even if it meant she'd have to bend the truth. Lie, cheat and steal. He found it out the hard way. Living along side her through out her pregnancy he felt an affliction, something broken. He knew he could not love her from the start, yet she always did everything to hold on.
He had a few things to offer, a family, access to an open world, when she met him he had potential, and she intended to capture it.

obviously not me

Who knew Satan was a stud?
tall dark and handsome!
but balding with a beard
really a pretty big guy
kinda the type to break hearts
convince bitches to swallow
that kind of thing.

Face soul fucking

He stood there looking at himself in the mirror. He was changing, she was changing him. Ever since they met his life was flipped, turned full 360. "You shouldn't rub their faces in it" he said out loud. Looking directly into his own eyes. "You know that forcing yourself down these narrow paths is only going to lead you further astray." He said to himself. He was feeling humbled by the sorrow felt from forfeiting his bound with her for a night out. He wasn't going to Hell, he wasn't going to tell her about it. Standing there looking in the mirror he whispered "She loves me, she really fucking loves me." Raising his right hand to his face he pulled his left cheek down exposing the white of of his eye nervously. Looking closer. "I can see it!" he reacted, "Fuck." It's a piece of glitter form the girls house, it got stuck in his eye. He woke after the sinful slumber, only to notice a dull throbbing in his eye. "You reap just what you sow!" he said thinking that's what his mother used to tell him. "No, no more, I can't do this, I love her too!" removing his hands from his face he closes his eyes turning from his reflection. The window behind him radiant with the reflections of the light of the rising sun shining through draped itself on his naked back.

"you boys should see what I'd do for a box of peanuts"

"Get it while it's hot!" yelled the fifteen year old popcorn boy form the corner where he stood, not five paces from an elephant that towered over the crowd of thousands. "Get it while the seeds are still about to burst, or lady dragon the man snatcher here will have to take down the entire patch." the boy exclaimed looking toward a group of young adolescents. They stood in a pack of six. All of them pooling their money together, they wanted the box of seeds. "I can take the elephant" the tallest of the boys explained, "I'm the oldest and the strongest, Bruce here is the fastest but I'd give him a ripping good race, so boys let me at Err!" The boys huddled around him, they all looked like they were nodding their heads in agreement. The tallest one of them stood in the center of the circle. Right as they seemed to have all their minds made up they did a big group high five and screamed "WhooPoney!" The sound echoed through the crowd. Another group of drunken bastard was heard mimicking the boys not two thousand people away. The tall boy stood out of the pack. He stood there presented in front of the elephant and bent over.
The man snatcher took hold of the tall mans torso with her trunk and brought him close to her face. He could smell the breath of the beast, in all her enormity she made her captive feel quit at ease. Then without even an inkling of a reason she squeezed, she squeezed so tight the man felt his heart throbbing itself into his skull. Thumb...Thump.........Thump. Everything was starting to slow, his face was turning red, all the boys in the crew looked away, yet still kept the corners of their eye's turned to see if the man they sacrificed for a box of popcorn was about to be split. Then right as his mouth opened to let out his final attempt at relief she let go and he whimpered

Don't burn the things you love.

"What where you saying about daddy long-legs?" she said, with an air of such disgust, her face was green. "No, no not daddy long-legs, dandylion" David said as he walked through the room that was covered in old rugs from the middle east, "I could have been the one that won the contest, with that painting of that flower remember?" he always looked so sad whenever he thought about that painting. I remember the night his work was put on exhibition, at the college gala, he was so honored, he ushered everyone in through the door. The people loved his piece but the weed just couldn't raise peoples attention over the portrait of the archangel Michel holding control over the rain and thunder. That night after the decision to burn all those works that were sacrificed for the good of the contest, David cried. He loved that painting. He sat there watching the oils sizzle and smoke into nonexistence, then yelled "why couldn't you see my truth too?" The people all backed off from around him except for me. That night, he held me, the way I always wanted to be help by him. That night was the night I fell in love with him.

it ain't ever over easy.

"pass the salt?" I asked my sixteen year old sister. She was playing with her new android. "No" she  said, then paused what she was doing and looked up at me, rolled her eye's back, and passed the salt. I took the glass utensil and turned it upside down, watching the waves of salt stream toward my egg. Mom had made it just for me. As I cut my fork into the meat, the yoke started oozing out. "Mom" I yelled at full force. She stopped in the hallway as she was passing and poked her head in through the door. "What's the problem?" she asked in a secure yet old fashion manner. "My egg, you made it gross, the way Justine likes it, not me." I exclaimed with a whimper in my voice and a small pout of my lower lip. Mom looked at me and said " Then give it to your sister." Then she finished putting on her shoes and left.

and sex and maybe sometimes lack of it.

Wondering if just thinking out loud will help relieve the pressures of the everyday. Venting online, is this a new way of dealing with our lives, me with mine? I guess I've been doing it a while. My life has been spinning around which is natural I know, but there is so much more going on around me and I don't seem to understand how I have fallen under Gods good grace.  Not sure of this new pleasure I've found in school. Guess I'm going to have to see my grads after the essays get handed in. the first one is due next week and it's a doozy. It's a couple on the prairies, so fucking Canadian, a kid in my class said "the pipe analogy, is such a reference to the crazy drug culture found in the Canadian 30's." I was astonished, I never thought that, the pipe reference meant anything bout mitchuwakan, I though it was a phallic reference. The preachers wife seemed hot to me though,  a totally obsessed sexy musician prairie preaches wife. She's the narrator, and she's barren. Unbelievable story about the heart of love. ..Pain.


It's always nice to have so much on your plate you find yourself heaving, yet the whole time you bow your head to the grace that is bestowed on you, my happiness is shared. Thank you

and hey who's........

SeeEmmaXing ...becoming a .............................

For once I ask to embrace a memory
her past is shaken and mine broken
whistling
the sex is relentless, always reminded of
the limitlessness spring, and the smash
my eyes are open in my memory of them
my lovers her friend
sinning
my sex is suspended, no potential
scared of the sacrifice, the sacred heart
my thought is open to the reflection of time
my lies her cries
loving
sex is so shining, no diffusing it down
the pain of it unreal, makes us zest
I no longer hold her, just consume her devotion
no lover no friends
brooding

to unfold, it gives me

The story to be told about me
the stories everyone hears are bear
wild
I am sufficiently entertained with this existence
when I compare myself to the rest of the feeling-less
fragile
I find myself blessed looking at the sorrow
that they brought upon us
with the fragility of their own awareness
I have one on you
a story of your lonely
existence
I am too
it appeases me to know that many who live in this
individuality are remarkably inept at realizing the purpose of it
happens to them
the story says
everyone will die
they will except the few that live longer then the rest
with their hearts out and selves torn the bodies will
 proceed peering into the darkness unaware of
of the story that is unfolding
its glories and horrors
I live in the splendid realization of my source
which comes and goes as it pleases
just like yours
except I have a story