Turning the pain to gold is key.. Where is the pain coming from. Been depressed for like a year I guess... maybe more. I didn't realize it till lots of the symptoms made themselves presentable. I was reacting to most of the problems inappropriately. It's cause I haven't understood the root of the problem.
I think it's women,... maybe just one woman. I dunno. I'm alone though and it's not that I'm sick of it, but it's something I'm going to learn to accept. Being alone. Reading myself is important. I read myself through the reactions of others and I'm good at that. Least I though I was.
What I'm good at is reading weakness. Not physical or psychological, but I'm good at seeing where others look to find their ques on how to behave.
It's funny because people want different thing through their lives, but they all seem to want similar things to their peers... Peers are where we find our ques. Leaders are just people who require less reinforcement. They don't need people showing them how to get what they want they just take.
Doing that creates a dilemma..
Most leaders are leading people toward a life of self destruction to please their own agenda and stroke their own egos...
Now I know you're thinking that this is a problem made in this male dominated society... but it's not. I think the true psychopaths are mostly... lonely anxious desperate woman. Not girls. Woman.
A young man that's given an opportunity to develop a relationship with an older woman will find himself having a tremendous amount of sex.
It's not because he wants it. It's because older women demand it. They usually can demand it. I think that woman are the worst Johns on the planet and they corrupt young men. They do it because they think they have a right to have all their desires full filled for bearing the children. For being nurturing... But they corrupt the boys.
Men who have the odacidty to belive that an older woman can care for anything outside her own home are wrong...
All they want is cock. But the cougars eventually get gross...because they're all sluts.