Friday, July 24, 2009

Blow it bitch.


I work in an industry that involves sex. Yes Sex! Last night as I was dutifully making my awful rounds around the dead city of Edmonton I stumbled upon a group of two. They were a couple, the girl was wearing a bra and the guy looked like the average thug rig pig. The girls clothing was provocative but she looked kept. Like she wasn't a street walker. She was actually very attractive. When they got in the car I mentioned how lucky I was to get the half naked woman. The guy wasn't in the mood to chat he said "Sherwood Park, take Baseline!" and then the two started humping. Dry at first but it progressed into intercourse I'm pretty sure. I was trying to keep to myself even though the cab ride was gonna last at least 20minutes. The girl was already half naked when she got in. The two went at it hard, I just kept the music loud. At a certain point (Baseline and 17st) I believe the girl went down on the guy for a good skull fucking. Couldn't see anything because of the shield but I could tell because of the repetitive knocking against the metal wall that stands between me and the fare. When we entered Sherwood Park I asked for a more specific address. I got no answer so I just kept going , until Sherwood Park ran out. Then the guy told me where to go. I asked "did you guys make a mess." The girl said "we didn't even do anything. Got a lighter?" I had matches. They both sat there and smoked. I made 60$ off that ride whatever they did in the back seat was worth it cause 60$ is a very good rate in these times. One of my last fares was this girl, 18. Young and dumb. About half way through the ride she realized I'm a cool guy and she doesn't want to run on me but she has no money. She was going to party with some guys . I said "the guys will give you cash, you're the only girl at the party right?" She said " I am the only girl at the party, do you think they'll give me cash." I said "Yes." I also thought to myself "you're gonna have to suck some cock for it." She was kind of that type of person. The type that ends up on the curb at the end of the night because she sucked the guys off to keep her at the party, not for the cash to go home. Harsh....

8 comments:

NYC taxi photo said...

yeah so harsh, new york don't have people like that, we got all types of other stupid. but trashy hoes don't live here.

Victoria Von Swarovski said...

Aw dang does this mean we can't bang in the back of your taxi anymore? Rats.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading this blog for a while now, and it seems to me like you don't have a lot of respect for women. While I realize it's normal for 99% of cab drivers to oggle their clients through their security screens like pervy creeps - perhaps this is why you don't like them, they obscure your view - however your "insights" and observations rarely include more than what or how little they are wearing, or how much you speculate they are "getting it". Maybe if you were "getting some" of your own you wouldn't feel the need to objectify women so much. I hope I never get into your cab unless I am wearing a burkha.

taxitalk said...

A Safe Ride Through A World Filled With Drunks, Drugs, Sex and Rock and Roll
that's all it is
and the fact is women are looking pretty cheap these days
common be honest with yourself
I bet you look like a ........ when you go out
am I right
oh and if you've been reading for a while you know I don't fuck my fares.
Anyone inside the taxi receives the respect they deserve, I think I know who you are....
and by the way
yesterday I had some kick ass satisfing sex and that girl in the back seat still gave me the impression she was a slut, whore, bimbo cause that's what she was, thats what they both were. If you actually saw them you would agree, but I have a feeling you're one of those "girls" who might keep her eyes closed and her burkh zipped the fuck up way too high
rock on baby

Victoria Von Swarovski said...

It's probably not sold out yet!
Yeah thanks man haha
Oh and don't worry, we all know you're the only cab driver in edmonton who isn't a perv.

Tanya said...

I sometimes think anonymous should be changed to coward because usually that is the pseudonym used to say less than kind things. As a female I love reading your blog and would love to catch your cab because I know you wouldn't screw me over or treat me like crap.

I really am naive I never knew people actually did that in cabs LOL

Bartosz said...

Dear Anon,
While you may have been reading the blog for a while, it's painfully apparent that you have gained no insight into the life of the cabbie. In addition, it's apparent from your comment that you're most likely just a privileged hipster who has taken a few light classes at university, and thinks she knows a thing or two about life and "pervy creeps"

Just because you've read, "The Ethical Slut", doesn't make you one.

You are, however, a Stupid Fucking Bitch.

Anonymous said...

i think anonymous has a point. ive noticed you tend to see women as sluts most of the time, and not as people.