Not Yet

You are not the cure, ther is none

Someone recently told me that if I really like driving a taxi so bad I'm gonna have to ride this bad economy out and wait for the good times to come back. Fuck that. I love driving people around not the taxi. I love being on the road and seeing life first hand. I drove this scientist tonight. She studies the effects viruses have on the brain. HIV imparticular. She told me that people infected with the HIV complain about how their peripherals hurt. That's all the brain sending messages. I think our society has HIV. I think our social immune system is gone. We have no morals anymore. Those that do are always in pain cause no one cares. The cops were a joke today. A real joke. I don't understand what's happening on the streets. It's more then just the economy it's the people. The cells. They are tainted. We are tainted. I can't wait till everything falls apart, maybe then my sun can rebuild this world and have a chance to live in a real human-virus free society. Maybe then. Fuck when is that bastard Jesus coming back to have his revenge. I bet you he'll have red eyes and lasers. Is it cool watching the world die or what?

Imagine his face.......

That wasn't you. Was it? Strange night. It's getting hard to judge if the financial situation is getting any better. Less people out, but there is still enough. Gas is getting more expensive. There's a bastard crunch. I secretly like when gas goes way up. Those big trucks you see, that arrogance disappears. My style of driving stays the same. I have been using between 30 to 50 liters of gasoline a night(sometimes more) for almost four years. I am a consumer and I'm getting older. I fucking love to drive. Taxis are cool, but my taxi guzzles gas and I don't care. Tonight just ended at three am. Nothing. No more fares. So I pulled up to the Y after hours. ugly place. This little chick was standing on the road, I pull up she gets in. Gives me a south side address. On the way there she starts yelling about how no man was going to yell at her. The bouncers said she was fucked up and kicked her to the back of the line. She got hurt and jumped into my cab. Her phone rings "I told you guys I was leaving, no one cared. You want me to come back? NO Man screams at me! You really want me to come back? O.k." I turn the car around and head back. "The Y's dangerous stay safe" I tell her. It was my last ride. When i returned to the Y after hours to drop her off there was a line up of about 20 taxis. WHO fucking lines up? It's what you do when you're desperate. I never line up. I drive further away. Sometimes risks don't pay off. I used to go to Therapy.

Eve forgot the title

Tonight was the shit. I was expecting a world filled with drunk drivers, whores and shitty street corner tambourine shakers. I got to witness the cops actually stopping drunks tonight. I have this suspicious feeling that people in the mainstream media are reading the blog. Since I wrote about the farm house last week dozens of articles have sprung up in the Journal about cops turning a blind eye to crime. Well whatever it was it made a difference tonight. I hope that the traffic police continue to behave the way they did last night. It was a pleasure. Plus with all the intoxicated drivers getting their cars taken away I got to drive home the idiot passengers that were expecting a drunk ride home. The thing about people not expecting to take a cab is that they tend to have no money. Some twit kid, high as a kite on the blow and so loaded that he had spittle all over his designer cloths gave me a Nixon watch for a ten dollar fare. The watch is worth 225$. He had to break into his buddies house because buddy was under arrest for driving impaired. See cops I'll tell the people when you actually do your work. Keep it up you guys might make this a decent city after all. Now you would think a 225$ watch would make my miserable little life good right, well it gets better. Last night I pulled up to the Urban Lounge, I got a flag. It was some long haired dude. He had that sweet sounding Southern accent. Fuck I dig that noise. So I knew he was not from Edmonton. Turns out he was from Mississippi. He was really upset when he got in so I made him laugh. Then I pulled up to his tour bus. the Mother fucker was from Saving Able. I got to get on the tour bus to take some pics to prove to you guys that I met the drummer Blake. What a cool guy. Well the next fare I got was these two sexy soccer players from Lethbridge Alberta. I was so excited to have driven a rock star I told them. One of the girls was not surprised. Do you know what she told me? "I slept with the guitar player." Fuck! I thought I counted but my first fare after meeting the drummer was a chick that got nailed by the guitar player. What are the chances?
I have this personal who reads me. Well while he was in Mexico he met this sexy nurse, she caught him reading my blog and said "I read taxitalk too." He said "I've been in his taxi." She thought that was great. Tonight I drove the two of them. Sexy nurse lady said she was expecting me to be some sort of muscle head but I was just little old me. The posts can get rough in this economy, but trust me there is more sex, drugs and rock and roll to come just keep coming back cause this blog helps me feel like a productive human being. Remember if your life sucks it's your fucking fault. Now listen to this and Keep6.

Death is Here

So I was thinking about exploiting something cause tonight I only had three fares and one of them paid me with his birth certificate. His name was John.

I'm being watched!

Eat Zombies

K.O. We have a crack den, score

Hey, hey, hey. What's up boys and girls? I bet you all of you stayed in last night. Good for you. It was slow. I got a text last night form a fare. She manages a business, well anyway one of the guys that works for her was one of the three gay guys that had oral sex in my back seat. Small world. I'm getting around like a little slut, that's for sure. So tonight I had this women, a native lady tell me she almost killed another girl in the boxing ring. She said it scared her so bad she had to hang up the gloves. I told her she was deadly and she should go back in the ring and kick some serious ass. Oh and I drove this dude, he got in on 124t and 102 ave. He was going to the Jasper place, he had no money. I'm a generous guy on Sunday nights. Well he told me this story. He said "One of my Roommates ripped off this nigger on 107 ave bout two weeks ago. For the crack you know. Well they retaliated, they drove by our house and unloaded 57 bullets into it. I slept through the whole thing." Fuck imagine stealing crack and then having people come to your house and shoot it up.It's been slow so that's it. I'm tiered. If you want me to wake up, rip off some gangster on 107 ave and tell him you live at ...

Just because you love it don't mean you have to like it

Sunday morning is nice. Religious. I had an uneventful evening a grumpy early morning. I saw some guy get beat up. My personal clients ruled. The kids on cough syrup were cool too. I snagged a pic of the dilated pupils. Man don't you wish you were 19? Oh you are. Well then grow up and get a girl pregnant so your life is over. I love the sun. I love snow storms. I took some professional pictures yesterday. When I showed them off in the car I was asked by someone to do some head shots. God thanks for Sunday. Last night my bad behavior was accepted by the public. All I did last night was drive around cursing out the cops, the bars, the radio stations, and the girls. I drove fast last night. This weekend was kind of a topsy tervy one. I did suport a local musician who was selling his record Corvid Loraxcheck it the fuck out. Peace people. Remember you are the cure against bad driving. The Canadian government paid me to tell you that. If you cut me off I'll shoot you asshole.

four legs and a gun good, two legs bad

Constable Napoleon is a worthless mother fucker. Him and Chief Snowball do nothing but jerk each other off. The whole time drunk drivers cruise around the city causing chaos the pigs just sit around and guzzle their mash laced with greed. I was almost killed dozens of times tonight. The first day of spring seems to have given birth to a world filled with drunk drivers and ignorant pigs. The writing on the barn wall is beginning to change and most of the animals have no idea because they put blind faith into the system that's run by swine. Oh and they're sheep. Pigs are brain workers, worthless apple eating pieces of shit that do nothing but sit there and ponder how unimportant their jobs are. The last I checked the law said drinking and driving is illegal, but last night I witnessed so much of the opposite that I think the rules changed. Our city is an awful dirty mess. I know it's hard for the people behind the law to understand but that's because they are ignorant rat bastards. The guys behind it all are the type of animal you just can't educate, they are wild. They are criminal. You are allowed to drink and drive in Edmonton Alberta. The bigger your truck is the faster you are allowed to move. I was thinking about how I can make the pigs understand that the streets are not being maintained. The only way I see it is, if someone gets real drunk gets in his truck and slams head on with a Pig cruiser. Maybe then the animals that watched the guy get in his truck and drive off will realize that it's not the drunks fault it's the systems. For creating a Police force of invalid cops. The only problem with that lesson is that you don't even see pigs on the road. The only thing that drunk asshole is destined to hit will be some poor innocent cabby trying to feed his family. He'll wind up dead, the drunk will survive. The Pig will pull up to the scene with his face covered in Pig Mash (Tim Horton's) and say "what a shame I just saw that drunk driving badly up the road but I was to lazy to give a shit because I fell asleep in the Farm House. Hahaha check stops are out of the question because they are just to much work. We don't prevent crime. Us pigs we salute criminals in the city." They do, that is until somebody runs into their families car, drunk, fuck who cares. We all go to Sugarcandy Mountain when we die.

black forest ham

Tonight, tonight was another Thursday night. Not too eventful. I had this one fare, she gets in and says "South Bend Motel." The Fare looks about 17. Young and strung out. In a deep haze. You could tell. I asked her where she was from. "Grand Prairie. Can I smoke?" I said "Sure". Then I see her in the rear view, crouching down low in the seat. I do the shoulder check and sure enough there she is heating up the crack pipe. I didn't say anything, I just rolled down the window so she could exhale the toxic fumes. Then I said "I thought you meant a cigarette." She just smiled and took another hit. Crack head. She smelled like a young prostitute. I got her out. Room 30 at the South Bend on Calgary trail. As I was pulling away from the grimy motel I noticed another women flagging me down from room 13. I pull up and before i could even say anything a little lady jumps in the cab and say "here is 5 bucks for pulling over, you can go." The lady was tweaking like a son of a bitch. High as a kite. So I'm sitting there and she's telling me to go but she ain't getting out. She was too strung out to realize how she was behaving. She kept asking me "close the window, look the doors." Then she told me "I used to be a prostitute but I don't do that anymore." Then she gave me 15 bucks and told me to get her a pack of smokes. I did. When I came back her and the John were ready for me to take them through the McDonald's drive through for some milk shakes and a coke. I was given a switch blade as collateral. The women insisted on tipping the drive through boys 20 dollars. She asked me what I wanted I said " I already have my hands full with you." She laughed and said "then we're gonna need a condom." That was kinda of scary but I laughed at her. She smelt like a working girl too. I gave her back the knife. After the two of them got out I felt like I was hung over from being exposed to so much crack headedness. Spring is here kids, and with it come horniness. No joke, spring seems to be the time women go crazy for men. I'm guessing it's about being possessed in the sun or something. Life's good kids go get laid use some condoms. Stay safe and avoid the fucking crack, the motels, the whores and the knifes cause there is so much more to this world other then sex and violence. It's just that the sex is so good with the violence right.