I wrote about you so you are the title "Woo"

Fuck me, if you guys don't want to hear about the economy. Edmonton has been hit with some tough mother fucking times. Today I had some great clients. Yeah like 4 people. They were all really nice. One guy insisted I smoke some pot with him in his incredible steam room. He lived in Riverbend. He was also recovering from cancer. Guess what kind? That's right he lost his testicle. Just one but that's enough to ensure that you truly feel a lose. He was a great person though and I hope that cancer never comes back in his life or anybody elses. There was also this guy who was with this girl. He was all over her. She was hot. She worked for him, she was his rep. He was a sales man and she was the body that sold the stuff. Well anyway the two were getting "it" on in the car but when we arrived the woman said "you can't come in." He tried and tried to convince her that the best thing to do was to have sex but she wasn't having it. When he came back into the taxi David Bowies the Man Who Sold the World was playing on the radio. He explained the situation to me. He said "she has a dude that's in Turkey probably having sex with some other chicks. She's here but she won't fuck me cause she actually cares about him." The he said "I have a girlfriend too, I've been with her for eight years." Then I asked "am I taking you there right now? Your girlfriends?" He said "yes." All I could think was how does a guy do that. Screw around behind his womans back then just go home to her. Fuck. Oh you guys I read the speech. Spectacular, that people in the Vehicle for Hire Commissions had to listen. I also had a reporter from VUE magazine cover the story. I'm hoping he saw and heard something that would be worth publishing.

You looked like the asshole from Bush X

The worst part about the recession isn't the cash flow. It's the lack of good stories. Now that no one goes out nothing interesting is happening. At least not on a regular basis. Things are slow as fuck. The one topic that comes up is the new shield. Some people like it. They think I'm safer. I don't feel any safer. My only real danger I think is drunk drivers and the law isn't stopping them. It's cut throat out there. I've been in several fights over placement in a line up at a club. Tonight some fuck said that he was in line waiting to park where I was parked. He pointed to where he was parked and said "What's going on, this is my spot." I looked over to where he was pointing and said ' you were parked in front of another club, that's not the line, I'm sorry buddy but I ain't movin." He drove away angry. Then double parked in front of another taxi. Anger is everywhere. Money seems to be in the hands of the rich. I don't trust money or people with it. I cater to them, but people with lots of money seem crooked . Bad. Sorry bout no post last night, I went to the Rise against concert which was out of this world because I actually really went to see Rancid. Fucking Punks, they should stay in California where it's warm. I'm joking back off.

4:19am. I am so alone

The cage makes me feel more alone. The protection achieved by the plastic shield damages the communication. Really the shield tries to deny "talk". The transaction is forced to focus on Location and cost,"Taxi." I can't hear what's happening back there. People sit in front. I don't mind that. I like it. I always did. Tonight I was waiting for the light on 156st south bound to turn green. I wanted to turn west onto Stony Plain Rd. This thug. Tweaked out. Skin, bones and bling wanted in. I told him I wasn't giving him a ride. It's slow. I realized that I could have thrown him in the back. Sealed him up in that box. No go. There was this guy, I picked em up next to New City. He asked "can you take me to the west end?" "Damn right! Get in" I said while waving him into the front seat. This was a normal dude. We talked about his shitty night. He was sad. His girlfriend ditched him with his cousin. The two took of to whore around for drugs. He was stuck getting home. Half way there he looked up and said "I only got 8$." The fare was running at around 14$ at the time. I laughed and said "don't worry you'll get home." I was happy he told me the truth. I gave him the URL to the blog, The fucking blog. Lots of drunks hitting the streets. Driving, biking, skatin DRUNK. Even though its really cold, good on you people. I drove this woman she just dropped a dude off. She was a designated driver. She was a professional. Wanna Go Home With Us , sounds dirty right?

Is it hamma time already? Get the axe baby

I drove a girl who told me that Alberta is going to loose it's social health care program. She said "It's stupid conservative Alberta." I agreed. She was a communist and she worked for our sellout government. Our Government is a whore. Not much else happened. Relaxed night. No one acted bad behind my bullet proof shield. I did have a call to an address that I ditched once. The guy took to long so I drove off. Well tonight as I drove up to the apartment building I realized that it was the same address. I was hesitant but I called them to say "I'm here, like it or not I'm here." The guy remembered my phone number. He was upset with me but still thought I was one of the best cabbies in the city. I felt bad for ditching him a few weeks ago. He called the company not me so the level of service though unmatched by any other Edmonton cabby was not what he would have had had he phoned me directly. I treat my customers like royalty. Why? because they chose me over the corporate pig. Fuck you people, is there any other job as interesting, exciting and fast as taxi. Yes, the army but not law enforcement that's for dirty rats that allow intoxicated drivers to exist. Imagine being a rookie cop.......I was going to be mean but who the fuck am I to judge. Imagine having a gun to shoot. Peoples wallets are squeezing tighter and tighter.BANG

Pump It up we are going to Mars

Patience? Tonight I was trying to discipline myself. It's slow right so you got to pick your club and sit there. I did I waited. At the Funky Booda. I was the first in line, I just sat there for a long time. Over an hour I think. I've never done that. Sat in front of a club forever. Patience is not really my thing, but I was trying to be diligent. I knew I was going to get a fare. When it finally happened the couple told me that they were just going up the street. I told them how long I was waiting. They both knew they saw me while out on their smoke breaks. They ended up going down town and tipping me ten bucks. The trip was worth it but I was expecting a bigger pay-out out of the trip due to the patience factor. Not a financial pay out an inspirational one. They were a couple in the grips of lust and passion. They were on their way to have sex. Whatever. Right as I was leaving their parking lot I got a call. The first call of the night. 112ave east side of 75st. North side. The woman gets in. Drunk. "Where we going?" I ask. She looks at me and says "the river, by those stairs." Then I asked with a confused look on my face "the river? Downtown? Where?" I could tell by the way she was looking at me this was going to be a strange ride. She was wearing a shirt, you could clearly see through. " Got money?" I asked." "I'll pay you tomorrow" she told me. I asked her where she was going. She said "lets fuck" then she got real close to me with her chest. She tried caressing my chest but got a fist full of the G10. The lady was all over me, I said "I'm not going to be with you." "DO you have a wife?" she asked I said "yes." She said " I won't tell." This was pretty intense. All I could think about was that wait outside the Funky Booda. Patience. This woman was pure evil instinct sex cumming at me like a title wave. Scary what goes through a guys head. She used the dirtiest words she was bad news. I told her "get out, I can't do that." She reluctantly stepped out of the taxi. "Come over when you're ready, I got weed and beer." That woman tried to seduce me. Why? I have no idea. The way she wanted to go to the river. What the fuck did that mean? Patience. Was it worth it? I learned a lesson tonight. Sometimes when you listen to that little voice in the back of your head. The one that says "be patient wait" even though that other voice is screaming " GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." You wait and wait until you get your fare share. If you really listen to that little voice that voice that almost doesn't exist you get more then your fare share. You are given the ability watch that instinct that animal in you and everyone else. It's a lion. If you really are patient enough to listen to that voice then when the demon throws itself at you you know what to do. I felt tested last night. I followed that voice around and it threw me to the wolves. I dealt with it. I passed the test.

POZAR but the Z has a line through it

When the times get tough I kinda panic. There have been times in the last couple months that I've though about escape. A get away from the everyday. The cab is unique but times are tough so the though to move on pops in and out of my head. The military is something I think about joining. It seems like The place to be if you're disillusioned and poor. A paycheck all that stuff. Tonight I drove a couple of soldiers, cool guys. I think they were with a prostitute but nice guys. One of the them, the one in the front seat, me and him got to talking, he told me there is nothing in the world like fighting. I drove a chef last night. His fare fed my family. Thank God for good clients and big fares, everyone I drove was angelic last night. It was a pleasure to drive last night. I went to check out a fire on the south side. It was huge. I was totally wowed by it. I took about a dozen photos. I sat and stared into that fire. The word surreal comes to mind when you happen to stumble upon a horrible moment. You stop to take a picture in this day and age. There were so many people outside of those apartment buildings. I hope everyone is ok. Who cares about stuff, when you got your life. Right? Times aren't that tough. Oh and screw the oil patch and Shell and Esso, assholes

www.plentyoffish.com

Last night was what's now becoming a typical slow night. Everything was slow. I drove a bachelor party of Polacks. You Guys know them Poles. It was actually a pleasure. I ended up on the North side. After dropping them off I got a call to the Evergreen Mobile home estate. Wow. What a maze. Trailer parks are cities, they are massive. So I call up the residence I'm trying to get at. A man answers he says "I'm not from here you're coming to pick me up, please hurry!" then he handed the phone to some woman who sounded three quarters cut and angry. The directions she gave were awful, nothing she said made sense. She yelled at me and called me names. Then another man came on the phone, her father I guess, he tried to explain to me the ins and out of the trailer estate. Still nothing he said made sense. He was surely drinking by the sound of his nasty man voice. Then last but not least the mean woman's mother came on she was drunk and stupid too. Then all of a sudden I saw some guy running at me at a hundred miles an hour. "You Joe?" I asked. The man jumped in the front and screamed "PLEASE get me the fuck out of here." I thanked whoever was on the phone and hung up. The man told me he had met a woman online. He said she asked him to come over to have a BBQ and some beers with her parents. When he showed up with a two four of beer he quickly realized that there wasn't going to be a BBQ but the whole family was going to partake in the drinking of the beer. I asked him "was the women good looking?" He smiled and said "shit yeah!, I wanted her so bad until I realized that after chugging ten beer she became a sour cunt." He took a breath and said "I had to get out of there. I'm never trying to hook up on the Internet." What's funny about that story is I got a phone call from a strange number this morning. When I answered a woman with a mean voice said "You're the cabby from last night?" I was still in my bed in a sleepy daze. I said "Sorry I work the night shift." Then the voice on the other end asked me "got any money?" I hung up. I realized looking back at the number I dialed in that trailer park it was the sour cunt. Things are slow. I pulled up to one of my buddies that drives taxi. Big black dude. He is beyond cool and he always gives me Tim bits of wisdom. He's been driving for almost 20 years. Well as I was pulling up he jumped out of his car and threw a shoe that was on the ground in front of his car across the street. Some weird looking native guy in short shorts ran to go get his shoe. The driver told me that the guy has been bothering him. He said "tonight Ive had nothing but trouble, I drove a guy to that hotel on 215st, he paid me than looked me in the eye and said "Hows life Nigger?" I told him to leave because he already paid me. The guy just sat behind the partition and kept rambling insults at me. So I turned the car off and stepped out." This driver is totally a big black dude. Intimidating. "Well the fare ran away" he said. "Then when I tried to start my car the battery took a shit, I was stuck on 215st and the fucking bastard fare kept running around saying "go away I paid you." Rough night." Then he looked at the native guy getting his shoes and said "Now this." I looked at the concrete and asked "how did he loose his shoes?" The other driver looked at me and said "he was trying to kick the car, I again got out and smacked him upside the head. He ran so fast his shoe fell of." We both had a laugh as we watched the native guy who looked like a male prostitute come back for more. We looked at each other and just drove off simultaneously. No one wants any real trouble other then the Gay native asking for it on Stony Plain Road. I'm sure that guy got hurt by someone last night.

The pills don't mix well with booze

The night started at around 8:00 pm. I checked the oil and did my walk around. The car was fine. I got in and started it. As the engine ran to life I realized my day driver had left the gas tank at a quarter tank. About 20$ worth of gas. "Fuck" I shouted. We've been having a gas war, me and the day driver. I was thinking at this point that I'm gonna leave him an empty tank. Just then as that thought was entering my thick skull my car's owner pulled up. He told me "Don't driver that car it's been in an accident." I looked at him and said "really? I looked. Where?" He pointed to the back bumper. I got out and looked and saw nothing. The car didn't even have a scratch NOTHING. I took a closer look and laughed. My boss told me that he was here watching. Some thugs been smashing car windshields for the last couple months. My boss caught em. Some kids coming from a house up the street. Even had a shoe print for the police. A couple of the thugs were squatting in the abandoned cars too. Tinted windows?? Well my boss was watching over the place waiting in the morning for the police and he walks up 158st and sees 93, my car. The day driver is sitting in the front seat about to make a left but he wasn't moving. My boss says " I guess he was lightly hit, there's no damage but he's claiming an injury." I slapped my head. My day driver is Middle Eastern. Then the owner threw me a set of key's to a new car. As I sat down I felt different. It was a Crown Vic like every other, but she was equipped with a shield. Oh my God! A fucking shield. I felt like I was kicked in my taxi face. A plastic cage with a tiny window. The Vehicle for hire commission has locked me up. Jail. When I try to talk to the people it echoed. Weird. You can't hear people. That's the worst. You can't tell if they're whispering. That's scary. I knew I relied on hearing the bastards in the back seat. The shield makes driving scarier. The people in the back are enticed to go crazy because of it. Well it hasn't caused any problems so far, other then the hearing issue. But the shield is kinda like wearing a condom for me at least. I lost a lot of the sensation of the voyage with the person. The wall between us ensures that there will never be any real connection. Who cares? Anyway I drove Bryan Birtles a local reporter. He encouraged me to write the Vehicle for hire Commission and present them with a speech about my issues. I'm going to do it but I've never written a speech and don't really understand the format. Does anyone out there know? Help me. I fucking need help. There is so many issues. My first fare tonight was a schizophrenic. Off the Meds, heavy duty! The first thing he said to me was "Do you ever feel surreal, like you're in a fantasy?" I asked him "Can you see me? I'm your cabby. I don't feel surreal and man this shit here isn't like I'm in a fantasy." He laughed and we drove to the Liquor store. He was tripping. Manic hard core. Nice guy. Gave me a fat tip. I said "Jerry I don't want your money if your off your meds." He said "take it, it comes out of the walls." Then I said "Jerry before you crack your beers pop one of those pills. I don't want to see you running around naked or something." Then I said "Jerry they'll lock you up, I know." Jerry got out and right as I was about to pull away he leaned into the open window and asked "do you want to come in for a beer." I said "Yes, but I can't." Then I gave Jerry the URL to my blog and my phone number just in case he wanted a ride ever again.

what the fuck on Vemio

what the fuck from taxitruth on Vimeo.

Sasktoon A text to you, u liked shopping too

I remember everything about you. I remember everything Bout everybody
That's my job. Call me anytime I might be working and
thanks. I think I am the best cabby. One of the best on the planet. You guys were my fare that night. Rock on.