this blog needs a face lift

another mans name

I'm up she's sleeping, "the story of my life!" I always wonder how many people are up longing to be with someone anyone when the fact is they're sitting alone next to one another. Looking over at her I know I'm not in love.
"It's your feet" I whisper, "I don't like them!" It s something I never shared with her, "it s cause they re ugly" I say as quietly as possible but with a jeer towards her. I haven't slept in three days.
By six every morning she starts to stir, and it's beautiful. Her legs rub up against one another, they re smooth, she looks so good. But all I can see is her feet. One toe, the big one! is too short. The toe next to it is jetting out past him. "don t compare the two of them!" It s so quiet in the bedroom, the sound of the upstairs bath keep s diffusing my tension, I forget about the fact that we re never going to get along but we re still sleeping together.
Looking over at her I can see a smile! "Perfect" I murmur, it makes me happy to think that she's dreaming about me. Then I relax and forget about her feet, look over at the clock, "it s four in the morning," I start falling, thinking about the two of us, listening to the neighbor run the water. I m frustrated but I can think of the two of us, when I hear her moan

So what we re all getting old!

My movie cause I am what ever I want to be!

I can do whatever I want, because all I wanna do is be a ......?

I d marry her right into the ground. I would Id take her all the way to .. well you know. I want to have a woman that understand me like she does.
"what are you talking about?" I asked myself, I was sitting in front of the TV. "I want to get over this shit and I want to come home to her!" I told myself.
"You should have known better!" I told myself! "You should go to bed"
"I hate growing older, alone!" And I knew I wasn't the only one. But then I laughed, because I wasn't alone. I've shared everything with a certain few.
Then I heard her voice "Well that won't last forever!" and she was right. "But I got nothing to hide from my past, Nothing!"
"So" she d say,
and I d know then and there every time

Ruin herself

Today I woke up feeling so lonely, I was just so alone and angry. "You're always such an asshole in the morning!" when she said that to me it pissed me off.
"fuck off" I yelled, she should have known better. "I fucking hate it when you tell me what you think!"
"why?" she asked, she had this new sense of freedom since she left me. 
"When was the last time you woke up with me!" I yelled asking angry, "and anyway we were only together for like, a few months!"
"You loved me tho!" she said condescending. "And you couldn't keep your shit together!" She was right.
"I loved lots of girls!" I didn't care if she knew now. "I still hear their voices inside my heart!" I said.
"Yeah.... and what are they telling you!" she asked all screechy.
"What are they telling me?" I repeated mockingly. "What are they telling me!" I asked myself out loud. "They're telling me you're a fucking dirty tramp!" and I was right, it was the way I felt at the time, so, I said it. "Dirty Tramp!" I told her. She looked down, sad. I was right and she knew it. "It's cause last night I saw you get in that cab with them!" I saw her I watched her