Sunday, January 6, 2008

Learn CPR trust me you might need it one day

This post is so unreal most people will not believe it that's O.k cause I know that there is not one word of a lie in it. I'm going to start with destiny, last night I saw a group of women walking up Whyte ave, they were not dressed for the minus seven degrees Celsius. You see in Edmonton minus seven means short sleeves for some people, that is until they need a Taxi home and then they're standing by the side of the road freezing. Wishing they had a jacket and they would do anything for a ride. Well I saw this group of girls, looking good but none were wearing a jacket, one stood out and in my mind I thought "what a dumb ass". I called my girlfriend to bitch about how women dress to impress, and how that seems to make them really dumb looking. My level headed lady told me that maybe their jackets were somewhere else and their just to drunk to wear them. I though that was bullshit, the girls just want to look good. Well anyway later in the evening I got a flag, completely random, and as fate would have it it was the one girl I thought should have worn a coat. When she got in she had a jacket, I was wrong. I judged her before I knew the whole truth, I do that sometimes, and destiny threw that in my face I admit it, because the girl also gave me a fifteen dollar tip. I gave her my blog address, Please if you read this don't be angry you rocked.
It was quiet tonight at first. So when I got a flag from the downtown to the north side I was happy . A couple of kids. They sat in the back and made out the whole way. I thought that the guy was in, but when I arrived at the destination she told him to go home. To bad so sad, it happens, means a bigger pay out for me. The guy got in front and told me he lived in Morinville a small town about thirty kilometers outside of Edmonton. Nice a big fare on a slow night I thought. The kid was nineteen and in the army. He was here just to visit his family. A good military man. I liked him. We talked during the twenty five minute ride, but about three quarters of the way to the kids house he started feeling sick. This is normal. I asked if I should pull over he said "no". So I kept talking. He stopped talking back. Weird. I was on a long dark highway about ten minutes to anywhere. The guys head was hagging there like he was unconscious. I know drunks like I know the road this guy passed out funny. Then I heard him spit up a bit, so I said "if you wanted to throw up I would pull over, no problem" no response. I turned on my interior light , the mother fucker was blue. Fucking blue, no fucking joke, panic set in. I was nowhere near anywhere, there was no way to turn around without getting stuck in a ditch and my nineteen year old passenger was unconscious and turning purple. I kept driving, I started yelling "wake the fuck up you mother fucker, please wake the fuck up" nothing, I reached over and tried to find a pulse, nothing. I jerked him, I shook him hard, nothing. FUCK me. The whole time I was thinking that I can't write that someone died in my taxi in my blog, but this guy was fucking dead or dieing. He wasn't breathing, I learned CPR when I was a kid, I thought fuck man I'm going to have to pull over and give this guy mouth to mouth resuscitating. I was in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, scared, with a blue nineteen year old dieing or dead kid next to me. I was still moving, panicking, I was trying to wake the kid up but to no avail. I started beating on his chest about a minute after I turned on the light. I beat his chest like I knew what I was doing and then bang His eyes shot open and he started breathing, barley, his eyes were rolling around in his head. He came back, I just kept yelling at him "talk to me mother fucker, you died or something, did you take any drugs , are you epileptic , what the fuck is wrong with you?" He couldn't really speak at first, but then he came too, he was sweating, I told him he had to go to the hospital. He said "no, look ahead were almost in Morinville" I said "dude you were not breathing, something fucked up happened to you" he did not believe me. He still was all sweaty but he knew what was going on , except he thought he was fine. Fine my ass. I told him to let me speak with his parents when I got him home. Of course the folks were not there. The guy stumbled to his house, sweaty and gross. I swear to God on my life his heart stopped in my Taxi and he did not want my help. Fuck I gave him my number and asked him to call me, or leave a comment on my blog. I hope to hell that kid is o.k. Even though he made it home, there was nothing I could do. I don't know jack shit about Morinville. I drove back to the city worried, I radioed dispatch to tell them what happened. No one cared. Hard Fucking Core, not one word of a lie, I know this might be hard to believe but man it happened.
My last fare was a half German Half Native women, supper hot, super nice. She only wanted to go a few blocks, so I told her my story and drove her home for free, she listened to me. Tonight was unbelievable I know. Fuck, I hope you wake up tomorrow kid.

14 comments:

bRaT said...

whoa... that must have been fucking scary... i believe you.. i don't think anyone could fake a story like that... i hope he's alright too... you've no idea what was wrong with him then?

i know CPR in practice... but i worry about whether i'll do it right when the time comes...

bRaT said...

oh, yeah.... and i don't get the think with women being able to stand cold while dressed in skirts and stuff... scary... i shiver with three layers of clothing..

jsquared said...

cool site, thanks for the comment. i put a link to yours up........

Bartosz said...

keep an eye on the morinville news outlets for the next few days. After that, it's in the military's hands.

Good Job.

taxitalk said...

Thanx you guys

polly june said...

whoa.. you have an intense job. i'm glad you like it & it sounds like yr pretty good at it too! good job with that cpr.. whew...

Amber said...

Great read and kinda scary.

I am going to add your link to my page as I think you will have some interesting stories to read.

Amanda! said...

hey mister! you didnt even write about your sweet but short ride with me this night :( haha just kidding.. clearly you had a more interesting night after you dropped us off.. im glad that kid is okay.. good work my man

Anonymous said...

Just call 911 and ask for an ambulance, kiddo..you dont have to do this alone

Matt said...

well i was looking through my wallet today and i cam across ur card i remember that night lol me and katie in the backseat believe me i thought i was in too man... guess i just wasnt very lucky with the ladies that night man
i just wanted to say im sorry for passing out like that man and i want to say thank u for everything that you did that night i should be home from New brunswick in september i'll keep an eye for your cab

Thanks again man i owe u one

d + r = haye jude fantastico said...

glad to hear you are alive, man, geez.

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