Monday, January 31, 2011

  Si ella lo hubiera visto se habría roto
  Yo reaccioné tan mal
Yo no entendía quién era
que sostenía la puerta para que
que era capaz de una sonrisa para ti
Yo le habría permitido conocerlo
  Yo lo habría hecho por mí
  Si yo era su juego en mí
Me hubiera
estaba con su familia
  Me hubiera
.. para él ...
  cortó la sensación de
  y lo convirtió enojado
  o infeliz
  wow eso es una locura

  Pienso en esa mierda!
  por eso me siento!
  Yo reaccioné mal

Sunday, January 30, 2011

smash, I ask, could hurt though!

new neighbours
could mean a change
somewhere somehow

Break the fucking universe

You Wonder why you're an idiot
the broken heart keeps peaking
the hole
you idiot
break the fucking
break the fucking
break the fucking UNIVERSE
and find your opening
find the truth
space less
relentless and mean
the type of problem that evokes fear
the type of problem that that stimulates
I have a gift and I need a change
to nurture this punishment in space
my type is wondering my sun is
it is what it is!
I am going to be correct about it
but I am not going to be right
the truth is pain
the pain is what tells you
you're on track
break it crack!
shake it!

it's really noon when this happens, your one with the sun

awaiting the arrival  of the new born
the chosen, has received the message
we are officially going to be over our nation
 our ground
will fall beneath us
to such sorrow
our masses
or future
was a hypothesis a thesis
that did not have the coherence
required to actually make it
the new born was here once to tell us it is a race
now he is here to speak and announce
to our race that we have lost
because our hearts burn with the desire
and the acceptance of the knowledge of
who am i!

Saturday, January 29, 2011


I would join the military to shoot
to shut those instances of life
in an object
to create a reflection in the moment of "alive"
the release of the soul and the entrapment of the sorrow of war
I could love to kill it
destroy the precess
'by capturing its essence in a motionless emotion
taken in an instant
the right moment
I would love to go to war
I would die to see
the images that inspired
the reasons the world is the way it was
the way it will always
this planet knows what's coming
it knew since
it got on the machine and twisted the..

Friday, January 28, 2011


Never having had an original though
I decided to not think
and I found something
something so still
not original
Never having had a spun
never having circled
my son
my direction taken
I found that the stillness
has this propensity to keep moving
without me
leaving me breathless catching up
I can't be upset
I never found out
all those things I always knew
my hearts pounding
this is nothing wait till the

military mothers are

Thursday, January 27, 2011

You will have the time

when he is between the two

WHo wants a longer one?

good question eh?

attack dogs, sit and wait at the gates,

Not so stuck in the coulda been in life
as a whole looking through the eyes
of a heart
life is Love
live, right now
evil ah?
years go by
and we spine
to find in the soul purpose
what causes us?
why we begin?
what could have been was
my heart has a line
timeless and empathetic
to women
and love.
my heart has emotions that bring
life in a siege
huge waves of mortal reluctance
that's just her, she did not trust you
she was blind
my minds I
my minds reasoning for Paradise in
GO and win
live life in love

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Now off with his head! I want the jello insides

you know what you did,
it happens
like lightnings seem to take on a life of their own
the instance they snap
the consequences follow
all of us actually know
nothing matters
accidents are influential
life changers
new life beginnings
full of traffic, rough strategic.
the fact is meat heads are in control
of all the ugly women,
you ever heard of the Ushers
that's the picture perfect
situation that best resembles the univers
God Made it toooooo refined!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

To whom it may concern,

as marketing director of the sss I found it necessary to write to you all "the sss is awesome", we have so much potential now with the addition of the s&s website. The alumni association, and the athletics department are looking into association themselves and advertising  with s&s. I am sure they can add content with context.  I have to add that with all my ties to outside faculties I would like to make even more contact with the members of the sss itself. Being able to connect with each other ensures we communicate. Twiter,  or accounts like it, linked to the website are strategic elements in creating a powerful social network. With just a text the whole school can be connected to the happenings of the sss. Transparency and perspective allow more minds to open and look into organizations like the sss, and the s&s.  Openness brings in more people to attend concerts, and retreats marketed by the sss. In turn exposing more to causes like the mission trip, or pubcrawls and formals. I feel that not only does the sss have a tremendous amount of potential to grow as an organization itself but that the sss as an organization can help Concordia the university become a more diverse and appealing place to study and to participate in as a student. The Key is to have an open flow of ideas accessible to everyone. With that said I want to throw in that looking into the wedsite I see that the tremendous power that the council as a whole contains is being utilized by a very small fraction of the participants. With the launch of sonsordia universities  new website maybe we can launch a new campaing designed to shine a light on The organizations as a whole should meet to clarify certain roles so individuals know for certain what to do.


Through the white of my eyes,
I allow the penetration,
in the white of the clouds under the skys
I found a profound canvas of you
throw up the flag
colors of salt
miners of fault
they found me in my youth
in a child's dotted eye's
filling innocents with white lies
we thread the spirit
a bed sheet tainted in spat
patterned in a particular wounder land
noticing the stillness
images of huge excavations
like a whirl pool through the
white of my I
to the pupil in the front of my mind
the canvas
that was born to argue
it is black

fishlike, salmon

feeling dried by hate, scaly! 
there is things that make me feel better!

it's you!

enjoy......... you, life?

So how to be yourself in a world gone mad? I guess the first thing you have to do is ensure that all outside influences that repress your growth are gone. Repressive things include controlling women, family, friends, politics, religion, sex, drugs, you know all that shit. How to be yourself? Don't do it for money. All those kids out there being taught it's about money. Shitty teachers I guess, makes me want to blow my head off. Oppressive.  Spend time on yourself eat shit and die!

Monday, January 24, 2011

I don't trust any of them

Rollin in the deep tonight
rolling around soulless, rolling like a thief.
beat-less, renowned for his bad behavior
imagine being lonely in a room full of him
imagine not being angry
imagine that not being your place
no more fear
it's a concept I can't fathom
I don't trust any of them
yet I adore it
the taste, the smell, me
reflected back
in an eye
closed to that, to the other
they are far  from themselves, and
anger binds itself to passion
one is like the other
one is tasteless
and it stinks
I don't like the way it looks back at me
I despise those eyes
they are bottomless pools
of deep
devouring my mind, in her eyes
the music is over
and standing listening to my heart
trying to forgive me my passions
thinking through the rage
it wants to rip itself away
in fear of my taste
a concept I can't fathom
There are absolutely no problems with my life right now. Programs are in effect. I am loving it.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Women use the back door to lie, I mean lie down on their back right?

All we know is that a backdoor is easy to find, always. Not sure if it makes us better people, but the back door seems to make itself available for a quick run. A jaunt out of this place to the outside and then again to the next. Backdoor travelers are often young, pretty, fast and enormously talented fucks. Ah. The back door is so easy to find because we are such lousy honest creatures. We are sick, imagine how many people marry, realize it sucks , then invite people to sneak in and fuck, then sneak out. That's a backdoor. I know the back door, I know how to use it, I know people who use. I know mothers who run from responsibilities I know dads who are standing at the front waiting for company. While ladies behave badly. The Mother figure is dying, the women is now a nurturer with a dick in her mouth, and it's not the dick she had in it 10 minutes ago. This is going to be a confusing world for the kids growing up in it.

to the wind, against them

The winds I heard this morning reminded me of my night, Tonight I was picked on. Not like any other night, but last night I was glitched, because I encountered another, asshole who works in the same industry. I think I was alarmed because I thought that he was sitting with a whole table of people I knew. He wasn't, yet my over exaggerated ego was ready for....What? I wasn't sure. I guess I would have had to work the room and try to pull off another 30 snaps with the weight of that whole crew on me. Well when I saw the dude, who hardly knows me I turned away, but then I said "fuck it"  turned back and asked his table if they wanted one. I looked at him the whole time, my heart was racing, even though this mother fucker is a punk ass. He said "No" and spoke for the table. It was a trendy place, and I bombarded the fuck out of those establishments. My next few shots within his vicinity were good, busted the ego back in, but my heart was racing from the encounter, the prospect of meeting all of them and me alone. My heart would race, but I'd turn 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

brain function. My Love

I hemmed my pants to high, now I don't trip and stumble, I just look like a pirate. "Argh Matty!" I've been offered positions that I can not declare, yet, I'll take them if I can. I'll throw up my hands and freeze them there, so when the cops come they can shoot me. I've had enough of this possibility, the endless potential, that she has to find someone to use. I have now also become a parasite, a soul sucker. A lot like a predatory jungle cat thinking her happiness is relevant, it's not. That cat is unhappy because its life is over, blown over in a heap of forgotten loves, from dreams to wishful thought surfing over the horizon on a sum beam. I'm in the grand water, pirating, snow rolling over the passionate possibilities I created with my behaviors. My actions are leasing me a hope, for free. But the fact is I sold pieces of my most precious plate, I don't joke, I'm to serious about my lower...

4 both of us im sure

i do see ahead
there is a kid
a rink
and something to learn

they take advantage with a dull jig

After stringing  herself out she spread on the sand to dry
she gathered her motions her moves the dances and sang
her best friends never really were what she said they were to her
she hated them all
they all hatted her
the two were so full of life so splendid
she read to him
he listened to her
they made life together
she was so impure
he fixed that
she stole that
he exercised violently to control that
yet he lost a piece to her
how? to become a thief to find others who
won't know, how to do it. Honestly
 there is noting that will accept this in manhood
but the demons are all just boys
haunted by her
they make more  

Thursday, January 20, 2011

imagine being a Bag you...

and a shitty other.!
then imagine being
her son
someone who can't look ahead
someone who is really alone
imagine trying to carry your soulless body
and just getting dropped like an old bag
on the floor
a lover no more
a user and a liar
why don't you send my poems out
the ones that selfishly fill you with
the desire to lash out
because you realize
the writing holds the truth
to the day
the lies you say
you hold yourself heavy
and you hold nothing else
you claim to be decent
but anyone within reason
will understand you're not
really  within anything....
as dead as that
purse made of Rats ass

Goes bad

Take a bite take a bite
you evil bitch take a bite
imprisoned in context
no content
then take a bite
eat it.
Content is key within my context
so take a bite
eat it the smoke sooths
the singers listen
the rain stops
and the pain is the only thing that's real
take a bite
eat it
 not so alone care ,
eat it
before it really

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Not because I have to

With anticipation I watch your exhilaration
hiding as you do so
we are together now
because a door has opened
summoned with seed
unfortunately we have school
and I do kindergarten
you bleed.
Together we are still in the height
because in the distance
no one sees
except me
little old me
growing cold small me
I'm loving you because I want to

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

In a cheap novel

How much I owe you
depends on my high
my orgasm
How much I owe you
depends on your wife
is she a whore?
How Much I owe you
depends on a cycle
one you can't ignore
How much I owe you
depends on my dreams
to God, who knows what they are
How much I owe you
depends on my soul
a character


My stories are going to start fires,
creating flames form the inside of the gut
can't stomach what I can have to eat
a recurring dream
my soul
through the gaping holes
My stories will tear up
and burn

Monday, January 17, 2011

this is a newvo poem, Canadians living in recession

Finding my way back, after countless times looking back and waiting!
for what!
A new dawn! another day to bath in your shadow
i tiger and prey
I whimper and play
I'm the king of kittens
and I use queens to lay
enjoying the breath away is easy with me
when I let it
You are a breeze these days,
but the map is written
our sidewalks glimmering
we proceed in unison

after countless times
ill find there will be more
way way more!

it's on the shaft now

SHe gets up, smells. Opens her eyes, she's not at home, naked, again. "WHat time is it?" she asks out loud. There is is a man next to her in bed, he's from the bar, last night. She's been going out every chance she gets, she even leaves her Nissan behind, she know she's getting loaded. She knows, she knows that every time her and Monroe get together it's a shit show, a fucking lottery. "What time is it?" she asks out loud again. SHe stumbles out of bed, heavy set, and shaken. Looking over at him she realizes he's a big guy, tough night. "I can't remember a thing!" she exclaims pushing the palm of her hand into her eye, her head hurts. Her legs spread. "Where the fuck is my phone?" she asks herself, "where are my cloths?". SHe remembers something like this happening to her in the past, in Banff. On her birthday, she had thrown up all over herself. She woke up somewhere she didn't know, she thought she had been raped, she didn't know, she took a taxi home to her boyfriend, he willingly held her. "WHat fucking time is it?" No clocks on the walls, it was still dark outside, it was the middle of December this time. She remembered pieces from the night before, he was there. He'll remember her. "Damn!" She thought about their child. SHe thought about the sitter, his grandmother, he was at home. Her little one. She was a taxi ride away, preparing to use her baby to cradle her pain away.

I can eat a bucket of Nutela! A fucking Bucket!

Well I find that hard to believe because my mom keeps telling me it's getting old there T. I'm happy you commented, you gave me someone else to write to. Hey how's life in general, I've been watching your blog, you know I really think your boudoir stuff is sweet. But I'm a sucker for women. That's the reason Taxi talk took such an ugly turn, I found myself writing to an oppressive audience, that I created and empowered. Now I have you, someone to talk myself out to, that's what taxitalk is. It's my psychiatric couch (chais), except I share my problems with the world. Fuck I'm looking for some more outside judgment, just to give me another reason to post. Well anyway, I'm dealing with a wart on my soul. It's actually gone as of a few day's ago,(still medicating just in case) even though my body still has some physical inabilities that are caused by the emotional scares. Hey T, how's the biz. I recently got some massive news, really big opportunities are coming, in terms of making a name for myself in the industry in Alberta, hopefully the nation. I'm trying to win contests too, and making general progress by just getting up in the morning and realizing that if I want it I got to get it myself. I also go to school full time, and I have a tiny little person I take care of, and he has a mother.... FUck what is this world coming to? Who cares?... I can't wait.

Why arent you playing with me!

Go fuck a single mother! its money! you're the only one that ever stays!

It's a punishment, don't ever do it. Find a guy with a baby, single fathers are damaged goods. 100%! If you're a single girl with her whole life ahead of her, stay away from a guy with a kid, he has baggage. Meaning he has some issues that no matter what you try to do to help with, it won't help. Plus you might end up liking the x more then you like the dude, or his spoiled bastard kids. Fuck that, stay away.

Canadians are worthless! and ugly and vein and I hate them.

and the weather, I am going to die!

oh and lets not forget they are fatter then Americans!


I have this incredible indigestion from eating a can of beans last night. I was all curled around a novel written by a Canadian, it was about living on the prairies, I wanted to feel like a cowboy. I ate the entire can a few hours before bed, but still I've been up for several hours rolling around in my massive bed, trying to get lost in my dreams, but without success. I am bloated and have some serious acid in my throat, yum. I should go eat a bucket of yogurt.

Most of us will just hurt, and do it again.

I wake these days in a haze of the same old regular reality. I try to, you know,  give my life a jump start but you know how it is.  One minute you're happy the next you're alone, but you wanted that in the end.You want it all.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

You can't fight


False FUcking Fronts fall, while they scream for their mothers brother

I ain't yelling uncle yet baby. I have so much spirit left. My life tried to ensure the passions was eaten, by that old whore. She did take a great big bite of my existence. I let her, she paid for it dearly, well with money. She had lots of that, money that left me feeling secure in a war zone. It was all such a delusion. I guess finances can do that, people with money think they are worth more, even if they are virtually worthless. Imagine being some run down fat drug dealer, selling crack to kids then buying  a legit company with it and succeeding, does that count....Well it does, except selling drugs is a cop-out. Hurting children lands you in a bad place, not necessarily on this planet...But maybe on the next. I don't need to partner up with money anymore, I learned that(I got what I needed). I'll have to deal with it though. That bullshit safety zone was such a crutch that because of my acceptance of money I can now barely stand. I'm going to get back on my feet. I have the ego to do it, plus there is other forms of inspiration that, being a poor bastard I am aware of. I'm motivated no doubt. I'm not a fat drug dealer living a facade. I'm an asshole who has noting to hide, no second story here baby, I'm happy I can tear down the falsehood, I'm happy I get to watch everyone's everyone else's

Saturday, January 15, 2011

to almost everyone one I know, lets play!

They were all logical in our age. unable to hold on! but still angry

The sound of my telephone is muted by my thoughts. I've gone numb, and there is so many things that I want to feel. I can't and I'm trying. I do, feel that they are being felt, just not by me. She is so young. So naive, well as naive as she can be. She finds that she is giving me pleasure, I find that to be her pleasure. That is who she is, it is how it works. I've been broken in and I know what I want. It's like a food, once you eat, it gets you, it's got you beat. Leaves you restless, unable to focus. If you let it. The novelist let go.

Then ditch them for ten bucks and a bag a blow... Kisses

Do you know how to torture yourself.  Fall for someone! turn around someone, let someone in. Restrain yourself for someone. Kiss someone, hurt yourself for someone, suffer for them. Destroy yourself for them.

Wake up the next day and realize you won the fucking lottery!

Friday, January 14, 2011

I'll throw it away eventually it's beginning to take up space

You can clean all those crazy carpets kiddo, you have all the ammo you'll ever need. Her? don't worry, she's is just the ever living ghost of what once was. Sad thing that happened between you and her, so..... what you gonna do with all her gear? Oh you've been thinking about getting rid of it! GoodWill? Ooo not that type of stuff. Well she might want it back. k. Well....

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I must read!

is not what this blog is about, or God, or babies, Fuck jesus!

The times that seem to be the happiest,  come when there is three of us. 1.2.3. The two of us are always struggling alone. After being dropped without smashing..thank God. It just so sad that we have to go back to being alone together. It's not forever. There will be another one day, and maybe more in the future. Family..

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

you may now kiss the bride

"When I asked you the first time what did you say?"
-"I don't know" he stood there and tapped his fingers on the kitchen counter.
"You told me you loved her"
-"It's over!" He stood up and exclaimed.
"You lied!"
-"I do" he leaned forward all puckered up

I'm showing signs of aging

That wart still hasn't been killed off. My soul is still invaded with this mass. It's dead, mostly. The edges of the infected area still show signs of possible irritation but all in all the center, the core, is blackening and dead. The mass of tissue is still embedded in me though, and my body is desperately trying to reject the growth. It's only now becoming very painful because I think it's actually rotting from the inside out. I continue to pry at it, dull it. It hurts me too, the cutting, applying all the necessary chemicals to ensure that it doesn't decide to resurrect  itself later. It's my soul. My right sole. 

But TIme is not real, so don't follow it!

OK God, designed the universe, and made a deal with the devil. He was kind of exhausted, and sick of the stillness in the center of the mass of the All.  He told the devil that if he tore himself apart into space, by the time the energy of the expanding universe slows to a cold weightless nothing spread to the ends, there will be a life, clinging to the last light glowing, emitting Truth. Cuddling to the energy we'll find the most humble and perfect form of life to God. God likes things that can sit in the dark right...Wrong, that's the devil. There is more to this philosophy In sure. There is contradictions in this existence, and I'm not sure what the devil or God are made of. Who cares right!

I know I'm not alone in here

That's ok.
Ilike that
I'm reading the dubliners
I hate Ireland
but i'll visit
not live there ever
no because I don't like the people
it's because....

dealing drugs 101

Yeah But that income is more important,
-sure it is, but i would rather live happy then with a front
you'll have a front either way
-at least I'll be fronting my own goods and services not things I don't believe in
yeah I know
-you're not gonna change
-the income is more important?

hey, I almost sold my soul this summer
-did it make you feel any better?
I wasn't able to, but man did the devil ever leave me fucked!
-wait till you really fall in love
I'll  be dead.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


You know those people, the flawless mother fuckers. The kids who always did their homework, always had clean rooms, had the mom who always had the perfectly cut up fruit. Those are the people who are going to make it. The kids who never laid their eyes on trouble. I always hated the kids that were given sports cars and stuff. I just did I wasn't destined for that life style. That's not to say that I wouldn't want it, but at what price. Recently I overheard a very great scientist say that our brains are what separate us from our primitive ancestors. That we have a cerebral cortex to allow us to see past, so called realities, and allow us to create our own abstractions. I don't think that humanity is honestly moving toward what that scientist wanted us to move to. The truth is this rock won't hold us forever, and God has some kick ass life all over the universe, life that gets it. Humans are not using their brains to build space ships to allow us to truly conquer the universe. No humans use their precious brains to compile information that makes money.... or bombs, or ways to drink more beer to forget about the fact that we have no real reason to exist. No spaceship is worth it. I think the reason whatever it is sent Jesus down to Earth is to say "You guys are kind of a crappy form of life, you're not going to be back past the next cycle, your time here is limited, so party under my name Jesus Christ, cause when people won't be able to understand my message true freedom will have been eaten up by the empty. The kids with blackberries, and Mustangs, who go to a concert to text their friends that they are board. God gave up on us  2000 years ago. Humans had the potential but not the heart to be a part of it. I'm going to let my Sun shine, somehow. I'm not going to expose him to that.... well. He won't like me though, and his mom won't help, yet I will still fight this shit. I won't let those hideously perfect people lie to him and influence me. I know what they are....

Baby Bolgs are garbage!

People who write about their babies suck dick!

THEY STAY THE SAME...then you fuck their daughter,

You wonder why a girl who's in her early twenties has had dozens of partners. Sexual partners. First, if you're a man you figure she really likes dick. But then you figure that she really likes guys who do this and that. Then you wonder what it is. So you ask. "You've been with so many guys, have you ever had any crazy satisfying, fulfilling  sex?" We all know the answer. They never enjoyed the sex. At least that's what they say. Imagine having countless partners....Imagine not only never achieving satisfaction, imagine not knowing that you are not getting what you're suppose to get out of it. Then imagine why. Why is it that they go so far? They don't know where to look. It happens to lots of girls, you know who's to blame. Yeah you do! He should of been there for you the whole time, from the  start to now(in your head, if he's dead). He should always be there. No he's not Jesus. That fuckers is the guy trying to get you to put your hands down his pants to feels his funny bone. No the true culprit is not God, but it is a man. In most woman's lives,  in most modern woman's lives the true flawed figure is the Mr.Breadwinner, oil rigger, taxi hacker, shit digger... Dad, the Father. Daddy is public enemy number one, he's usually the one who decides to give something up after he accidentally starts a family. To have a family a man needs to change, not many men do.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Selling out.

I burnt my tongue just now. It hurts to say this but " I can't fucking ...." Yeah. Even I can't mutter out those words, they are just wrong. That's ok. I can go on living this way, in this deniel, this fear. I like it, it lets me get away from it all. I have found others, unfortunately they are unaware of the reality of it.  What I'm trying to say is that they understand what it is and why, but they are given something that should not exist. In turn causing emotions to stir and reality to set in irationally. Which is ok since I'm irational too. Not lonely, but alone. I've been feeling fine with my life though. My failiures are going to be my biggest asset in my future I can see that. This world is my oyster. My biggest complaint is that I live in such a rich intelegent nation, full of idiots. Canadians are assholes and should get beat up around every eruopean street courner for being jerk off sons of immigrant bitches.

I've been looking through a bigger set of eyes for the past few hours and I have not had the onset of a headache.
I wish I wish I wish
I had someone to give me more
all I want is more
now I can't handle myself
cause all I want is more
I'll wait to taste it when it 's hot
I'll take it in when it's hot
I'll have it
it's something I sold
yet it's something

You'll never have found me
ever having bought!


Three days before Christmas I fell in love with an interstellar woman. She is super tall and courageous, crazy and talented. I will never really even get to set my eyes on this women, yet none the less I am in love. Two day before Christmas I realized that I did not succeed in one of the pivotal classes of one of my last semesters of school. I rejoiced, I adored the situation I was in and I did my best to keep myself there. I was still in love with a woman that was so amazing, yet I knew our paths would never cross. The day before Christmas eve I was ah... just so fucking hungry... I was mean.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

under all this snow

Stunted myself in all aspect to stay the same while the world churns and turns around.
the stars twinkle and wink at me, the sun shines like fire,
all our heavenly fuel will burn
and ill stay the same
I've changed
for the better
a long time before
the world milked her soul and
open her legs and stuck us with
Justice and peace and Holland
and the rest of the wonders
we could have had it
we could have it all
the world means so little

but the truth is irrelevant


I was on a bus leaving  a small compound, my days were long back then. I got up in the early hours to catch a bus.  My driver was always finishing up his morning prayer, he had a purple beard and I could tell by the way he looked at me that he did not like me. He was also a very shitty driver, I usually just closed my eyes and dreamed of being back in bed. Adolescent rage was so deeply instilled in my 15 year old soul. I was angry. I remember driving by the Saudi Arabian army as they lined up for their morning salute. Most of them were still wearing slippers. That made me laugh.

By the time I reached The King Fahd National Guard hospital the sun was up. I was hungry. Sometimes I would just wait at the bus stop and smoke cigarettes till my bus came. But sometimes when I was really board I would go to the lab and play with the microscopes, I'd count blood cells and I'd spin shit in the centrifuge.  I loved seeing the plasma separate. I was a lonely kid, this usually happened by 6:30 in the morning.  I always had to catch the bus to school.  It was an event that I rarely missed. Ninth grade history with miss BlackMan was deadly, but hey, what' s a little death over time.

Fuck I still had to take another bus. The bus form the hospital would take me to the center of the compound. It was awesome, by then it was 7:30, I would have already smoked like 6-7 smokes, and listened to a few sides of some of my favorite tapes on my trusty Sony Walkman. I was so angry, in that dessert sun, the first kid waiting at the bus stop always. Watching the scorpion ants on the caked clay ground, often forcing them to fight one another. When the younger children would show up with some of the parents and caregivers, I made sure to be hidden form view when I snuck my last smoke before school.

The third trip into the city was with kids. I wasn't alone. There were other youngsters on the bus with me. They grew to be some of my only friends in the country the whole time I was there. The two boys who sat next to me were three or four years younger then me. But they were savvy of the eastern ways that I was being thrown around by. It made them laugh, they lived with their fathers, rich respected businessmen,  I had usually been up for four hours by that time taking a bus with mom to her work. I wanted to nap, and when I was depressed I did. The world was my oyster kinda....Then I got to school.

God Knows he is an asshole, and that Eve eats the apple!

"Go on take it!"

she heard a voice say from around the tree.

"Go on young lady. Help yourself"

Eve wasn't used to talking trees, and all the animals in the kingdom were always so forth coming  with her. This talking tree intrigued her.

"Go on Eve!"

"How do you know my name?"
She screamed!

Startled she watched as the lizard crawled on his belly toward her, over the roots of the tree. The fruit hung over the two of them. The garden was at peace. Adam was out enjoying himself. The reptile was the only animal Eve was aware of.

"Go on Eve! Eat it, trust me you'll have a blast and you know it!'

Eve did know it. She kinda trusted the snake since the day her and Adam drank  that fermented fruit stuff, well Adam passed out and the snake played a vital role in the way she scratched an ungodly itch.

"Go, on Eve, eat one, you'll feel younger for longer. You'll get to live under the same shade as God, Common, I promise, after you swallow your first bite, you'll blow it"

The snake was acting persuasive, he had those dark penetrating eyes. Eve was hypnotized, she couldn't help but think of the juice of the pomegranate all over her body, as the snake lizard, grew into a massive man and licked the spry off her delicate ivory skin.

"Go ON!"

the snake started to announce as the two were confronted with Adam.

 "Hey, you two ...what's going on? What seems to be important enough to be discussing under the super tree of like stuff and like, knowledge. Common Eve! you know what God says about fantasizing about licking the sprays of the  seeds of his immaculate photosynthetic pet, off a creature that dwells in the darkest caverns the universe has ever known"

Adam reaches out to her, naked, Eve seduces him, then the two end up laying together under the tree. God wasn't paying attention, he was out picking cans around the neighborhood. God recently made a bad investment. Leaving his people kinda unsupervised.

Almost satisfied Adam asks

"EVE go, go on and  get me a mouthful of water"

Eve, standing starts to complained

" I want a few more minutes of snuggling since I did everything Adam, you wanted. God made me that way. It makes me feel cheap when, you take off to play tug the tail with the monkeys right after we finished making love. God also tried to stop referring to it as love since you Adam are really the only one that's suppose to inherently understand the meaning of  love like God himself...only I do to.. I think."


There was this fire in the whores eye, in
t(his place that's so a-live)
the suns of suns shine
in a dream
of a man in the instance of a single heart beat
a live

Saturday, January 8, 2011


Dealing with the reading leaves me so disillusioned, life just seems to be continuing on, in this endless recurring cycle of ahhhh. This life is such misery, I feel tempted to give up, but I'd go to hell. Fuck. Well if I'm willing to blow it all to get the fuck off this spinning ball. I might as well find a way to make a deal with the devil. I'll find a way, I'll wait till she jumps in my lap, and as soon as I got her, we'll partner up and cause a mock.  TaxiTalk was the start of that. So I remember waiting for this creature to come into my life. I was looking into the night. I was looking for something, Me..Phisto fucker you know. She came, little creature, I loved her at first sight. Perfect, they always are!  We wrote a bond and met, and for the next several years we frolicked in the depth of this planet. We took advantage of every rule and broke every promise, dealing with devils weaken the knees thought. Me and his Phisto were

Rest of them.

My audience is dwindling, and that's not a bad thing, actually no audience is better then the one I recently had. All in all life is terrifying, but I continue to survive without any serious injury. The skiers man, fuck them. Who else should go fuck themselves... the gay club, in the ass. The Roads are so bad out there make me want to stay home all the time, but I can't, coaching hockey tomorrow. Having some issues with the light lately. Well not the light per se  but the big mother lamp. God what an ungraceful bitch, she made Christmas kinda of a nightmare, but who cares. I got some really cool gifts this year like a 21 year old, yeah! I think I was always told how much I wanted one. God I just want to forget about the past, well the bad and move into the future. I need something to happen, something really cool. I wish I could win a contest or a prize that would send me around the world along with the sun, it's gonna happen, I'm going to make it. I just hope the mother of all manipulators won't hitch herself along for the ride. Not sure how I'm going to ditch her, I wish I could do it the same way she does.. with the a dick in her .....Fuck. I don't wish that on anyone and it's funny every women out there dreams of it, Lonely cunts. FUck the opposite sex just makes me angry. I met an editor today, she wanted to collaborate with me. I came up with a great strategy to invade the school. Fuck what a life. The editor was a 19 year old girl, smart but not yet a women, I totally feel cool being the older guy around, I can feel how vulnerable the younger students are, Such bundles of joy.  Then it makes me think of the juvenile delinquent Miss manipulators is trying to create, what an idiot bitch, well whatever she's just like the ...

except I control my future and I'm taking him with me. Cause he's the reason I was born!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

but trust me that makes me an idiot!

Listening to the deafening cough of fear I size  myself up for what's to come. At least I have a head on my shoulders kinda! To all those who can bear with it, Good for you, for those of you who are holding on great. I have found some success in my life that should grant me some sort of insurance that I will survive, I know I will, but I don't feel as secure about things since my life was tossed down a portapoty...(presumably!) I am totally moving forward but I seem to have hit a speed bump. and it isn't the typical metaphoric bump in the road, this was a disaster that has seriously damaged my inter workings. Mostly because of the way I treated myself. I really have found that I don't give myself the time of day. I hate studying so engineering or medicine have always been out of the question.
I recently was reminded of a series of images I used to dream about when I was a little boy. I lived in this massive house and there was this window I always wanted to smash right above the entrance. Crazy place, weird, the sadness I had as a child.
Give myself the time of day eh? I have never gone after it, I've always just settle for what made it's way into the front seat. I mean, I would never have been stupid, I've never been rejected really, I'm a pansy when it comes to this stuff.
In the long run all I want is some warm skin next to me...

Ok so one .....and the other are heavy with the weight of it all,

The weight is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm more visible now, people can taste me. There is a family of sailors that love me, I bought them a bouquet the other night, they loved it. then we took a walk to the Jail house and watched the warden cut the head off of a whore. Sad, but the politics these days have been crazy with the law being so ... un-real. What an invisible line that road makes, bite that crank and peddle away, watch the skates cut the ice, grow up and invest in a bank account. that's the best way to curl those lips baby. Invested in every one every step of the way and because you came from money you got given money, investments are material.
The fact is you grew up in  a war zone, so sterile that if you germed it up you got stuffed by your daddies dirty ... baby, Overdose

being swallowed by a black hole, falling so fast, light won't work with the weight

Ok so we are all made of this star dust stuff. Ok so we are all scared of the dark, it's because we were meant to be, well some of us. The fact is we are made of all the pieces of the universe. There is monsters out there for sure, worlds of insects. Fangs, teeth and vampires, I bet this universe in all it's dimensions has more darkness then anything else. I bet life came from the dark. Life is the product of the endless crushing, and shitting and jazz. The Darkness has been around longer then then light. I bet you God just wanted to see everything smash. And instead of smashing anything he just made a bigger mess, this happened forever, until his mom came home, Fuck. I'm spinning with what is coming. I'm in the dark, but I can see, and I'm turning away from the others, I have a heavy heavy burden I must take and deal with, The further the better. It's one of those things that just sucks everything in, demolishes it, What is this all about, where are we going to land, the solar system, our sun. Imagine...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

die with a rat eatin the people next to your heart crack

To the lewd I guess
I remember not being so lustful
I was a hand full
I was adorable
alongside adaptable
I was also unstable and a ray of light
in the last
I lost my desires for pursuing
genuine heart pounding pride
they are lewd,
then they are old
they are steaming
like animals
well animals
we are criminals now
some of us are actually bad
mostly women
since men don't stand anywhere
a pussy when
she reeks

Now that's rollin! How bout you?

Lie- Life is really rolling,
No that's true
the world weighs a ton
and it bends space time!

RIght, and in the grand spectrum of mind reading I am very well accepted

I'm starting to figure out that it's all a game and I'm tight 50 to 75% of the time. That means you are probably wrong when you meet me and think you are ....

Have n babies on Adderal and sin suckers, you know the one you can buy in the pharmacy right next to the condoms and the anti sperm shit

My tacked is steering me into solitude, which is not a bad thing since everyone out there is such an asshole. Ha. Yeah I know what you're thinking but that doesn't matter. So maybe it's me, I don't care. I've already lowered my standard for what basic North American human existence is. I fell in love with a rig pig. He was a blast, but the crack addiction was overwhelming, and the bastard, was angry. Well I'm alone now, you know with a little of this and that but due to the natural force caused by the lowering I am incapable of really committing myself with the right zephyr. The relationships created in the last few months have been jaded by a ripple formed by a removal. Pop, and the bubble burst. Fuck. I am so poor now, He used t' buy everything, i mean everything, from the condoms,( I always poked a needle through them, he made me put them on while sucking his balls so he never noticed) The dirty fuck always thought I was trying to get myself knocked up..... well we all are, You now I'm on a path to solitude cause the fuck did it. I' m pregnant, I lowered my standard and now I know love.  ANd I have a sever crack addiction. My rig pig, Yeah he's from Peasant lake it's the big city, he's looking to score, he just got paid, he's making 10,000 a month, except I'm pregnant and he doesn't know. He's coming back and he loves to fuck around all crazy when he gets high, think he'd settle down on me if he knew I'm a few month heavy with his bastard child.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

eat cheese cake baker boy

I try not to regret
I try not to threat
I am sitting in the hall way
I'm here
what'ever the case
this is my strain
my circumstance
my circumference
the weight of it settles me down

I'm not so thrown around
emotions are substantial
situations are dramatic
I'm a commercial
because it's commercial
Friday's I fall in love
I don't care bout Mondays.
it's the way it is in the world of us
even everyone
once they have no responsibilities
there is no real reason for morality
they are for e moral
to fulfill the gap of the responsibility

it's sick

Monday, January 3, 2011

Can I fix it... only if I want to

She is broken baby
she is all wrong for you
she is too tall
she is too smart
she makes you hold
her hands
SHe smokes
she is too good looking
she is the right choice
4 u
she is not the best for your child
because she is so young
but she is beautiful
well that comes with the youth you gave away
I want it back
we all do
I need it back
we all do
she is broken
they all are

there is go go going to be issues I'm sure but good ones!

"Why not have a go at it", one neighbor said to the other. "You know throw some pesticide on that there field full of weeds."

Then I showed up handsome mug and all and said...

 " you know what? I'll pill em.... Fuck the pesticides!"

"Pill em?" they asked

"p p p  pull them, them Pill fuckers!"

So that's the story

let's watch me throw down
it's been a couple years of harvesting
got a lot of shit I have to deal with
Then the other neighbor said...

"Pesticides are good! I also use antibiotics, I think they should be used in schools all the time"

then the one other guy threw a rock that hit all of us in the head
he robbed us and stole our wallets
Ever want to sing with the choir?
La la al lalallala
to the Roasted marry

Sunday, January 2, 2011

My RIO Sunshine- everything is fire, and it can burn

I watched the fantastic 4 ... with my girlfriend..I can just color in RED
It's good to have somewhere to stay!
full of remorse
full of effort
I work with the best color-er in the face of the fire 
I stay here
I have something  to
talk about
true love
a room full of it
overflowing over onto the snowy balcony
I can't retreat
the fire.. the face
and a shadow lady
just like this...invisible
so he can't color her!
only her hair can have color.

don't call my name

Just want my cigarette and hurt!

Nothing like gaga first thing in the morning!

you caN STILL SEE THE CRACK IN that mother fucking reflection!

who here has r=ever written a a BaD ROmanC, ?    ....not me.
plus who cares about chezzy nobodies from SanDiego?

You are something, you are a boiling bat of rogers!

I don't want to be alone for a second. Not one.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

SO always far gone, when there is this shit!

This is all you
you're controlling
you're mean
you are nasty
and you're a straight up bitch
I won't back down to something
That should let me be
I'm sure I behave childishly
but I'm sure her behavior
was the  same in the past you see
I saw it
and caught  it
and suffered the consequences of it
I forgave it
so when it gets thrown back in my face
I blow it back
I'm starting to feel corrupted you see
by the world
by this life
by the line I walk on
staggering behind
Things are reinforced on
what runs on
what is made
of me
TO me nothing else
no judgment
fuck the controlling
signs of me!

This was a Good Night!

but strange things happened!
they are all good
thank God
This is going to be  a year to remember!