Sunday, January 25, 2009

I got balls, do you?

Check this out
most people dream of driving hack
no joke, ask your boyfriend if he ever thought about it
but the truth is most people are scared
this is why
Missing Cabbie watch it, cops don't have jack shit on me, that's why I can talk shit
a link that has some good stuff LINK because the link above lost its coolness but you can click it but this one is better to get the story

Have you seen this one?

get loaded link

WHo the hell is Holly Crap?

Tonight was yet another cold night. Canadians are going through some tough economic times, but Edmontonians are still going to the bar. Except they're driving home loaded to save the extra couple bucks. It's o.k though, the EPS is a proud supporter of drinking and driving. I solute all the great cops out there. I'm sure crime prevention is a lot easier when you pretend that there is none. SO tonight was slow and boring. I was having a hard time just trying to remain sane. That is until I picked up Vinesh Pratap. He wasn't drunk but he sure did look like he was having a good time. We talked about Edmonton. I asked him all sorts of questions about being a reporter, but all he did is ask me all sorts of questions about being a cabby. We got along and the man tipped me very well. I told him to do a story on the city streets and the lack of law. He laughed. That was it. Vinesh made my night, without him I think I would have just went home. THanks Vinesh, here is the link to the stuff I did with the CBC,
If there is any way I can help you tell the city the truth just give me a call.

hey Global made this ....... Missing Cabbie

hey thatt site got rid of the cabby story
here is a new link NEW LINK TO FUCKED UP STORY

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I can cure this social cancer

Holy shit, the fucking cold is killing everyones good time. Except mine. I had a great night, made money, not much but I am still alive. I drove Greater than Giants, the bassist and the Guitar player. Cool cats all the way. They got in holding some donairs, I asked them to forget about eating them until they got home and they listened. We listened to some Sublime on the way. They dug it. Sometimes pussy mother fuckers don't like the Rock and Roll with their ride home. They say it's too loud. How can a good song be too loud? Oh yeah some people are wimps. The Greater then Giant kids were awesome. My last fare was a group of people. I pressured the group to get in the cab. I was like "get in I'm the best cabby you'll ever have" I was right. The last guy left in the group came along to pick up a personal. She lived off of 118th ave. I thought she was going to be a prostitute. She ended up being a woman running from an abusive relationship. 4:30am. Her ex boyfriend. The landlord let him in, he woke her up yelling. She had to leave, she was with a seven month old baby. I was with another guy. The four of us drove to the North Side. I give my clients nick names now, to remember who they are. You can only remember so many Mikes or Amanda's, Billies and Bobs. Her Nick name was damsel in distress. Tonight she really was and I was there for her. I brought a witness. I love the job. I don't need people to see that I kick ass every night. I know they all notice. This morning I drove a women to a safe place with a baby, she was the first parent to ever have a baby seat and she actually used it the right way. Taxis don't need to have baby seats. We are allowed to travel with children in their parents arms. Crazy!

Oh haha there was this dude, he raked up a 78$ fare looking for a hooker on his way to Fort Saskatchewan. He found one. When he approached her (outside the vehicle, I park a block away let the Johns solicit the sex far away from me) he came back angry and upset because he thought she was gross. I thought he was gross. I told him to go home and sleep off the booze. I told him he would wake up tomorrow happy he listened to me. He wanted a hooker. It was to cold, they were all hiding in their crack dens, scraping their crack pips. He made it to the Fort, he paid me 90$, and asked me to drop him off at the local pub. After He threw the money at me he said "I'm going to kill someone" and walked into the bar. I drove away thinking, hell I hope some woman gives the poor angry fuck a blow job for free, he tipped me 12$ for a ride that almost came to 100$. I can't hate him he was one of my best fares.

Friday, January 23, 2009

THis guys blog is fucking Amazing

Canadians are ignorant too It won't happen to us we're Canadian, Fuck!
We thought crime was high now, just wait people, just wait and see.

"Watch your back bro!" Why I can hear you coming?

Scooby Doo, fuck you! So tonight was another beyond cold night. It felt like -30. Windy too. Girls still walking around looking like hookers from LA though. I hope the boys got laid. Tonight I drove a millionaire, he won the set for life. I was like "you're joking" he said "google me". What a lucky guy. It's not every day you drive a kid who makes a 1000$ a week doing nothing. The only reason I know he does nothing is cause he told me. Dude you should do something, but have fun. Hey call me I'll drive you around, you can tell me what it's like to win a million. Later I picked up a women who just came back from London England. She said that she felt like she just left a country going through a major economic depression. I have a feeling that us Canadians are going to feel it too. We all know that oil is no longer a prize. It's dirty and cheap. I think Obama is gonna get rid of Americas super addiction to the crap. I hope he does, I want technology that'll take me to the moon not a gas guzzling SUV that makes oil executives rich. Oh then I drove this girl who wanted to get it on with this guy. She said "I wished I went home with him." I said "you sound like a man." She was hot and young, so I'm guessing he was young too, he must have been frightened of sex. Sex is scary, at first even if you're drunk. I bet she's gonna wake up tomorrow with a head ache thinking " I'm so happy I didn't fuck that kid last night, oh and man that dude was a great cabby." Julian bought me a red bull, he's this bass player I've kinda befriended. Hopefully we'll try playing music together soon.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Slick roads and a snow storm the fucking cold is back

Penthouse Massage, I had one in my car tonight. Well I didn't actually get one I gave three girls that work there a ride to the Bank Ultra lounge. They were awful, well one of them was. I said something about her boyfriend, who did not look like a pimp at all. He looked like a guitar player or some sort of musician. She yelled at me I turned up Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb. They all liked it, they tipped me like 15$. I liked them. I used to drive a Penthouse masseuse. She always paid well. At least until she met a guy. Guys use those types of girls. I don't understand that dynamic, the abusive guy who can control a women who makes 2000$ a day getting other men off. How? Why? Not much else happened. I drove a man from the Missoracordia Emergency, he asked about the first black President. I said I can't wait and see how he does. Neither could he. Wonder what the PentHouse ladies think of the guy, you know they are all going to University to study law and medicine. Penthouse Massage is just to pay Canada's outrageous tuition bills. Bada Boom .

Monday, January 19, 2009

Innocents is on its knees begging please

First fare of the night was a flag from Teddy's. They remembered me. I remembered them. DO you readers remember this. Read it. they kept their pants on this time. There was only two of them, they're a couple. They told me that they gave lots of people the URL. I hope I have at least a small gay following. One of them told his sister and she told him shes had me as a taxi driver a couple of times. Tiny Father fucking planet. The night was slow. So slow again. I got this guy who paid me 75$ to drive him to Millwoods from Whyte ave. Great deal. He was my money for the night. The streets were filled with a criminal element though. You could tell that the Crack hustlers were out trying to feed the crack heads junk addiction, but even they must have stayed home. The pusher were getting frustrated and they were driving like idiots with a power trip. It's o.k there wasn't any cops out there to stop them, so they were free to boot around like they own the city cause they do. My last fare was a couple of young teenage girls. They were dump, straight up. Naive and stupid. They knew it all. I could tell they had just cum from an older guys house, when I called them I over heard them trying to find an earring. One of them mentioned she was on probation. That meant she was out illegally. I asked how they knew this 23 year old dude, since they were still in high school. One of them said she worked for him. She immediately told me she wasn't a hooker. That rung a bell in my mind and I asked for the story. She was reluctant but she told me. She used to bag crack for him, she said it was great money. I told her that she is still innocent and she should get away from this guy. She said "I know I'm not innocent and he's such a sweet heart." The last time I drove him(a crack dealer) he told me "all I want to do is Jam in her mouth and stick it in her ass, cause I love to steal that teenage innocents." Then he told me " If I ever knocked her up I'd punch her in the gut and I'd kick her the fuck out of my house." All crack dealers are the same. See ladies your problem is that you told me all this information, I know the dude is a crack pusher, I know you're on probation, I know where you live and I know where he lives. Scared? Don't worry, I still think you're innocent just stay safe and get the fuck out of that type of situation. When you're in High School tomorrow just remember that the real cool girls want to marry Doctors and lawyer, they don't want a guy who asks them to bag crack and have abortions. See I told you ladies you are still innocent, was I right? Comment please it makes the blog better.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Flip A Bitch and run it back with a Red Bull

Wish I could tell you people a great interesting story but I can't, not one that I was given. I drove a women, crazy eyes she was insightful. She told me she has a criteria for the man she would date. There is five things that she needs him to be before she could really fall for him. She has a list. It's like a cook book of love a "list". I never thought of having criteria. I just followed my manhood, but it's a good idea. What happens if you like someone that does not necessarily belong in the recipe. Do you throw the person out, or do you throw the ingredient in and wait to see if it works with the dish.
My last fare was to Spruce grove, a young electrician. We talked about our jobs, I told him mine was fun. He said "I know, I was in the back seat of a cab once and I was making out with this chick, her friend was in the front and she was jealous I guess, that we were getting it on and she was all alone. So she started railing the cab driver. When we got to their place I tried to get a threesome going, but she wasn't into it. She blew a random cabby but wouldn't touch me. I was hurt." I would never let some random chick touch my dick. That's dirty, but it was a interesting story. Then we stared talking about why Kurt Cobain blew his head off. The electrician said it was all the drugs. I said it was fate. What do you think? Remember it was Easter. He took his life the day Christ came back from the dead. The electrician said that there is no way that mattered. I think Kurt dug the idea that he was a savior of sorts. Kind of a Messiah, a fucking Rock God. Strange. The Electrician told me to think of a world where Kurt Cobain was still alive, he said it would be a different place. I think he was right. Rock and Roll is a powerful thing. Good Music is something the world is given, we haven't had any really good stuff in a while, I have a feeling things are about to change, but who am I. Just another sap listening to the God Dame radio.
oh my God I also drove this girl, she was this chick that convinced me to flush all my prescription drugs down the toilet. I did it, the last of my narcotics, like 50-60 pills. This was way back in my past. Like four years ago.(before my Sun was born) She convinced me and some girl to flush our drugs. The other girl flushed a fat bag Meth. We were both face to face with the devil when we got rid of those drugs. The girl I picked up tonight was an angel then, and she still is now. All the power to you Gab Rock on.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Red White and Abused = CANADA - The USA

Nick nack, tic fucking tac. I think I lost my passport and birth certificate. Who cares? Imagine being twenty two and married for the second week (Newly Wed). Now Imagine wanting out, knowing there is going to be a divorce before the Wedding day even came. Imagine telling your Mom, your Dad and imagine them telling you to go to counseling cause your getting hitched bitch. I drove her last night, she was so relieved she was able to tell someone (Me). Imagine she got pregnant. Ohhh, she won't I hope. We talked about abortion. That's a touchy subject. You know what I'm going to Concordia University. I just feel religious! I'm fucking head over heels for Jesus. Did you know that guys? I'm Justified, just waiting for that bad mother to come on up and make me a T-A-X-I Man Martyr. Gotta love the Top Light. That's my night light. Good thing I'm yours.
I'm having problems at home, but still I am consistently a great cabby, for everybody. I even drove my ex to the emergency room last week, hell I even brought her back and she still treats me like.... She left the baby at home with a friend of hers, when I brought my ex back from the hospital the babysitter was loaded. "Dragon water" red wine "I'm not drunk" she said, fuck that. Readers tell me what you think of that. Or don't. Who cares? I do.
I do love the gig, the driving, my taxihood. I drove a huge chunk of Sonic 102.9. DJ's and directors, people who's voices bring light into my life. No joke. I Love radio, and the people who entertain me are the people that help me enjoy my life behind the wheel. I drove them home safely, they paid me handsomely. My life is Rock and Roll. How about yours kids? You having fun, or you just laying there waiting to rot in the Sun.

Oh and guys here is a shoutout to all the good folks enjoying the occasioanl fat bag of Coke, we all know tonight there were no Jokes when it came to the Cokes.

And No I can't help you find any, cause my drug addict friend/dealer relapesed and needs a day off.(I don't ever help anyone get high) she did relaps though, and it hurt her, I could tell she was clean for over a month. Now it's back to day numero uno.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Here is on old one you might have missed

This guy worked at the Domo, where they jump to the pump for you

See more on CitizenShift

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Old blood Clots taste Good

Ok here is a story from a girl, " So Randy was looking for a Coke Sniffer or a Coke blower (not a whore), you know one of those things you use to snort a bump of Blow or Meth. Posh drug addict style. Well someone told him to drive down to 118ave and find a Chines store and he'd find a Coke Sniffer. So Randy runs down to the 118ave Chines drug paraphanalia place and asks the lady for a Coke Sniffer. He said he could see her rummaging around and out of no where she whips out a Crack pipe. You know the glass tube. Randy though about it and left." Hey Randy if you're gonna go soft you might as well hit the hard buddy. That story made me laugh.
The City needs more Cops, I don't want to talk shit it's just the streets are filled with drunk kids driving like assholes, running red light and whipping shities like it's nobodies business. I think I'm getting old cause driving fast scares me a bit.(Lie) Seeing those idiotic rich fucks drive like jerk-offs just makes me angry, and scares the fares. Stop it kids! Grow Up.....and have fun.
When I was an 80mg a day amphetamine (Dexedrine) pill popper (my own prescription) I drove across the continent. From Wisconsin to Alabama, sleep. From Alabama to Daytona beach Florida.Sleep. Back to Alabama. Then all the way to Banff, that's where I started driving a Taxi. I was still eating my prescription drugs as a meal replacement. I talked to license plates, they told me where to turn, they told me who I was, they even told me why I'm here. Now, I got a kid and I've been sober for over three years I still listen to the little voices, they tell me where to go, how to get there, they even tell me why. They come from the back seat, they're just as random and fucked up, crazy and gross but they're real. They're you! Sometimes I miss- understanding the license plate, and sometimes I still hear them talking. Fuck I'm a lunatic, but I do love you guys. Thanks

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Imagine if you owned hundreds of gas stations

Tonight was the type of night that almost gave me a nervous break down. I drove personal clients, these two girls, loaded, I'm talking millionaire money (No tip). Must be the economy cause this whole week, I barley made ends meet so far. That's OK I have faith that all my dreams will come true. Just not the way I had dreamt them. Man there is more con artists out there then ever. Well maybe not I just let one con me. I'm too embarrassed to say what happened, so just read it on his blog He has a big chunk of what I made tonight. Strange I know, I let myself get burned. He had a kid with him, he said his mom was an escort at the fantasy land hotel and she needed a ride but he had to pay for the pizza right now. I lent him the money(so wrong) I got his phone and ID. I drove to pick up blow Job mama and when I got there, no ones waiting. So I waited a long time, calling buddy with kid back every so often. She never shows, I call him fed up and he tells me she got busted. He owes me money, I hate that. I hate that he used his kid (or her kid, or maybe he's not even a part of the family) I hate that I got used. There is more to this one I'll tell you if the collateral pans out. If not I'm stuck with a dead phone and a pimps ID. Yuk! Fuck I sucked. Tonight was warmer but the slush was just awful to drive in. So many people went out, most of them must have driven home drunk because there was no work. Crowds of people though. No cops either, I think they're on vacation, you can only jerk your partner off so many times before you need a week off. The only good thing that happened to me was I drove this guy from a private club the West Edmonton Music Society. Man I asked the dude at the door if I can go in, he said "No, members only." So I asked "how do I join" he said " you can't, only a member can sign you in" I told him my fare will fall in love with me. When My fare came we talked about it, how I feel as a musician and all that Jazz, I hope he liked me cause I would love to see what goes on in that place, if you're from Edmonton look into it, it's cool trust me.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Goal!........Now that's Art...cuming.....right God?

Is a pick up artist a swinger? I don't know. I drove this couple to THe Mall tonight, they were pick up artist. The dude told me"there are 12 steps to picking up a women." I forgot everything he said. He had a hot chick with him. She was a pick up artist too. They told me they had an open relationship. What the fuck is an Open relationship? From Driving the taxi, I think it's chemistry, but there is a cook. You never know if he's fixing up something you really wanna eat . I think the last step in THe PickUp Process was Sex. Score!
The night was cold, again. Painful. I called the Bear, they played me Nirvana. I couldnt find anyone to drive, I listened to the song alone in my car. "Lithium." This city is getting smaller and smaller by the minute. I drove these girls from Montreal. "Take the Long way home" by super tramp was on. They got in and said with Quebecois accents "the Marriott downtown." I turned up the super tramp. The chick in the front seat turned it down. I love Montreal, I tried talking to them in French, my french is rough, but its there. I understand it. It was a boring ride. Sometimes I think I suck, but then I realize it's the people.
I drove the unofficial manager to the WednesdayNightHeros, dude always a hoot. Man The city is getting smaller. It's not growing anymore. The Boom is dieing. Gas is cheap, and I drive a Mazda God knows I want a Jeep. Edmonton isn't as bad as I make it out to be sometimes. It's a big city.
When it's this cool and this slow you have to hunt. No standing around. I move in the cold, the car's warm, in fact I keep it hot. I found a few fares and got a personal. The personal is an English teacher/student/server at the UofA. Eloquent, and spot on. I think she has even traveled. She told me she read the blog, told me it's entertaining, she told me it has run on sentences, grammar and punctuation problem. SHe said "I'll edit it." She was drunk. So if some anonymous person tries to tweak the blog, bring it on.
I'm a pick up artist, I'm one of the best. I pick everyone up and take them the long way home/the only way home. That's why I pick people up, to meet them, take them somewhere, get paid. The Taxi driver is a true Pick up Artist, this ain't no swingers club. You really have to Score! then its beautiful. It is truly an open relationship, its Art. I'm a Professional.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

This Guy was not a gentlemen I was Just nervous

Tancowny, Give em a C-Over

Tonight I needed some inspiration, I sat down at around 9:30pm and started reading a magazine. Concrete Skateboarding, Great! Flipping through the pages I stumble upon a kid I remember seeing on the streets of Edmonton, Jamie Tancowny, I watched this kid bust out an incredible sesscion the first time the Zero team showed up in Millwoods. The first time I ever saw him was at this skate park in Beverly, holly shit he is a skate superstar. Seeing that picture made me realize I gotta get out there and fish out a story or two. The only story I could get is that people dig the cab ride. Even the drunk belligerent Oilers fans (Oilers lost)that were determined to maul an innocent bystander were won over by my ass. Dude those guys were the only real danger. Lots of girls, I showed off for all of them. This Job was a treat tonight. It snowed! I went to McDonalds with a couple of ladies, totally smooth rides. There was one girl from New Brunswick she invited me in to smoke a joint with her, I just said "No." She was a sweet person though so it wasn't that easy. I started work at 10 pm tonight, I had so much fun, it was like it wasn't work. When it feels like work I just turn up the radio and drive. There was no nirvana TOnigth thought, but who cares.

This kid Inspiered me, a long time ago, The best skatboarder I have ever seen in real life, amazing!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

some crap in edmonton 124st 111ave

Make a Buck And The government Takes your Buck

Dude tonight was so awesome it sucked! Cold again. Man this is a tough winter. Got the photo radar man and he took a picture of my ass. Hey that's just a part of being a taxi driver in our great province of Alberta. I met Alberta once, she was ugly and fat but I fell deeply in love with her. Hey, do any of you guys know the triple X on Stony Plain Rd and 152st, you know the XXX, tonight I found out what really goes on there, I though it was just porno. No, no my friends, Al a fare told me that you can have sex with a hooker in your own private booth. The booth consists of a leather chair and a TV playing a porno of your choice, you can't rewind it though only the fast forward button works. I guess when the clips over you gotta leave or else. If you're not into women then on the other side of this porno palace is the mens section, with everything you would ever want for dirty erotic homosexual sex, yes I mean they got glory holes. Al told me as soon as he'd seen a mans fingers come out of there he threw the 5$ worth of tokens he had bought on the floor and left, only to come back to pay ten more dollars to sleep with a street walker in the gentleman's booth. Al also told me that his girlfriend is an escort 350$ for a half hour. If you pay her is she really your girlfriend Al? I also drove a hooker who was trapped outside in the cold, she told me "I can do drywall." What the fuck does that mean? Ooo I picked the girl up who said she was sobering up, totally true, she's been boozing it up, but hey no rock. Congrats.
Hey its Wednesday here is something from the WednesdayNightHeros
rock on guy and gals

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I drove a women with a non contagious skin disease

Has anyone missed me yet, God what's the world coming to. I had a slow Monday night but I needed to get out there. I'm depressed, I think it's seasonal. It hit me like a tone of bricks on New years day. That was my moms birthday and also the day I had to drive her to the airport. We fought on the way about how I'm working way to much, I had a bad attitude almost the whole time she was here and I'm guessing it was just that seasonal depression creeping in. I'm still a kick ass cabby. Man I was a rocking cabby when I was on drugs too, psychotic but fun. Ok enough about me and my issues what the hell has been going on. Tonight I drove like five people but my last fare was a doosy. She was seventeen, she was on her way back to her house. She told me her mom kicked her out on New Years day for having a big party at their house. I was like "oh that sucks, did anything get smashed", she said "No, a good friend of mine got stabbed five times on the front porch, then he stumbled into the neighbours yard and almost died." I asked if he's o.k, she said "Yes he's fine still in the hospital but no nothing too bad." Remind me never to go to a teenagers party on the west end. Hell everyone never party anywhere near Stony Plain road. Oh yeah I had this fare, he remembered me, he told me that I picked him up and he gave me a massive tip. I told him "I rock." He told me the time I picked him up "I just broke a bottle over some fuckers face remember." Hell I think I wrote a post about it. How can I forget being a get away driver. Hence the big tip. He obviously does not read the blog but hey, he's been in it twice. Is there any readers out there that want to be in the blog but haven't set foot in my taxi. Just call #taxi hahahahahaha or flag me the fuck down. Peace out people, and thanks for worrying about my mental health, I almost drove off the high level. (Bad Joke)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

HAppy Birthday MAMA I Love you

Happy new year, mmmmmm what a great night. I had so much fun booting around in my taxi cab. It was beyond cold in Edmonton last night. The roads were slick. Ok so there was this young couple, they were 18, both of them. She was pregnant, they found out for the new year and they were going to party the little zygotes life away, Hurray! So I felt a little squeamish, I wanted to tell them not to have an abortion, but hey who the fuck am I? We all know it's not even the father decision, it's all in moms hands. Mama! Who's that? Who cares. One of the last fares I had was on the west end, I pulled up to a group of cops in cop cars, well they were standing outside talking to my fare. Right as I pull up they jump and hop to move out of the way. I asked the fare what was going on. He said that somebody was dropping their shoes out of the 15th floor of the high rise. Cool. I asked for more Info. The guy told me that he was getting drunk with a buddy. The guy asked him (my fare) to step outside of the apartment. He did, there was three of them out there. They locked the one girl inside the place. Well the owner of the apartment had this massive butcher knife and he tried to stab my client. (This all happened before I showed up) He had some marks to prove it. Crazy psychos. I rang in the New Year with a women that got in crying and left in the arms of her ex husband, she told me she loved him, she mairried him three times but couln't stay with him cause he loves the crack, she said he met the crack on the oil patch. Fucking Fort Mac when the fuck you gonna burn down. Alberta has another year under her belt, lets hope she dosen't get any fatter this year she looks a lot like.......fuck it I'm done. Happy Nnnn zzzzzzzzzzz